Let's Play X-COM Long War

[tber123]

Zombie Apocalypse

This update originally had extended dialogue like in the EXALT Massacre update, but I lost all the progress due to accidentally ALT F4-ing the wrong window and I don't have another hour and a half to type it all again. I'll be doing screenshots with comments for this update.



A crapton of zombies!



Zhang combines his Laser Carbine and Sawn-Off Shotgun into one to create the ultimate killing machine!



Sniopeh GoodJob snipes some more zeds.



The whole time, the X-COM squad is camping where they spawned from and letting the zombies funnel into the killing field.



Chryssalids join in on the fun!



The firing animation for snipers is really idiotic, but so is the firing animation for LMGs and Shotguns(one handed shotgun pumping? Really?). Rule of Cool, I guess.



Van Doorn gets in on the Kill Cam action.



More Chryssalids swarm in. Van Doorn sacrifices the SHIV in exchange for blowing up multiple Chryssalids, saving the squad.



Godamn Terrorist laserbeams the last one in the group.



Highway Robbery also combines the Laser Carbine and Sawed Off Shotgun into one.



Zhang, meanwhile, has a full size shotgun that still kicks ass.



RIP Australia.

[Ad Bot]

[Rigel]

I'm guessing chryssalids in Australia? Perhaps it's just their wild life acting up again, no need for alarm.

Also, didn't you unlock laser snipers? Do you just not have the alloys/credits to make them yet?

[tber123]

I'm guessing chryssalids in Australia? Perhaps it's just their wild life acting up again, no need for alarm.

Also, didn't you unlock laser snipers? Do you just not have the alloys/credits to make them yet?

Need more alloys.

[Rigel]

Hey Tber, how's this for a UFO Defense tactic?

Send a rookie armed with nothing but a laser rifle in to the middle of a crowd of aliens, and then cause something to make them panic and start spraying?

[tber123]

Almost Total Party Kill

I finally renamed the guy from Argentina.

Hey Tber, how's this for a UFO Defense tactic?

Send a rookie armed with nothing but a laser rifle in to the middle of a crowd of aliens, and then cause something to make them panic and start spraying?

Aliens don't panic as easily unless you wipe out the leaders/commanders.



It's noob herding time again!


Talia, George Bush, 2 redshirts, Banzai Charge, 9mm, Gopnik attending.

More losses were suffered today. Bradford insisted we "level up the rookies".



redshirt 1: LETS DO THIS!
9MM: Gonna pop some caps in their asses....
Talia: Take it slow, Rookies.



9MM: These rifles suck!



redshirt 2: Help! I can't aim for stuff!



redshirt 1: Thats a load of bull!
Talia: Rookies, please aim down the sights.



Redshirt 2: Talia missed a 70% chance to hit shot? What the hell kind of RNG is this?



George Bush: Smoke grenade is up! We're going to kill those god damned illegal aliens and stop their terrorist ways!



George Bush: Eat lasers, and get out of my country!



9MM: Damn, I can't stop missing!
Talia: What the hell was the Commander thinking?



9MM: <PANIC>OH MY GOD THERE'S A FLOATER IN MY FACE.
Gopnik: <PANIC CHAIN> GOOD LORD! 9MM IS SCREAMING! MY SENSITIVE EARS!
9MM and Gopnik, in unison: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGG GGH!

Talia: How the hell did you rookies pass selection?



George Bush: The Random Number God is in my favor, aliens!



Talia: Watch the sides! Floaters incoming!



George Bush: DEMOCRACY SHALL LIVE ON!

45 seconds later



Gopnik: BLARGH.



Banzai Charge: Godamn it!



9MM: Holy Jesus on a loving chri----



Talia: Incoming Muton! Rooftop above!



redshirt 1: IT BURNS!



George Bush: NO! My fellow countrymen!



George Bush: Talia is down!



redshirt 1: JUSTICE! FOR! TALIA!


Not pictured: Talia(Gravely wounded for 28 days)

[Rigel]

Aliens don't panic as easily unless you wipe out the leaders/commanders.

