MindHive [Thread finished, now planning for Quest to Save Kompressor Redux]

[Refticus]

break joshua's resistances to commands

then stuff yourself and devour the yellow snow

[Ad Bot]

[?Sir Info? 2]

Convince the mayor to raise the min wage then get a job at some store with 25.00 a hour
If the mayor refuses ask what map is this

[d]

break joshua's resistances to commands

then kill yourself

[tber123]

break joshua's resistances to commands

then stuff yourself and devour the yellow snow

Joshua obviously resists this command.

Ask for a lawnmower and start up a lawn mowing company

ask him for playboy magazines

Joshua texts back to his dad, asking for a lawnmower(so he can get a job by being his own boss at a lawnmowing company) and playboy magazines. His dad texts back that Joshua will be getting a lawnmower, but Joshua can just buy a damn playboy magazine himself.

Convince the mayor to raise the min wage then get a job at some store with 25.00 a hour
If the mayor refuses ask what map is this

Joshua calls the Mayor on his phone and asks him to raise the minimum wage.
The Mayor refuses.

Joshua starts explaining why raising the minimum wage is good.
The Mayor calls Joshua a filthy Left-Wing Commie Liberal trying to destroy America, and hangs up while screaming that the Communists will never take over his beloved America.

Damn. Joshua's not too sure about getting a job if the minimum wage isn't $25/hr.

go to market and obtain food for christmas dinner

Joshua walks into the market. People are out and about.



Security Guards nearby keep a close eye on everyone, keeping the peace. Joshua takes a look around him.



Jacket 1: Can you believe it, though? Because I can. This is life-changing!
Jacket 2: Should we tell them?
Jacket 1: Nonono, man. Not yet. We need summadat lottery money for ourselves!



Guard 1: No, sir. That's illogical as hell and there's no way that could ever work.
Beanie 1: C'mon, man! Trust me! I got it all worked out... <points at own head> In my brain!
Guard 1: Go find somewhere and someone else, sir. Good day to you.



Customer 1: Two oranges, please.
Vendor 1: That will be $12.



Guard 2: Hey, Ruby! That guy givin you too much trouble over there?
Guard 1(Ruby): Not anymore, Jefferson! We're done here!
Guard 2(Jefferson): How about you, McRedshirt? How's it going on your end?
Guard 3(McRedshirt): Everything's fine over here!
Guard 2(Jefferson): Good! Keep it up that way, or the Boss will have the asses of you two rookies for dinner!



Security Guard Jefferson looks at Joshua suspiciously.



Guard 2(Jefferson): Wait a minute! What the hell is that?



Guard 4: Holy stuff! HOLY stuff!



Guard 4: <Panicking> HE'S GOT A MINIGUN!
Bystander: WOAH!
Bystander 2: OH MY!



Vendor 2: <Gasp> He's heavily armed! He's going to kill us aaaallll!
Guard 3(McRedshirt): <Yelling into radio> We got a situation here!



Guard 4: Easy there, buddy! Easy! Let's drop the minigun and talk about your mother!



Security Guard Jefferson leaps up from the table and whips out a .357 Revolver, before levelling it at Joshua.
Guard 2(Jefferson): You there! FREEZE! What are you doing with that minigun on your back? Don't make me have to use this, because I will!



Security Guard McRedshirt whips out a Beretta 92FS and aims it at Joshua's face while moving in to hold him at gunpoint.
Guard 3(McRedshirt): Don't do anything stupid, boy!



Old Man: Take cover!

Nearby civilians begin panicking.



Bystander 1: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Bystander 2: <Like a little girl>AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!



Security Guard 2(Ruby): What the hell?
Beanie 1: Whats that?



The Market Vendors and Customers get down on the ground, playing dead.



Onlooker 1: Would you look at that! A damn minigun.
Onlooker 2: Things are really going to hell in a handbasket now, eh, Mary?



A nearby Gangster, alarmed by the confrontation, whips out a submachine gun, turns on the laser sight, and aims it between Joshua's eyes.



An entire market is going up in flames all because someone finally noticed that Joshua has been bringing that damn Flare Minigun everywhere. Didn't see that coming.

It is 10:59 AM on Thursday, December 23. On January 1, Joshua will be released from MindHive. Assuming Augmented Horizons isn't lying.
Joshua is Healthy and

Joshua's Inventory
VendOS's New Arms
Flare Minigun
Soccer Ball
Yellow Snow x12
Subject 6024's Electronic Multi-Tool
Subject 6024's Tablet

SECURITY GUARDS ALARMED - CONFRONTING JOSHUA OVER AN OPENLY CARRIED MINIGUN

[Marios]

Tell the guards "What the hell? I am only bringing this minigun for self-defense. I've been into a lot of misadventures recently, you know. And no, I am not gonna go on a killing spree with this thing, like, how paranoid can you possibly be? I just want something to eat for Christmas, thank you."

[Space1255]

LMFAO finally
Just say it's for a cosplay you're working on and say you're giving it a test run to see how long you can walk/run with it.
Edit: Alternatively, say you're looking for materials to make it more badass looking.

