wait here's a better system
pis: piss off pistols... goddamn useless puny-ass guns that somehow outclass everything else out there...
mpi: more pissing, because for some reason some people want guns that piss faster.
smg: suburban men's gun. because whenever there's a zombie apocalypse/red army parachute invasion/pirate insurrection you can bet on people anywhere and everywhere getting their hands on one of these.
sni: snickers. bring plenty of them with these kinds of guns because you get hungry fast. and you'll be snickering when your enemies are confused as forget because the raycast tracer despawned before it got to their location.
sho: showing off, i see. probably to replace your other thing that can't shoot nearly as much stuff.
rif: reality in (your) face. being the forgeter with the accurate, fast gun is the forgeter you want to be, not the forgeter you want to be up against.
arf: like a dog, assault rifles are your best friend. unlike a dog, they don't die on your hands and leave you weeping over an animal corpse.
bri: bringing home the bacon because you can. big bullets, big gun, big clip, big spread, what else could you ask for?
mag: magazine. because all you need is a magazine (or two) to keep yourself interested while this gun is doing the work for you.