Atsinan children wake up to coal in their stockings, as a message plays on TV.
The president appears at a podium, suit and all and begins to talk.
"Children of Atsina, there is a reason you got coal today. Santa realized that your parents have been spreading anti-Atsinan propaganda. Not all of you have, but one for all and all for one. FIX YOUR WAYS!" Screams the President as he turns into the Grinch.
Tears are collected and used as lubricant for the president.
jk guys merry christmas