The Elder Scrolls Megathread

[NotKreation]

I want dwarfs. Short, stocky, bearded men! And crossbows. And a mudcrab companion that will follow you and fight for you but never die! Or just the first 2... or just the last one.

Dwarves are taller than dark elves.
The giants are the ones that named them dwarves,

[Ad Bot]

[Man 2]

OMG IT'S NOCTURNAL!!!!1! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!1

[Rainbow]

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-children-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-love-maneuvers/

[Man 2]

Once the player has decided if they want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from Stormwind, they get to take control of their hell spawned fictitious demon.

Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard, shows the player images of decapitations and after the third of forth head chopping, a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting loveual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

Is this a joke? I hope so.
forget me I've been trolled. Funny as hell.

[Rainbow]

Is this a joke? I hope so.

i guess you didnt read the comments

FUK DAT NINJA

[Littledude]

[Wynd_Fox]

How did you fall for it, lol? MMO? Blizzard?

[fred da kiko]

...but that means.... THE DARK ELVES ARE
THE DWARVES!

[Dodger]

Christwire is a satire website BTW

Anyways, welcome to Rorikstead. Don't be a dragon and you'll live

[Proog]

We are the 99%.
Occupy Whiterun.

[fred da kiko]

holy stuff, i cracked the master lock in dragonreach with the elven sword on my first move, it took my half a second to open. i didn't do this with high lockpicking either, i think i have under 30 lockpicking and only the novice lock buff.

[dkamm65]

Pretty much the only skills I use are sneak, archery, and lockpicking. Those are the only 3 I've put perk points into, and those are the only 3 over 50. They're 99, 90, and 97, respectively.

[Man 2]

Smithing is an immensely useful skill to have if either a warrior or a rogue. I am currently powerleveling my rogue in it, he's at about 91 right now. Money issues are keeping me from continuing right now.

[Jacob/Lee]

I can pick any lock I want, no matter what the level with no fear of running out of lockpicks! The Skeleton Key is great.

[dkamm65]

I can pick any lock I want, no matter what the level with no fear of running out of lockpicks! The Skeleton Key is great.

You don't need the Skeleton Key. Lockpicking isn't that hard, and lockpicks are absurdly abundant.