Poll

When should two people get married?

18-20 years old
8 (8.6%)
21-25 years old
41 (44.1%)
26-30 years old
28 (30.1%)
31-35 years old
8 (8.6%)
36-40 years old
1 (1.1%)
41+ years old
7 (7.5%)

Total Members Voted: 93

Author Topic: What are your thoughts on marriage?  (Read 3733 times)

Atheists don't get divorced because they're amoral starfishs who consider the law the only restriction on their life and sometimes not even then. Okay, obviously that's not what you meant, but their morals aren't the reason they stay married less frequently. It's just that there's a higher stigma around getting divorced in religious communities. Though honestly I'm surprised atheists who don't take marriage as seriously still get married at all.

Sure, spend some money on it. A month or two's wage perhaps, but don't blow all your money on it.
Two months wages is a loving lot.
Maybe not if you're a part time fry cook getting married while still in college, but for anyone at a point in their life when its reasonable to get married, that's still potentially ten thousand dollars.



By the way, my mother has been divorced twice, and my father has been divorced three times.

How long should they be dating for? I guess this varies from person to person. Personally, I wouldn't propose before hitting two or three years unless I knew the girl beforehand.

How old should they be when they marry? Doesn't matter a whole lot, though if they're fresh out of high school then I think getting married would be a little naive. In college it would be hard to balance school, a job, and the relationship, but it could work.

Should the man propose to the woman? Doesn't matter who proposes, though the social norm is the man. So I guess it would be the man by default.

Should the man blow his life savings on a ring? No way! I'm going to use a ring that's been in my family for generations, that way she'll melt from the sentimentality... plus it's a gorgeous ring. :D But spending a fortune on a ring is crazy. I think the act of engagement should totally outweigh the value of the ring itself.

OP, I think it would help you be less biased if you'd add a "13-17" option in the poll.

Not trying to be rude, but do you really think getting married before you're 18 is a good idea?

divorce rates are massively lower for religious groups than the non-religious groups.
Nope, other way around
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=religious+vs+atheist+divorce+rates
Even more interesting, conservative christian have higher divorce rates than more liberal christians
« Last Edit: April 01, 2014, 05:51:46 PM by Headcrab Zombie »

Not trying to be rude, but do you really think getting married before you're 18 is a good idea?
His God wills prefers they do it. I'm being serious right now, that's what he said.

The ends justify the means, Qwepir. If by "forming my own opinions" you mean coming up with my own personal definition of marriage and deciding things the way I want them -in essence, "playing god" and deciding what I think is right and wrong-, then that path leads only to death, and I do not wish to follow such a path.
If you took a path that led to only death the rest of the world would thank you.

His God wills prefers they do it. I'm being serious right now, that's what he said.
I did not say it that way; please do not try to twist my words to make it sound like I was making a universal statement that everyone should get married at that age. I said back in biblical times, as in, back in the time periods documented in God's word, it was a very good idea to get married at such a young age. These days, many of those benefits are moreso found in other new capabilities of modern society, while some of those other benefits can no longer be obtained because the way our corrupt modern-day society functions makes them nearly impossible.



Not trying to be rude, but do you really think getting married before you're 18 is a good idea?
The society we live in today is certainly very different from the societies in the Bible. Given how complex (and simultaneously corrupt) our society is today, it's hard to say what exact prerequisites would need to be there for the idea of <18-age marriage to be overall a very good idea.

The primary perk of marrying that young is that it greatly strengthens the two believers against potential loveual immorality. That's really one of the only perks that still remains.

If such young marriages were to function well in today's society (they wouldn't anyway, therefore the following is for a hypothetical situation), I believe access to birth control for people of all ages would be one of the main requirements. This would be especially crucial if the couple wanted to wait until they were financially capable of supporting a child. (Though you don't have to be well-off in order to biblically have children, it is very unwise to raise children when there is not the money available to take them to the doctor, to feed them, clothe them, clean up after them, etc.)



