Dwarf Fortress Megathread! - Necro'd enough to count as a vampire

[Scream.]

It won't let me set loving destinations ;-;

[Ad Bot]

[Littledude]

I have 2000+ units of drinks, and over 3000+ units of food. :I

Make them reproduce

force them to procreate
shove viagra down there throats

[Dropshock]

Make them reproduce

force them to procreate
shove viagra down there throats

The dwarfs? God no. I already have 89 dwarfs, I don't need more.

[Scream.]

How do I make them do their designated jobs?

They're like playing with wild dogs or something, and won't listen to me

EDIT: I got them to stop, and they cut down a tree, but they just left the wood there and went back to the dogs. watdo

[Littledude]

You might not be keeping them happy.
You could also try using Dwarf Therapist.

[IkeTheGeneric]

How do I make them do their designated jobs?

They're like playing with wild dogs or something, and won't listen to me

Look at the op links for all the information you need

[Dropshock]

I got my waterfalls for my royal dining rooms dug out, now I just need to get some water in it c:

[Littledude]

noooo
Make it lava falls

[blaman]

Wow, what? Why do these elves have a caged up giant panda? Aren't they supposed to be like, tree huggers?
LOL WHATEVER IT'S MINE NOW LATER cigarette ELVES

I got two black bears from one elven caravan I seized :D
Going to train them into War Bears whenever they get tamed

[Dropshock]

noooo
Make it lava falls

forget that stuff monday too much work

[Scream.]

YES
FINALLY GOT THOSE mondayS TO DO stuff

except for the fact that the dogs keep distracting them lol

[nickbond1]

I got my waterfalls for my royal dining rooms dug out, now I just need to get some water in it c:

Let me introduce you to the world of pumps and Waterwheels.

[Scream.]

EDIT: Nevermind, found it.

Finally getting some work done. B)

[Bloody Mary]

Am I the only one who makes an elaborate prison system for all the captured goblins and trolls that turn up? Just killing them seems so boring.

[Dropshock]

Let me introduce you to the world of pumps.

Uh, okay, yeah. I'm fully aware of pumps and how they work. In fact I'm using at least 8 of them now.