ATTACK RESULTS
Twix: Rolled
2You grab a sledgehammer in each hand and raise your arms, ready to smash.
Both your shoulders are dislocated from trying to one-handedly lift sledgehammers in a striking stance.
Cybertails 1998: Rolled
2As Twix hollers in absolute pain, you pry a sledgehammer from his mangled arms. You walk up to the Tiger II’s barrel and whack it from the underside. The barrel jerks up to its maximum elevation, then
comes back down directly on top of your head, slapstick comedy style.
NotBomberguy: Rolled
5As you talk to the crews of the tanks, they begin to fall under your brainwashing become convinced by your sound diplomacy, and almost agree with your viewpoints. The national socialist mental programming underneath all the layers of logic
stops them from fully converting, though.
Notorious B.I.G: Rolled
6The Russian government is so piss-drunk that they forgot they sent the Satan II and think they didn’t send a nuke, so they decide to make up the favour by
sending the Tsar Bomba as well. They will arrive on the same turn, and anyone not in a shelter will loving die.JamesH: Rolled
4You use magic to mess with the minds of the first tank crew, causing the national socialist mental programming to be erased! With nothing to stop it, NotBomberguy’s diplomacy manages to
turn the first tank to your side! It immediately turns and fires on its partner,
doing 73 damage!Just M2: Rolled
2You grab your engineer by the collar and run inside the bunker. Turns out he had his highest button fastened, and he
dies of strangulation while being dragged.Space1255: Rolled
3 Clone rolled
6The Hagakure blade uses its high avoid to dodge your attempts to grab it. However, it happily leaps into the arms of your clone, who
uses Luna for 91 damage against the second tank! However, after using the sword, your
clone feels drained of strength.Clownfish: Rolled
6You shoot magic aqua regia arrows at the second tank, burning huge holes through its armor and
dealing 93 damage! The acid smells like rancid marmalade and the rotting flesh of vegans, causing your nose to sting like a jellyfish was inside it.
Redconer: Rolled
2You try to revive TableSalt by sprinkling pepper in his nose. This introduction of his mortal enemy just causes his dead body to convulse in spastic shock.
GrapeJellyToastMan: Rolled
5With your STRONK POWER, you grab the turret of the second tank with both your hands and try to rip it off. It’s attached more securely than you thought, but you manage to shake it around a bunch,
dealing 78 damage to the tank!tber123: Rolled
6You notice }]Crazy[{‘s skeleton lying on the ground soulless, so you pick a random soul from the afterlife and shove it into his body. It turns out to have been the soul of Winston Churchill, who sees that you are fighting Germans and is filled with righteous fury,
causing the skeleton to fly into a furious rage!!SubDaWoofer: Rolled
1no they can’t
saddened by your lack of trustworthy companions, you curl into a fetal position and cry,
taking 1 mental damage.CRITAWAKETS: Rolled
6You
let out 11 gallons of your blood, sweat, tears, urine and various other bodily fluids, summoning the ULTIMATE EVIL!! which turns out to be
Adolf Riddler, who pops up, says hi to his tanks, and goes back to the afterlife.kidplasma: Rolled
6you march your feet in a rhythmic way and wave around bottles of spice, causing a massive sand worm to emerge from beneath your feet,
breaking a few of your bones! You throw the spice at the second tank and it follows, crushing the tank with its body and
dealing 97 damage!ZeUberMedic: Rolled
1You walk towards to fallout shelter, but trip over a rock. Falling down,
you lacerate yourself on the sawblades which TableSalt left carelessly lying around.
Rabbot32: Rolled
6You wake up from your short nap and pick up the stick which poked out shinyarceus’ eyes. In your hands, it transforms into the Spear of Longinus, which flies straight through the second tank, creating a gaping hole and
dealing 101 damage!crazies alt: Rolled
1 what is with this loving stream of 6s and 1s is random.org bipolar or something
You see a falcon flying through the air. You charge up a mighty uppercut and soar up to punch it!! As you fall back down with a very satisfied grin on your face, you hit the ground
and break all your bones.Microsoft EDGE: Rolled
5You clone yourself enough times to match the number of people it took to build the Great Wall of China, then work yourselves to death building a massive superbunker on top of the existing shelter,
giving it ridiculous amounts of protection from the ICBMs.
ADDITIONAL EFFECTS
A Satan II ICBM will arrive in 1 turn! It covers an area the size of France, so you might really want to take cover this time. A Tsar Bomba is being launched with it, be very afraid.An airstrike saturates the battlefield,
damaging all enemy tanks by 150!
Tiger II (beta)
HP:
144/1000 (Armor:
0/750)
Ratte's personal guard. Not too happy about being left behind.
Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte (incomplete)
HP: 1830/2000 (Armor:
0/1000)
The thousand-ton monster here to crush your hopes and dreams.
The Tiger IIs are protecting the Ratte! Kill them first if you want to hit it.The remaining Tiger II aims and fires!
It smacks Clownfish in the face for 2 damage, causing a very messy bloodstain on his wizard hat.The Ratte loads another round of shells into its guns...
PLAYERS:tber123:
3/3Twix:
weightlifter wannabe, shoulders broken [Flak Cannon active] [Shield HP: 3/3]Mr Queeba:
2/3Cybertails1998:
1/3 Big-ass umbrella 3/6NotBomberGuy:
3/3MoltenKitten:
3/3Space1255:
4/3 Clone health:
3/3Rabbot32:
2/3TristianLuigi:
3/3 cromartini:
2/3kidplasma:
1/3crazies alt:
2/3eboyblue10:
1/3 1/3 [Tactical Vest Equipped] Weaponized UCG's hatred
SubDaWoofer:
2/3Juncoph:
3/3CRITAWAKETS:
1/3Potatoh:
2/3Notorious B.I.G:
2/3 Hiding in fallout shelter
GrapeJellyToastMan:
SHRONK-man (1 turn remaining)Man of Greenish:
3/3Somemong:
1/3Nix the Glaceon:
2/3Redconer:
4/3JamesH:
1/3 Microsoft EDGE:
3/3Pngu12970:
3/3Deoxys And One Noob:
kablammoGojira:
3/3crazies alt:
punched a falconRigel:
2/3ZeUberMedic:
shredded to bits Malleo100:
3/3TableSalt:
instructions unclear, feet caught in flying sawblades RNJesus' blessing! 1 becomes 5 (1 turn remaining)Just M2:
2/3 Hiding in fallout shelter
shinyarceus4:
2/3Clownfish:
1/3ALLIES:}]Crazy[{‘s skeleton with Churchill’s soul:
4/3Tiger II: 2/5Engineer:
death by highest buttonMark. V Heavy:
3/3Daemon Prince:
3/3M2’s Howitzer:
3/3ZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer:
3/3Twix's Rototank:
3/3KV-2:
Destroyed by the PrecursorBUILDINGS:Amazon Prime TerminalTM:
3/3CRIT's Fortress:
3/3Mobile Command Center: 14/14
Fallout Shelter / Superbunker: 30/30
GrapeJellyToastMan's Compound: Destroyed by the Precursor
CRITAWAKET's P.S.V: freaking blammed itself
Poll