To make myself more clear, I am not recommending people today get married at young ages. They should get married when they are ready. The right time for someone to get married is entirely dependent upon their circumstances and situations, as well as personal and spiritual maturity. So really, the right "age" for marriage cannot be measured by age- but when the man and the woman are personally ready.
I myself am not ready to get married yet. I am going to wait another year and a half until I am in college to consider dating.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2014, 06:40:41 PM by Planr »

I said back in biblical times, as in, back in the time periods documented in God's word, it was a very good idea to get married at such a young age.
No kidding, if you got married at 18 back then you'd only have about 12 years to enjoy your union before you both die due to how stuffty life was back then.

Marriage is the perfect way for 1 person to improve their life quickly.
However it's a huge burden on the other person.

Notice how in any dating couple. The most excitable one when it comes to talks of marriage always seems to be the one who has the most to gain.


True happiness can only come from married people who could have gone on fine single for the rest of their lives. Money wise.
That marriage improves both lives.

Party and hook up with chicks early 20s.

Get married and start your life late 20s.

The majority (not all) will usually end up waiting longer before making big decisions.
Many religious groups believe premarital love is bad. However, this belief does nothing to actually prevent the desire for love, which is a primitive instinct and extremely difficult, if not impossible, to entirely control. They (sometimes) just end up rushing into marriage so they can satisfy their loveual urge. I see and hear of this all the time among religious people.The guy "accidently" gets the girl pregnant, so they have to rush into marriage so their parents don't know they were having love before marriage. And then, surprise surprise, their rushed marriage doesn't work out, and they divorce
Groups that don't hold this belief have no reason to rush into marriage, and can take their time as needed.

They also follow restrictions and morals while many atheistical groups could care less so long as its legal.
What kind of made up word is "atheistical"
Just say atheist
And are you really suggesting atheists have no morals?
« Last Edit: April 02, 2014, 03:38:15 PM by Headcrab Zombie »

Civil marriage shouldn't really, you know.... entail legal punishments/women gets everything because human nature takes its course

Of course divorce is mainly "okay, you have this, I have this" but sometimes it is more sketchier and worse.

Are you aware of how stupid you make yourself and your religion sound whenever you post anything at all?
Form your own loving opinions you mindless godzombie.

this

Nope, other way around
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=religious+vs+atheist+divorce+rates
Even more interesting, conservative christian have higher divorce rates than more liberal christians

Interesting.  I guess I wasn't looking at a reliable source.  I looked more into it and it does actually seem the case.  You got me there.

Many religious groups believe premarital love is bad. However, this belief does nothing to actually prevent the desire for love, which is a primitive instinct and extremely difficult, if not impossible, to entirely control. They (sometimes) just end up rushing into marriage so they can satisfy their loveual urge. I see and hear of this all the time among religious people.The guy "accidently" gets the girl pregnant, so they have to rush into marriage so their parents don't know they were having love before marriage. And then, surprise surprise, their rushed marriage doesn't work out, and they divorce
Groups that don't hold this belief have no reason to rush into marriage, and can take their time as needed.

Prevention of desires is definitely hard to control.  Once you reach the later pre-teen years, your hormones explode and you are pretty much just along for the ride.  You can control your actions though.

And are you really suggesting atheists have no morals?

They definitely have fewer than Christians do.  I didn't say atheists have no morals though.  I was just saying under this particular situation.  I guess since I'm in the subject, I can give what I see from atheists (mostly from this community, the Internet, and at school).

1. They don't have acceptance for people with beliefs (bullying, trolling, arguments, etc).
2. Science rules their views of life and the universe.
3. The extremists stand out more than the majority (same way for religion).

I'm going to add the other way to the street, since everyone has a say.  Here is what I think atheists think are wrong with religious groups (focusing on Christianity).

1. They are overbearing and chase others down to push them into their own circle.
2. They are too "good", since many don't swear often, believe in abstinence, stay away from drugs, don't drink or smoke underaged, etc.
3. They tend to be more close knit than other groups (mainly because their aren't as many self-proclaimed atheist or anti-religion groups) with churches, house groups, friend circles, etc.

