The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[tber123]

> DRIFT AWAY FROM THAT GUY WHILE GETTING A GOOD LOOK AT HIM

You drift the cart away and narrowly avoid getting launched into space. As you do so, you realize that the moustache guy bears somewhat of a resemblance to your grandfather. Barely.

> GOLF CART JOUST WITH entrepreneur  STAFF

Another skill that you've been taught since childhood is coming in handy now! As the trenchcoat guy activates the rocket thrusters again and speeds towards your cart, you extend your entrepreneur  staff, move the cart to the side in the nick of time again, and smash the guy across the face as he passes by, causing him to lose control of the cart. The cart crashes into the river and promptly explodes.

Lightning flashes once again and you notice a half-dozen golf carts coming at you. The occupants are dressed in all black, wearing night vision goggles, and wielding suppressed pistols. As the golf carts get close enough to engage you, you notice a familiar red dot on your chest from an unseen sniper.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[Ad Bot]

[Refticus]

insult moustache again.
make sure you insult their weapons for being too small.
keep dishing out emotional crits.

[cromartini]

Wait...
This is a parallel universe ?
Holy stuff maybe grandpa is still alive so he can teach you the ultimate tehnique.

[tber123]

> DISH OUT INSULTS AGAIN

"You call those things guns? Those guns are smaller than the genitals of a puppy!" You shout out. The hostile golf cart occupants are gravely insulted by your accusations, and start shooting at you. Seeing as how this isn't working, you revert back to the moustache insults. "You call that a moustache? I call that a neckbeard! Start shaving, nerds!"

More (suppressed) gunfire rings out in retaliation. A bunch of bullets end up grazing you.

> WONDER IS GRANDPA IS STILL ALIVE

You think again about the guy that looked like your grandfather. Maybe you're in a parallel universe? Maybe grandpa is still alive, and can teach you an ultimate technique? Maybe... Just maybe...

As you stand there in the open pondering about grandfathers and parallel universes, the unseen sniper opens fire, hitting you square in the chest and snapping you back into reality. The sniper is preparing to fire again. Half a dozen golf carts are behind you, and the occupants are trying to kill you with silenced pistols

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are majorly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[Refticus]

what if it's the fukken disk they're after
refuse to give the disk over to them at any cost

[tber123]

> SHOUT OUT SOMETHING ABOUT REFUSING TO GIVE THEM THE DISK SINCE THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY AFTER IT

"You'll never get this nuclear authentication disk! You hear me? NEVER!" You scream back at your assailants. They do not respond to your bold statements with anything other than bullets. You take a bullet to the shoulder from one of the guys driving the golf carts, and then you take a bullet to the back from the sniper. Miraculously, you're still not dead yet.

Maybe these guys have a grudge against you for something you've done before in the past? They're probably after your life.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are near death. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>



[/quote]

[Refticus]

we're almost dead, pray for a miracle.

[tber123]

> PRAY FOR A MIRACLE

You clasp your hands together and start praying as the guys shooting you pause to reload. No miracle ever comes, and everyone finishes reloading. You take another round from the sniper, which kills you this time. Your lifeless corpse jerks violently and goes flying out of the golf cart in slow motion before crashing face-first into the nearby river, and then it starts sleeping with the fishes. And the security guard. And the moustache guy in a trenchcoat. And everyone else down at the bottom, too.


*** You have died. GAME OVER. ***
A sitting duck is an easy target to kill. Someone actively running away or trying to fight back would be harder to kill. Reloading autosave...

Half a dozen golf carts are chasing after you on the golf course. The occupants are wearing all-black, wearing NVGs, wielding suppressed pistols, and trying to kill you for some reason. There is an unseen sniper trying to shoot at you. Your entrepreneur ed out golf cart known as the Train has a bag full of golf clubs and balls that you could possibly throw at the drivers for some decent damage. Maybe they'll get hit in the eye, go blind, and crash into something, like the river. Or maybe each other.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are healthy. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[NotBomberguy]

roast them so hard their golf carts catch fire

[tber123]

> ROAST THEM UNTIL THEY CATCH ON FIRE

You deliver some sick roasts to the guys trying to kill you, even lapsing into Shakespearean roasts for double the emotional devastation. The only thing you accomplish is inspiring the guys chasing after you to try even harder to kill you now. Everyone around you opens fire, sending bullets flying everywhere. You should probably start actually doing something worth a damn instead of sitting on your ass and eating bullets like a masochist, you know.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are healthy. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[Refticus]

literally eat a bullet because you're a masochist

[Space1255]

Summon your waifu

[tber123]

> EAT A BULLET

You take out one of the bullets lodged in you from a previous job and devour it. Meanwhile, you're still getting shot at.

> SUMMON WAIFU

You try to summon the security guard by performing an ancient ritual. She fails to show up because she's dead due to going unconscious in the middle of a river and drowning. As bullets continue flying left, right, and center, you suddenly get a phone call.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are healthy. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[cromartini]

reply to the phonecall.

[Refticus]

answer phone call while masturbating