i'm so loving done with dark souls 2
this is some next level bullstuff oh my god
black gulch: we don't know how to map design so here's poison everywhere that you have to clear every loving time you die. did we mention that you'll be invaded 3 times in a row if you didn't waste a humani- sorry, original human effigy do not steal? also, the boss totally isn't a carbon loving copy of nito since we're out of ideas, we promise. you totally didn't have to go through a dark area with poison stuff at the end of it and then you totally didn't have to fight a mass of bodies in a cave with a move set incredibly similar to nito. nope!
earthen peak's connection to iron keep: hey do you like bonfires? that sucks because there's a ton of bullstuff in between the last earthen peak bonfire and the first iron keep bonfire and we hope that one of the multiple npc invaders or the honorabre warp speedaru plate armor giant samurais gets you a couple times, or perhaps the cheap poison bullstuff everywhere at the end of earthen peak. you know those 30k souls you had from killing all those enemies and that uninspired medusa ripoff of a boss? no, yeah, those are gone, lol. oh, btw, you might get stunlocked by two of our headless wolverines right after they poison you with poisoned throwing knives that you didn't dodge because if you tried you'd roll into a pot of poison.
not to mention they ruined a good chunk of the game's lore by adding random stuff like human effigies and primal bonfires and the ability to warp from the start yet at the same time being unable to level up on your own
or having to give the emerald herald flask shards instead of increasing the strength of the bonfire
i'd be okay with this if they actually explained why any of this stuff makes sense but throughout ds2 it's just swirling plot holes, kind of like what they made the darksign look like (even though in every other example it's a circle of fire????????????)
oh here have a talking cat to make up for all the insurmountable bullstuff btw
did we mention you can be invaded while undead and you need to waste a ring slot if you don't want your health to be loving HALVED as an undead?
btw we're still butthurt about giantdad and havelmom so we removed havels ring and added a stufftier version called the loyal soldier ring