The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[Refticus]

steal their asses

[Ad Bot]

[Superfun909]

shankshankshankshankshankshank

[tber123]

> MOW THEM DOWN

More and more bullets bounce off of your armor as you raise your machinegun to fire. You let loose with a torrent of bullets, ripping every single lesser guard in the immediate vicinity to bloody shreds. Only the heavily armored guards are left, and now both you and the armored guards are exchanging bullets that are as lethal as flicked pebbles due to armor being worn by both sides. Bullet after bullet bounces off of every single combatant, you included.

This is gonna take a while. Even when the bullets hit you or someone else in the head, they don't do much damage. How unrealistically strong is this armor, anyways?

> STAB STAB STAB

You lunge at the guards and stab them with your switchblade.

The blade unfortunately breaks into several tiny pieces. Damn.

> STEAL ASSES

You spin a guard around and try to steal his buttocks with your bare hands. You're not strong enough to do that, and the guards are still wearing heavy armor like you. Bullets continue bouncing off of your armor as the guards constantly empty entire magazines into you.


To the north is the Augmentation Room.
To the west is the Armory and Security Station.
To the east are the cells.
To the south is the Special Prisoner Storage Unit. Grandpa ain't there.

> _

Your inventory contains some string, a rubber ducky, a Beretta Model 38 submachine gun, a Bodeo Model 1889 revolver, cell keys, Two medkits, Anti-robot rounds, a broken switchblade, a C4 Explosive, a bucket full of ice-cold water, a Fascist disguise, a MG34 machine gun, three frag grenades, and a nightstick.

You are wearing Fascist heavy armor + helmet, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.

You are lightly wounded.


>

[Space1255]

Scream "SONO CHI NO SADAME"
As you charge at them
Then scream "JOOOOOOOOOOOJOOO" as you punch the strongest guy in the face
Once that has been completed start wavedashing

[cromartini]

Snap their necks, if that doesnt work, loving spinkick them.

[Refticus]

retrieve the nuclear authentication disk from your starfish and hold a gun to it saying "if you shoot me again the disk gets it"

[tber123]

> SCREAM "SONO CHI NO SADAME"

You scream that out. The guards still shoot at you.

> CHARGE AND SCREAM "JOOOOOOOOJOOOOO" BEFORE ATTACKING

You lunge at the guards and let loose a scream before punching the biggest, strongest guard in the face. All that armor can't do stuff against good old blunt force trauma! The guard collapses to the floor, his brain still bouncing around in his skull and bruising itself. A ton of bullets bounce off of your armor in the process, but you're pretty much invincible with it on. Unless the guards punch you in the face. Which they're trying to do right now. You should be a teacher.

> WAVEDASH

You start sliding along the ground without running or walking first, dodging several bullets that your armor would have taken anyways.

> SNAP NECKS

A guard rushes at you with the intention of a good old face punch. You quickly grab his head and violently jerk it to the side with intense speed, snapping his neck. Somehow, the guard is still alive but in massive pain. Another guard rushes forward and tries to pull off a flying jump kick, but you simply catch his leg and slam him to the ground before also snapping his neck.

He survives, too. Also somehow. Another guard tries to punch your lights out, but you snap his neck like the rest of the guards. This one actually drops to the floor dead.

> SPINKICK

You unleash several spinning kicks to the rest of the heavily armored guards. The ones with their necks snapped are finished off by the deadly attack, and the rest are knocked to the floor.

> brown townLY EJECT NUCLEAR AUTHENTICATION DISK AND HOLD IT HOSTAGE

You whip out the nuclear authentication disk you always had lodged deep in your posterior and hold a gun to it. "Don't do it! This nuclear authentication disk is SUPERCHARGED! One bullet and we'll all die in a nuclear explosion!" You scream. The guards grudgingly stop shooting.

"You won't get away with this! Blue Meanie's gonna kill you next after he deals with your grandfather!" One of the fascist guards yell.


To the north is the Augmentation Room.
To the west is the Armory and Security Station.
To the east are the cells. Grandpa ain't there!
To the south is the Special Prisoner Storage Unit. Grandpa ain't there!

> _

Your inventory contains some string, a rubber ducky, a Beretta Model 38 submachine gun, a Bodeo Model 1889 revolver, cell keys, Two medkits, Anti-robot rounds, a broken switchblade, a C4 Explosive, a bucket full of ice-cold water, a Fascist disguise, a MG34 machine gun, three frag grenades, and a nightstick.

You are wearing Fascist heavy armor + helmet, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.

You are lightly wounded.


>

[KristoB]

die on the spot

[Refticus]

realise how much you've been shot, disable cartoon logic then die on the spot

[cromartini]

take off your armor and go into the augmentation room.
get one of those fancy shmacny cyborg augmentations like in metal gear.

[Bloo Kirby the 2nd]

shoot the nuclear authentication disk anyway

[tber123]

> SHOOT THE NUCLEAR AUTHENTICATION DISK

You plant a bullet into the nuclear authentication disk, causing a massive nuclear explosion that wipes out everything. You and the heavily armored guards survive the explosion, but get exposed to massive amounts of radiation. Everyone dies.

*** You have died. GAME OVER. ***
On the bright side, you've turned the Alps into a nuclear winter wonderland. Reloading autosave...


> TAKE OFF ARMOR AND GO INTO THE AUGMENTATION ROOM

You take off your heavy armor and helmet. Instantly, the guards raise their weapons and plant several bullets between your eyes.

> REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU GOT SHOT

Damn, that's a whole lot of lead between your eyes. How are you still alive?

> DISABLE CARTOON LOGIC AND DIE ON THE SPOT

Reality kicks in soon after you realize how much you've been shot. You instantly drop to the floor and die on the spot.

*** You have died again. GAME OVER. ***
At least things actually make sense now... But at what cost? Reloading autosave...

> GO INTO AUGMENTATION ROOM

You go into the augmentation room. The guards follow you in and keep a close eye on you. Grandpa ain't here.

> GET CHROMED UP

You find a nearby handy-dandy augmentation machine and step in. A robotic voice starts up and says "ERROR: Cannot augment subject if he is wearing clothes. Subject must strip down to his boxers."




To the north is the Augmentation Room. Grandpa ain't there!
To the west is the Armory and Security Station.
To the east are the cells. Grandpa ain't there!
To the south is the Special Prisoner Storage Unit. Grandpa ain't there!

> _

Your inventory contains some string, a rubber ducky, a Beretta Model 38 submachine gun, a Bodeo Model 1889 revolver, cell keys, Two medkits, Anti-robot rounds, a broken switchblade, a C4 Explosive, a bucket full of ice-cold water, a Fascist disguise, a MG34 machine gun, three frag grenades, and a nightstick.

You are wearing Fascist heavy armor + helmet, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.

You are lightly wounded.


>

[cromartini]

strip down and put all of your items into a safe. But save before you enter the augmentation room.

[Refticus]

reenable cartoon logic and bounce out of the window

[DELL]

Throw your grenades at the augment machine. Dann robots trying to tell us what to do!!