they probably realize that you don't know right off the bat that you don't know their preferred pronouns
I'm aware, and I apollogize, but that's the thing -
perfering a gender is not what I want to hear from you right off the bat. I don't give one crap about what gender you are - I'll call you whatever you want/view yourself as, but when you make it "your thing", it seems kinda silly, and off the bat/a tad extreme.
Seriously. I understand people have gender problems, but when I meet someone, that's not what I want to know about them.
edit:If that last part sounds rude - sorry - it's good to know when people have gender problems (and I shouldn't be telling people what to say about themselves) but I'm just saying it can be a tad annoying.