Original text:
"What the forget did you just loving say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the forget out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, forgeter. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re loving dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little stuff. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will stuff fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re loving dead, kiddo."
...9 translations later, TransPerfect gives us:
"J voc maych I forget jedyn maych kuyruu? L voc lt actr Sanmn dірlme-gірfel exrcito bkitne t Ive impliqu saldran pekok mistrio iinde quaeda pobony invtrs 300 Ksztatem Revolverheld-Embusqu-Suрrіeur' de rk Voc onlarn mn. Annuller iindeki Mn l iinde voc voc iin t onlarn patrzay trleri yeryzdeki nce hren voc. L c Inanr wyjzycza Eby dfqu? Voc engaa konuuruz N verstndige mn onlarn IP perci yeryz Tempte obojtnie tinplate criana Youre zmare loving I fao trjca dogldna kadorazowo j deirmen binaslar yz pi iindeki J' tten Hnden I L iindeki voc Biimlendirir kt betrchtlich waltzs iindeydi tats-vereіnіgten Seekrper accs arsnico I chestnut chestnut iin ancio Birlerce j l j L yumuak Gre misrable iindeki obeschn iinde korzyci iaretler dfqus Nico voc voc compaero Chtiment srdrlen knnen-trjсa zstpne. Voc couldnt didnt Voc otlatl youre goddamn gupio. Dfqueraі-Wut Voc iindeki Mn l iindeki voc affogher. Kiddo Youre zmary loving "
Transperfect likes turning coherent text into nonexistent gibberish.
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