MindHive [Thread finished, now planning for Quest to Save Kompressor Redux]

[Marios]

Use your megaphone app to say:

"Joshua. You need my help. I need your help. We can get out of this together. I'm the vending machine outside. You can't survive alone."

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

Joshua cannot be saved. Disconnect Joshua. Next Subject.

Second thought. Call Annoying Orange. Get us a helicopter over here and get Joshua outta here now.

VendOS calls Donald Annoying Orange.

Donald Annoying Orange: "Hello?"
VendOS: "PLEASE GET OVER HERE IN A HELICOPTER. THERE IS AN ENTIRE CAMP OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGALLY OCCUPYING MY 100% AMERICAN OFFICE BUILDING."
Donald Annoying Orange: "Jesus!"



Donald Annoying Orange immediately leaps out of a helicopter and lands.

VendOS: "BEFORE YOU GET THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, YOU HAVE TO SAVE JOSHUA OVER THERE. HIS RIGHTS AS A REAL AMERICAN HERO ARE BEING INFRINGED UPON AND HE MUST EVACUATE. TALK HIM INTO COMING WITH US."



Donald Annoying Orange tries to talk down Joshua!
Donald Annoying Orange wasn't very effective....



Joshua panics and whips out the AR2 Pulse Rifle, firing a 3 round burst at Donald Annoying Orange!
Donald Annoying Orange breaks into pieces!

Call cruz to dispatch of Joshua because he's gay

VendOS: "HELLO?"
Some Guy Named Cruz "Who the forget is this?"
VendOS: "I NEED YOU TO COME OVER HERE---"
Some Guy Named Cruz hangs up.

Try to find a taser or something to make joshua not be able to attack.

CAN'T FIND ANY TASERS.

trick joshua into thinking that you can remove his chip.
when you gain his trust, reactivate it.

Use your megaphone app to say:

"Joshua. You need my help. I need your help. We can get out of this together. I'm the vending machine outside. You can't survive alone."

VendOS:"JOSHUA. YOU NEED MY HELP, AND I NEED YOUR HELP. I AM A FELLOW VICTIM OF MINDHIVE, AND THEY TURNED ME INTO A VENDING MACHINE. WE CAN GET OUT OF THIS TOGETHER. YOU CAN'T SURVIVE ALONE. I KNOW A PLACE WHERE OUR MICROCHIPS CAN GET REMOVED."

Joshua freaks the forget out at the sight of a living vending machine and raises his weapon!

uNLEASH HELL WITH YOUR SALWATER BOTTLES.
PRESSURIZE THEM SO THAT THEY CUT WHEN THEY BURST OPEN.
THE PLASTIC SHARDS WILL PIN JOSHUA TO THE WALL, LEAVING HIM OPEN FOR ASSIMILATION.

offer joshua a bottle of salt water

VendOS: "HOW ABOUT SOME SALTWATER TO CALM YOU DOWN?"
VendOS fires pressurized Saltwater Bottles at Joshua, striking the torso five times! The Saltwater Bottles all explode into shards, cutting up Joshua and pinning him to a wall!
Joshua's spleen is shredded!
Joshua's left lung is shredded!
Joshua's ribcage is torn apart!
Joshua's liver is shredded!
Joshua shivers softly and whispers "Why, Lord? Why?"


VendOS moves in to capture Joshua when the First Responders finally find him!
Officer: "POLICE! FREEZE!"
Officer 2: "My God.... It really is a rogue vending machine!"
Officer 3: "No sudden movements or we'll gun you down! Come with us!"

You are being arrested by the police. Sudden movements or resisting arrest will cause them to open fire.

It is 10:00 PM on Tuesday, December 20. Until Joshua is captured, you will be controlling a vending machine
VendOS is UNDAMAGED and wants to RECAPTURE JOSHUA
Joshua is NEAR DEATH and BLEEDING SEVERELY
Primary Weapon: AR2 Rifle (27/30 rounds in magazine, 2 extra mags)  (1/1 AR2 Energy Ball, 3 extra Balls)
Secondary Weapon: Back Alley Doctor's Colt Python .357 [5/6 rounds, 1 extra speedloader]
POLICE RAID IN PROGRESS - VendOS HAS BEEN LOCATED
RAID LEVEL 1: Police First Responders (6 Cops)
JOSHUA MUST SURVIVE

Inventory
Saltwater Bottle x25
$665

[Marios]

Try to lead the police officers away.

"A rogue vending machine, you say? I saw one run around the corner left of me, straight down the road."

[PowerDag]

this is an extremely resilient man to survive literally having his chest torn in and both one of his lungs destroyed. what the forget did you implant in him besides that chip?

[Drydess]

WHEN DUTY CALLS, CRUZ FAILS TO COME. THIS IS WHY WE DON'T VOTE FOR HIM, KIDS

[Space1255]

Start breakdancing

[gebenuwell]

sacrifice yourself for the safety of joshua

[The Murderous Cop]

Prove your innocence by singing the National Anthem upside down while reading the Bible on your phone.

[Refticus]

your genocide crusade begins here

fufill your primary objective at any cost

[bigcapitalbaka]

your genocide crusade begins here

fufill your primary objective at any cost

Unleash your Omnidirectional Saltwater Overdrive Blast at the areas where the officers are.
Move toward Joshua, and place him in your saltwater storage.
VENDOS. YOU ARE NOW ONE WITH JOSHUA. YOU ARE JOSHUAOS, the REINCARNATION AND EPITOME OF HUMAN AND MACHINE INRERACTION.

[Marios]

VENDOS. YOU ARE NOW ONE WITH JOSHUA. YOU ARE JOSHUAOS, the REINCARNATION AND EPITOME OF HUMAN AND MACHINE INRERACTION.

That's both pointless and implausible. Pointless because Joshua wouldn't be able to control the vending machine just by going inside it, and the vending machine won't become better anyway. It will just be Joshua carried inside the vending machine.

The last one is not a bad idea though.

[kongo]

make a giant butcher's cleaver out of saltwater bottles to murder the policemen with

it is time to hunt

[bigcapitalbaka]

That's both pointless and implausible. Pointless because Joshua wouldn't be able to control the vending machine just by going inside it, and the vending machine won't become better anyway. It will just be Joshua carried inside the vending machine.

The last one is not a bad idea though.

yea but metal resist bullet

[Marios]

yea but metal resist bullet

Joshua wouldn't be able to control the vending machine just by going inside it

[KentMansleyDaBoss]

Shaking my head in disappointment. Send some combine snipers.