Dice With 100 Sides - I Never Asked For This

[CypherX]

stop your bleeding with your magic rooster

[Ad Bot]

[Refticus]

ride your rooster as a plane for magical educational adventures

[Bears]

try to become satan again, if it fails, roll for an attempt at summoning 50 imp minions to fight for you

[startacker]

Get a bandage and stab the hobo with your homophone ryhmes

42, You bandage your wounds somewhat, and stab the hobo, but didn't do that much damage

stop your bleeding with your magic rooster

94, All your bleeding was healed with your magical snake

ride your rooster as a plane for magical educational adventures

54, You start riding your rooster around like a plane in a magical educational adventure coming to you at your local supermarket only $1.99

try to become satan again, if it fails, roll for an attempt at summoning 50 imp minions to fight for you

3, Satan banishes you to hell, in the corner where the furries go

GAME OVER

51, You summon 50 imps to help you fight, hopefully they can put up a fight.

INVENTORY
Tornado Staff
M1911A1(3/7 shots)
$25,010

[HULKHOGANWWFWORLDCHAMPION]

Bodyslam a monday

[Refticus]

sucker punch a monday

[Blockchip]

Run to the nearest mental asylum, because you are probably insane.

[Space1255]

Grow your richard to be two feet long

[CypherX]

slap a monday with your now 2 foot long richard

[startacker]

Bodyslam a monday

56, you bodyslam Some Guy to the ground!

sucker punch a monday

9, You miss Another Guy, falling into a nearby sink hole, breaking your arm. Some hours pass, and when you wake up, you hear gunfire above you.

Run to the nearest mental asylum, because you are probably insane.

92, You run up the sinkhole somehow, Salt Lake City is in total anarchy, buildings are burning, people are dead, and of course your monkeys are doing forget all. You grab some weapons and ammo and run to the nearest insane asylum.

Grow your richard to be two feet long

25, Your richard shrinks to 3 inches

slap a monday with your now 2 foot long richard

35, You turn around quickly, only to fall to the ground, there's not even anyone near you.

INVENTORY
Tornado Staff
M1911A1(3/7 shots)
M4A1(17/30 shots)
STANAG Magazine (30 shots)
G27 (9/9 shots)
G27 Magazine (9 shots)
AKS-74U (15/30 shots)
RPK Magazine (45 shots)
$25,010

STATUS EFFECTS
Broken Left Arm

[HULKHOGANWWFWORLDCHAMPION]

punch the monday that broke refticus' arm

[Tornado Kirby]

eat aforementioned monday

[Clownfish]

roll a d12

[Tornado Kirby]

summon tornado to destroy entire city except 15ft radius around you

[startacker]

punch the monday that broke refticus' arm

97, You find him near the sinkhole, but he's dead already, lucky you!
You still punch him in his face. And take his stuff

eat aforementioned monday

41, All you could get off was a finger, and it tasted like whatever a finger tastes like

roll a d12

73, a d12 falls from the sky, guess you'll use that.

summon tornado to destroy entire city except 15ft radius around you

Dice with 12 sides is in effect

5, You summon a tornado and it destroys everything around you.

Dice with 12 sides is no longer in effect

INVENTORY
Tornado Staff
M1911A1(3/7 shots)
M4A1(17/30 shots)
STANAG Magazine (30 shots)
G27 (9/9 shots)
G27 Magazine (9 shots)
AKS-74U (15/30 shots)
RPK Magazine (45 shots)
Dice Tech^TM Swiss Army Knife
P228 (11/13 shots)
$25,010

STATUS EFFECTS
Broken Left Arm