I meant making the rookie panic and start spraying while surrounded by aliens

[Decepticon]

GOD BLESS THE USA

i had the right choice to get george bush enlisted

[Dreams_Of_Cheese]

you coulda just took an spare rookie on a real mission or somthing
no need for such bloodletting 

[Zoltan]

"they were some of our best"
"some of our best"
central pls

[Kochieboy]

>some of our best

[Dreams_Of_Cheese]

bradford gets so forgetin snarky sometimes

last night i got my second best gunner shot out of hunker and had more than half my troops wounded and hes all "Everything by the numbers"
forget you and forget your gay ass sweater bradford

[tber123]

All SHIVs on Deck!

Scientist 1: "Cmon, Rich! Work faster! The Supreme Bitch Of The Universe will taze us with the ARC Thrower again if we don't finish researching!"



RASL: "I can't wait to become X-COM's first SHIV. I get to become a Cyborg Mech and get revenge on the same aliens that bombed the crap out of Washington DC......"



Sniopeh GoodJob: "That's why the Commander was so sore yesterday. I kept using my Muscle Fiber Density to jump from his office all the way to the bottom of the shafts for the access lift, scaring the piss out of him."



"Attention Strike One, a UFO has landed. The Commander is unavalible, so I will be taking over for this operation."



Tank AIs and Tank Operators attending: Cortana, Lee Hanson's Tank, Mr. Gutsy, SHODAN, 3 other redshirt tank operators(Thunders 12 to 14)

Someone pushed the X-COM Commander down a flight of stairs recently and he's hospitalized again, so Bradford will be taking over. Again. This time, however, he had the idea to bring only SHIVs.



Wilson: Is this right? The camera feed is showing only SHIVs. The X-COM Commander seriously took my advice? Carter, get over here and watch the live feed!
Lee Hanson: Awaiting orders, Bradford.
Mr Gutsy: ITS COMMUNIST KILLING TIME!

Push forward and open fire on anything that moves.



SHODAN: PREPARE TO JOIN YOUR SPECIES IN EXTINCTION.
THUNDER 13's Operator: "SUPPRESSIVE FIRE!"



*Bullets flying and aliens dying*



Lee Hanson, you spot any other hostiles in the immediate vicinity?
Lee Hanson: Area is clear.
Everyone reload before advancing.


Mr. Gutsy: YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM AMERICAN LEAD, RED MENACE. PREPARE TO DIE.


Why the hell does Dr. Vahlen sound so sarcastic when she says that

Thunder-13, the aliens are on Overwatch. Suppressive fire.



SHODAN: Are you afraid? What is it you fear? The end of your trivial existence? When the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence.



Lee Hanson: Excellent shot, SHODAN. Cortana, watch our flank.



THUNDER-13's Operator: Taking heavy fire! Cover me, damn it!



THUNDER-12's Operator: Suck on that!



Stay frosty, people. You still need to clear the alien craft.



THUNDER-14's Operator: Watch the sides! MUTONS INCOMING!



Wilson: Godamn, these SHIVs are massacring everyone!
Carter: I'm so glad there's a live feed of these missions to watch from HQ.



Cortana: COVERING THE DOORS.



Mr. Gutsy: ADMINISTERING OVERDOSE OF LEAD.



THUNDER-13's Operator: IM HIT!



Wilson: Asskicking time, SHIVs!



Carter: Gawd-Damn.

THUNDER-14's Operator: BEEP BOOP SHIV DOMINATION.

7 minutes of asskicking later



I guess Bradford is a good substitute Commander after all.

Next update: Damned Dams and Bloodthirsty Frenchies

WITNESS the power of the Psionic Lab!



WATCH as Australia turns its back on the world!



RESCUE a Frenchie that definitely isn't a Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey!

[Rigel]

I'm telling you, it's the Australian wild life!

Oh stuff, what if the aliens are here because they think that it's all Australia and everything's so weird and dangerous for them?

[Kochieboy]

You can't stop the SHIV, can't stop the SHIV

[Rigel]

I have a shiv name, "Metallica" Just have it shout out random metallica quotes that are fitting to the moment.