They definitely have fewer than Christians do.
In what way?
Before you answer, give this article a read.

I was just saying under this particular situation.
What moral issues are there in this particular situation, other than divorce, which I've shown is lower?

I guess since I'm in the subject, I can give what I see from atheists
What "you see" is limited to the "vocal minority", and probably subject to confirmation bias

this community, the Internet
This community (at least the active forumers) is an atheist majority. The internet in general is, if not majority atheist, considerably higher percentage that the general population. This makes the number of individuals in the "vocal minority" even higher, and thus, more apparent.

and at school
Public primary/secondary schools are notorious for being filled with rude children who bully the hell out of everyone for the littlest of things. If you go to college, practically every complaint you could have about the students will be nonexistant (at least it was for me)

1. They don't have acceptance for people with beliefs (bullying, trolling, arguments, etc).
2. Science rules their views of life and the universe.
3. The extremists stand out more than the majority (same way for religion).
1. You refuted this point for me in statement 3. I, and most people, don't give a single forget what people believe, until they start pushing it into politics, education, etc; ways that affect me or other people.

2. Scientific viewpoints have nothing to do with morality, and scientific views are not specific to atheism: there are plenty of religious people with a full understanding of evolution, the big bang, etc.

3. There are considerably more extremists among religious groups than there are nonreligious groups. The problem is that online communities mostly consist of the younger generation, and that generation has an enormously higher percentage of atheists, so you notice them more.

1. They are overbearing and chase others down to push them into their own circle.
2. They are too "good", since many don't swear often, believe in abstinence, stay away from drugs, don't drink or smoke underaged, etc.
3. They tend to be more close knit than other groups (mainly because their aren't as many self-proclaimed atheist or anti-religion groups) with churches, house groups, friend circles, etc.
1. I don't think bullying of religious people (at least the Christian majority) happens all that much, I've never seen it happen (I exclude online interactions in statements like this, because people say and do all sorts of things when they can hide behind a mask of anonymity). But I've seen a ton of it from religious groups towards atheists. I bus through downtown Minneapolis a lot, and during the summer months, at least once a week I see some street corner preacher yelling at everyone that they're going to hell. Certianly this isn't a reflection of all religious people, but it's a hell of a lot more prevalent that the equivalent behavior from atheists. The most I've ever seen from atheists in a real life setting is a picture I saw online of a billboard or something like that that said something along the lines of "There might not be a God, so relax"

For all my life I was dragged along to church with my extended family during holidays, but last Easter I decided that as an adult, I had the freedom not to. My grandma was upset, but everyone else didn't care; they could probably figure out why, since even as a child I was never really interested in any of it. But this year, Easter is just me, my mom, and my grandma, and if I skip church she'll probably bitch me out, and if I tell her why I didn't want to go, she'll bitch me out even more. I have never seen this type of behavior from atheists (again, as I mentioned, excluding online interactions).

2. The link I posted at the beginning of my post addresses this statement.

3. I don't see why this is a rational reason to hate a group?
« Last Edit: April 02, 2014, 05:08:00 PM by Headcrab Zombie »

The society we live in today is certainly very different from the societies in the Bible. Given how complex (and simultaneously corrupt) our society is today, it's hard to say what exact prerequisites would need to be there for the idea of <18-age marriage to be overall a very good idea.

The primary perk of marrying that young is that it greatly strengthens the two believers against potential loveual immorality. That's really one of the only perks that still remains.

If such young marriages were to function well in today's society (they wouldn't anyway, therefore the following is for a hypothetical situation), I believe access to birth control for people of all ages would be one of the main requirements. This would be especially crucial if the couple wanted to wait until they were financially capable of supporting a child. (Though you don't have to be well-off in order to biblically have children, it is very unwise to raise children when there is not the money available to take them to the doctor, to feed them, clothe them, clean up after them, etc.)
woah I can have love at 14