WAIT, WHAT?BLOCKADE BLASTERS is a quick (hopefully) forum game, a DESTROY THE WALL spinoff with some elements shamelessly bogarted from PASS OR FAIL. You are various chuckleforgets hired to demolish a series of barriers, with or without defenses, by ANY means necessary. You post an action ("
I pull a ramjet out of my ass and ram it into the barricade"), and I ask the RNG what happens ("
1, the jet explodes and kills you.")
ROLL GUIDETreat these like the unchangeable laws of physics or some stuff like that - they generally determine how hard that ramjet explodes or how hard you punch something. Your actions can either go as expected, land a critical hit, or blow up in your face - depending on how random.org feels today.
Let's for example say you want to shoot the barricade with a gun:
1. | OH GOD OH stuff | - The bullet ricochets off the barricade and nails you in the head. Heads, you survive but get hurt. Tails, you're boned - details further below. Generally something loving bad. |
2. | YOU forgetED UP | - The gun blows up in your hands. Your action fails and throws you on your ass, hurting you. |
3. | AWKWARD PAUSE | - The gun promptly jams. Literally nothing happens. Imagine a tumbleweed rolling by when this occurs. |
4. | ACTION SUCCESS | - The gun fires a round into the wall. Your action behaves as intended, doing damage. |
5. | SUPER SUCCESS 64 | - The gun empties itself into the wall. You manage to go the extra mile and do a lot more damage. Generally the best option. |
6. | JESUS loving CHRIST! | - The gun transforms into a rocket and blasts off into the wall, dragging you along. You manage to do something loving outrageous, which does a stuffload of damage but has a half chance of hurting you as tradeoff. |
You can also get caught in the collateral damage of another person's action, if you manage to get hurt.
HEALTH AND KNOCKOUTSGenerally you shouldn't be able to survive loving Terminator-killing amounts of damage unscathed. You start off with 3 hearts - and those go down whenever you get particularily unlucky with rolls. The nifty chart above shows what can get you hurt (in an eye-catching
red), and all of these will substract a heart.
Run out of hearts (read: get forgeted by the RNG thrice), and you're temporarily
out. And then instructed to go to the bleachers, to feel bad.
If you get a particularily nasty roll of 1, you are
INSTANTLY OUT.
TO THE BLEACHERS.
TO FEEL BAD.
If you're KO, you're encouraged to post something along the lines of "
revive pls", "
roll to escape the bleachers", "
I wish for lighting to strike my corpse, so I may live again!" etc. If I see these, I
flip a coin. Heads, you're back in the game. Tails, you're still out.
BOOSTSYou can also forget attacking and instead opt to give someone a boost: +1 to their rolls, so that if they roll a 2 they get a 3 instead, and so on. Rolling a 7 will cause them to blow up and die. It also heals the target, or outright revives them if they're KO.
Just say "i'll assist %username" or something along these lines, and BAM.
OPPOSITIONLike mentioned above, you're wrecking various walls - which will try their hardest to survive and hinder you by various means. Exerting an aura of authority, swearing like a sailor via an attached speaker, or just flatly shooting with a mounted turret. They also have a rating attached, which is there to give you a general idea of "how long will it take to break this forgetass thing".
ROADBLOCK: 100.00%
╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────╥─────────
■▌▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▐
■▌████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████▐
rating: weak