"Unless this government does something, New Irajinia won't have an auto industry for much longer," says auto industry union boss Larry Chicago, in a rare public appearance alongside management. "These foreign companies employ people for a few Irajinian Dollars a day. The only way to level the playing field is to raise tariffs. The government would make more money, too, so it's win-win."
"For once, I agree with my grubby colleague here," says General Chassis CEO Colin Winters. "Although I have to say, tariffs aren't the only answer. A more effective solution would be to abolish minimum wage laws. Now that would level the playing field. And we'd be able to employ more--argh, let go of my throat!"
"I think we need to face facts," says noted economist and chat-show regular Randy Rubin. "We live in a global economy now, and automobile manufacturing just isn't New Irajinia's strong suit. There's no point taking money from taxpayers in order to line the pockets of a few greedy workers and corrupt managers in a doomed industry. Let the market takes its--argh, let go of my throat!"
LET GO OF MY THROAT
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