ATTACK RESULTS
slap pomp in the face for using triggered so much
Microsoft EDGE: Rolled
-739You try to slap me in the face, but your arm twists around and slaps you instead, while also gaining the strength of two hundred of Star Platinum’s punches. At the same time, your skull turns into tissue paper. The resulting self-mutilation leaves you a
lifeless puddle of goo which cannot be revived for 3 turns. Your goo weakly fires a rocket launcher at the tank for
1 damage. ZeUberMedic: Rolled
5You dial 911 into your phone. “Say no more” comes the reply, and a B-42 flies in, saturating the Ratte with napalm for
79 damage!TableSalt: Rolled
7 (assist +1)
You feel the rage of a thousand overworked tech support engineers fill your body! You are now MAD, and
all your attacks will deal triple damage for 3 turns! Also, by staring at the die in an intimidating fashion, you
prevent yourself from rolling 3 or less! Unfortunately, half your blood vessels rupture from the unbridled fury of customer support.
CRITAWAKETS: Rolled
1You Build 3 zapsats which fly around you. Due to a programming error, they recognize you as the enemy instead, and they each release all their energy in one blast before exploding,
vaporizing you on the spot.cromartini: Rolled
1You dab. You are
instantly mauled by hundreds of conservatives who are angered by your public display of indecency.
NotBomberguy: Rolled
3You throw pebbles at the tank, which bounce off harmlessly.
UltraCraftGames:
forget off, nobody likes youSpace1255: Rolled
6A staff flies down from heaven into your hands, and you feel a surge of power fill your body with magic! Holding up the staff, you
heal everyone who isn’t dead back to full health, crumbling the staff in the process.
Notorious B.I.G: Rolled
4You pop open your elbows and kneecaps, and missiles somehow fly out,
striking the tank for 56 damage! As your skin closes back, a passing surgeon wonders how the hell you did that.
SubDaWoofer: Rolled
5You explode again, sending your soul back to hell. Satan is pissed at the paperwork and performs a rising piledriver on your soul, sending your mortal body flying into the tank
for 80 damage! You’re dead, though.Redconer: Rolled
2You open a pod of peas and squeeze it as hard as you can. A single pea flies out, and is immediately snatched up by a German crewman,
who eats it happily.
ADDITIONAL EFFECTS
Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte (incomplete)
HP:
203/2000 (Armor:
0/1000)
The thousand-ton monster here to crush your hopes and dreams.
The Ratte loads its battleship cannons for what may be the last time…
PLAYERS:tber123:
3/3 Twix:
weightlifter wannabe, shoulders brokenMr Queeba:
3/3 Cybertails1998:
3/3 NotBomberGuy:
3/3 Rebuilding Amazon Prime Terminal,
will finish in 2 turnsMoltenKitten:
3/3 Space1255:
3/3Rabbot32:
3/3 TristianLuigi:
3/3cromartini:
look before you dabkidplasma:
3/3 crazies alt:
3/3 eboyblue10:
3/3 SubDaWoofer:
exploded himself Juncoph:
3/3 CRITAWAKETS:
can’t build zapsats worth stuffPotatoh:
3/3 Notorious B.I.G:
3/3GrapeJellyToastMan:
3/3Man of Greenish:
3/3 Somemong:
3/3 Nix the Glaceon:
3/3 Redconer:
4/3JamesH:
3/3 Microsoft EDGE:
tried to fight the GM Cannot be revived for 3 turnsPngu12970:
3/3 Deoxys And One Noob:
kablammoGojira:
3/3 crazies alt:
punched a falconRigel:
3/3 ZeUberMedic:
3/3 Malleo100:
3/3 TableSalt:
3/3 Got MAD (triple damage, cannot roll 3 or less) (3 turns left)Just M2:
2/3shinyarceus4:
3/3 Clownfish:
3/3 ALLIES:}]Crazy[{‘s skeleton with Churchill’s soul:
NUKEDTiger II:
NUKEDEngineer:
death by highest buttonTOG II:
4/4Daemon Prince:
NUKEDM2’s Howitzer:
NUKEDZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer:
NUKEDTwix's Rototank:
NUKEDKV-2:
Destroyed by the PrecursorBUILDINGS:Amazon Prime TerminalTM:
NUKEDCRIT's Fortress:
NUKEDMobile Command Center: NUKED
Fallout Shelter / Superbunker: Took too much abuse
GrapeJellyToastMan's Compound: Destroyed by the Precursor
CRITAWAKET's P.S.V: freaking blammed itself
Poll