[Nicepoint]

Carrying guns legal you guncontrolcigarettes

[Refticus]

stuff yourself and eat the yellow snow you fat, disappointing roosterroach

[Whackin]

talk in spanish, they'll just think its tradition

[hotremox]

kick the guard's asses with the minigun

[KristoB]

warn them about the ganger with a loving smg aimed at them
then tell them its for a costume

[TableSalt]

No hablo Inglés

[?Sir Info? 2]

No hablo Inglés

talk in spanish, they'll just think its tradition

Don't, Annoying Orange will rise and "take care of those Latinos"

[Mr Queeba]

kick the guard's asses with the minigun

don't
this is a terrible mistake

[tber123]

stuff yourself and eat the yellow snow you fat, disappointing roosterroach

Joshua resists this command yet again.

talk in spanish, they'll just think its tradition

No hablo Inglés

Joshua doesn't know any Spanish, but Tablesalt conveniently provides a line for him to say!

Joshua: N---

Don't, Annoying Orange will rise and "take care of those Latinos"

But Sir Info reminds Joshua about Donald Annoying Orange and the Mexicans! Joshua decides not to.

kick the guard's asses with the minigun

don't
this is a terrible mistake

Joshua is against the thought of murdering all these security guards, and there's the fact that murdering them in public would lead to jail! And prison rape. And getting shanked up the ass by an angry cellmate.

Carrying guns legal you guncontrolcigarettes

Tell the guards "What the hell? I am only bringing this minigun for self-defense. I've been into a lot of misadventures recently, you know. And no, I am not gonna go on a killing spree with this thing, like, how paranoid can you possibly be? I just want something to eat for Christmas, thank you."

Joshua: What's the problem, officer? I have second amendment rights here, you know! It's just for self defense! Not like I'm gonna kill everyone on my way to get some Christmas dinner!
Guard 2(Jefferson): A goddamn minigun is overkill! We ain't buyin it! Drop the gun on the floor, now!
Security Guard 3(McRedshirt): You're clearly only here to kill us all and get famous on the newspapers!

LMFAO finally
Just say it's for a cosplay you're working on and say you're giving it a test run to see how long you can walk/run with it.
Edit: Alternatively, say you're looking for materials to make it more badass looking.

warn them about the ganger with a loving smg aimed at them
then tell them its for a costume

Joshua: It's just for a costume! You know what a cosplay is? I'm just seeing how far I can walk with this airsoft minigun on my back! I'm cosplaying Minigun Kid from Bloody Good Slaughterhouse XXIV!

Security Guard 4: Oh.
Security Guard Ruby: Oh. Okay.
Security Guard Jefferson: Oh. Nevermind.



Joshua suddenly notices the gangbanger taking aim at him.

Joshua: Look out! There's another guy with a gun behind you!
Security Guard 1(Ruby): Oh crap! You there! Drop the gu---



P-P-P-POW!



The Gangbanger fires a short burst from his gun at Joshua, but the recoil sends the bullets way off-target, striking Security Guard 4 three times in the side, incapacitating him!



Everyone either runs the hell away or dives to the ground as the Gangbanger starts spraying the SMG on full auto, sending even more bullets all over the place! Two unlucky pedestrians are still stuck and killed!



Security Guard Jefferson also catches a bullet to the face, instantly killing him. Meanwhile, Joshua dives for cover behind a bunch of boxes.



Security Guard McRedshirt takes cover and prepares to ambush the Gangbanger. Meanwhile, Security Guard Ruby hides behind a nearby wall and screams into his radio about backup.



Joshua might be hiding behind a bunch of wooden boxes, but those things aren't bulletproof! The Gangbanger starts spraying bullets INTO the boxes, reasoning that one of them will penetrate through the box and kill Joshua!



As the Gangbanger continues spraying bullets into the boxes, Security Guard McRedshirt pops out of cover, takes precise aim with his pistol, and plants one into the side of his skull!



Finally, it's all over. In the span of no more than 45 seconds, four people are dead and one guy is about to be dead. All because someone finally noticed Joshua lugging around his minigun everywhere, and all because some random Gangbanger got too trigger-happy.

MEANWHILE



Beanie 1: Hold up! Hold up! Take me with you!
Bystander 2: We gotta keep running! I know a place where we can hide from that maniac before he kills us all!



A screeching van suddenly pulls up to the Market!



Gang Members pour out of the Van and open fire on the escaping civilians!



Another screeching van pulls up to the Market!

All entrances and exits of the Market are cut off by the Gang Members!

You hear a voice screaming out over the gunfire:



"Nobody forgets with the Pistol Brotherhood! Prepare to die, all of you!!!"

Gang Members begin rushing into the Market.

It is 11:05 AM on Thursday, December 23. On January 1, Joshua will be released from MindHive. Assuming Augmented Horizons isn't lying.
Joshua is Healthy.

Joshua's Inventory
VendOS's New Arms
Flare Minigun
Soccer Ball
Yellow Snow x12
Subject 6024's Electronic Multi-Tool
Subject 6024's Tablet

Time spent posing: Over an hour and 45 minutes

GANG MEMBERS INCOMING: Pistol Brotherhood