what i'm getting out of this is that it in no way affects me, huh
Congratulations, you've found a way to be dismissive without sounding too much like it.
Of course this doesn't affect jack stuff in the "real world". But nobody involved has to deal with Ebola, Iraq, the Pope or any of the big pressing issues. Drama gets made because anything that *does* affect you actually has no visible consequences on your day to day life.