FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jan 08 14 36 27 2012
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP
What, Grace... this?
GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --
TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?! -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
GONZALO IS HERE
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Oh, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he's right on time!
GRACE
Trip...!
GONZALO
GONZALO HAS ARRIVED
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Gonzalo!!
TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! How are you doing, you look great!
GONZALO
PRESENT ME WITH FRESH JUICE
TRIP
Uh... -- (interrupted)
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
(GONZALO sits on the couch.)
GRACE
Gonzalo,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long! -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
I NEED JUICE
GRACE
Uh...
GONZALO
I AM GOING TO DIE
(GONZALO gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
Uh... well... um... (clears throat)
(GONZALO kisses trip.)
TRIP
Oh, uh, ha ha! You're kissing me! You're so funny!
GRACE
Oh... ha ha ha...
GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...
TRIP
Huh, I'll close the door.
TRIP
Gonzalo, let me get you a drink.
TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests.
(Trip closes the front door.)
-this is the part where I glitch and go outside-
(GONZALO picks up the brass bull.)
TRIP
Oh, that brass bull, that's a gift from my business contact in Barcelona -- -- (interrupted)
GRACE
What is that doing out here? Didn't I ask you to put that away?
(GONZALO puts down the brass bull.)
TRIP
Uh, yeah, I will, later, after our friend leaves.
(GONZALO picks up a trinket 1.)
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
So! Drinks!
TRIP
So, what's your poison?
GONZALO
GONZALO HAS YOUR carrot
TRIP
How about something fun,
TRIP
like margaritas?
GONZALO
Sure.
TRIP
Uh, well, I think I'll just make us all margaritas.
GRACE
No no,
GRACE
Gonzalo, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?
GONZALO
THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING
TRIP
Aha! Great! Drinks comin' right up! -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
I WOULD LOVE JUICE
TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix us another drink in not too long...
GONZALO
FRESH BANANA JUICE PLEASE
GRACE
So anyway, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
In terms of drinks...
(GONZALO puts down a trinket 1.)
TRIP
Grace usually refuses to drink what I'm making, but tonight I get the feeling she'll join us.
GONZALO
HELP ME
TRIP
Well, I was just going to ask Grace what she wants.
GRACE
I don't feel like drinking tonight.
GRACE
Just some mineral water for me.
GONZALO
I AM OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW
TRIP
Yeah, you know, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Grace's decorating has been such a great outlet for her.
GRACE
Outlet? What do you mean outlet?
TRIP
And I'm always encouraging her -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
IT IS COLD OUT HERE
GRACE
If that's how you feel... (annoyed sigh)
GRACE
Yes, you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.
TRIP
Grace, oh, no, we don't need to do that. -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
IT LOOKS FANTASTIC
TRIP
Here you are Grace, your drink is ready.
GRACE
Thank you.
TRIP
Ah, yes, Gonzalo, I knew you'd like -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
GIVE ME MY DRINK TRIP
GRACE
So, about my decorating...
GRACE
Uhh, what I wanted with this room was some kind of post-modern style... -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
DRINK
(GONZALO comforts trip.)
(GONZALO picks up a player's drink.)
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
(frustrated -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Oh, ha ha, well...
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
GRACE
Well you're really affectionate tonight, aren't you.
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
TRIP
(little sigh)
(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)
(GONZALO puts down a player's drink.)
GRACE
I bet I can return most of this, and start over again on this room...
GONZALO
THAT WAS GLORIOUS
TRIP
Well, it's funny how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace finds the time to decorate... and re-decorate...
GONZALO
BEST BANANA JUICE EVER
GONZALO
BANANAS
GRACE
Oh, how nice, I've been waiting so long for someone to say that!
TRIP
Wait, what? -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Trip, our friend has just been refreshingly honest about my decorating, which I -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN
GRACE
Oh but I liked what you said about my decorating... Besides, I'm redoing it all this week, so...
GONZALO
i said bananas
TRIP
Heh heh, Gonzalo, -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
wtf are you talking about
TRIP
Wait...
TRIP
You think I'm...
TRIP
communicative...
PHONE
** RING **
GONZALO
what
TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...
PHONE
** RING **
GONZALO
ANSWER THE PHONE.
GRACE
Ha ha, yeah... -- (interrupted)
PHONE
** RING **
TRIP
Ha, never afraid to push our buttons, ha ha ha, heh...
PHONE
** RING **
ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **
TRIP
Uhh... ah... anyway.
ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!
ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **
ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.
TRIP
Oh, it's your parents! I'll get it --
GRACE
Trip, Trip, please, I don't want to talk to them right now...
TRIP
I want to say hello --
GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...
ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.
GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.
(GONZALO picks up a trinket 5.)
TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --
ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.
(GONZALO puts down a trinket 5.)
GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they expect me to drive up to the house in Connecticut to attend all their stupid socialite charity benefits -- (interrupted)
(GONZALO picks up a trinket 2.)
(GONZALO puts down a trinket 2.)
ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all. Uh, goodbye.
(GONZALO picks up a trinket 7.)
GRACE
(big sigh)
GRACE
Gonzalo, you're not enjoying this are you?
TRIP
What?
GONZALO
WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS
GRACE
Listen -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
THIS STATUE IS OF A MONKEY
TRIP
Anyway...
TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful... -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
A MONKEY WITH A snake
TRIP
(nervous coughing)
GRACE
uh...!
TRIP
god, I don't, um...
GRACE
uuh...!
GONZALO
DO NOT COUGH BEFORE ME
GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...
TRIP
what...
TRIP
heh, ha ha...
GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!
TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!
GONZALO
GIVE ME MORE BANANAS
TRIP
Ha ha ha, Gonzalo,
GRACE
heh heh...
TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...
TRIP
heh, ha ha...
TRIP
You're not afraid to say anything, are you?
TRIP
push our little buttons... -- (interrupted)
GONZALO
YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE star fish
TRIP
what...
GRACE
uh...
GONZALO
what
TRIP
You're...
GRACE
He is...
GONZALO
monday titties
TRIP
Okay, Gonzalo, you know what? I think you should leave.
TRIP
Gonzalo, come on, you've got to go.
GONZALO
lol mortal
GONZALO
lol
GONZALO
LOL TRIP
GONZALO
YOU CANNOT REACH ME
-we run around outside for like 3 minutes-
TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.
(Trip closes the front door.)
GONZALO
LOL NOOBS
