The above user is about to die

[Vegetarian Zombie]

You choke and I save you

I have love

[Ad Bot]

[Isaac Fox]

I grab and pull you away just before your sperm interjects.

I get shot in my ring finger.

[HellHound]

You won't die, better get to a hospital.


I'm eating.

[MrMcCakey]

you stop eating for too long and you die of starvation

I'm naked on fire and there's no way to save me

[Man 2]

Put a blanket over you.
I'm aging!

[Name is Unavailable]

Here's some anti-aging cream. Oh wait, that stuff doesn't work.

I'm about to step on a land mine.

[Clone v.117]

I block the land mine with a kitten.

I am allergic to kittens.

[Isaac Fox]

Eh.

I thought I was flexible enough to give myself a lewinsky.

[Man 2]

Still want that lewinsky?

Help! Help, I'm being repressed!