Author Topic: my parents bought me a book and I am insulted (Read 13150 times)

OrangeMan · January 06, 2017, 06:49:29 PM

why are you offended by asbergers? Now I'm offended too.

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Perry · January 06, 2017, 07:19:54 PM

Quote from: Tokthree on January 06, 2017, 06:35:04 PM

As someone with Asperger's I can tell you that this book is almost certainly useless for the simple reason that no one person with Asperger's Syndrome is the same as any other and therefore cannot be treated nor helped in the same way. The chances that the book was legitimately written by someone who has Asperger's syndrome is incredibly unlikely because anyone who has worked as hard as we have to in order to reach the point where our disability doesn't actually effect us would know how little they can help another person purely from their own experiences.

Plus, being told that you need to change who you are in order to accomplish anything is the most insulting thing I could possibly imagine. I became who I am and got where I am by accepting who I was and what made me who I was, not because I listened to what everyone around me told me to do which was to change myself in order to "cure" myself of the problems my Asperger's Syndrome caused me.

If you can't understand why this is at least a moderately insulting gesture, regardless of who you receive it from, then you don't have any right to be commenting on how someone with Asperger's Syndrome feels about something.

One of the key things that i'm noticing now and that's really showing is that you're both getting a little offended over a kind gesture, which i guess is a telltale sign of aspergers in this case.

Life isn't a cakewalk; there are things in life that some people lack called executive function, which is a telltale sign of aspergers. Based on the title, the book probably goes over a lot of important executive functions that are vital to learn if you actually want to survive in the real world without the shelter of parents. We have to do our taxes every month, and yeah it sucks, but none of us are saying 'this is insulting, you making me change my ways in order to conform to you!' because that's loving stupid. The book will probably go over things that you NEED to learn or else you'll end up homeless and broken, and if you choose to be offended by it and completely rub it in your parents face, it's you who will take the L.

On top of that, your parents went out of their way to buy something. It doesn't matter what it is or how offended you feel, they still did something in an act of kindness. When people do something with good intentions, you should at least acknowledge that and not be so upset.

Damp · January 06, 2017, 07:20:09 PM

Quote from: Drydess on January 06, 2017, 06:24:21 PM

i mean they bought u for 10 so i wouldn't get your hopes up so high

Guys I Am Being Bullied by DryDess. Let Us Fight Against Drydess In Mine Craft.

Tokthree · January 06, 2017, 08:11:59 PM

Quote from: Perry on January 06, 2017, 07:19:54 PM

One of the key things that i'm noticing now and that's really showing is that you're both getting a little offended over a kind gesture, which i guess is a telltale sign of aspergers in this case.

Life isn't a cakewalk; there are things in life that some people lack called executive function, which is a telltale sign of aspergers. Based on the title, the book probably goes over a lot of important executive functions that are vital to learn if you actually want to survive in the real world without the shelter of parents. We have to do our taxes every month, and yeah it sucks, but none of us are saying 'this is insulting, you making me change my ways in order to conform to you!' because that's loving stupid. The book will probably go over things that you NEED to learn or else you'll end up homeless and broken, and if you choose to be offended by it and completely rub it in your parents face, it's you who will take the L.

On top of that, your parents went out of their way to buy something. It doesn't matter what it is or how offended you feel, they still did something in an act of kindness. When people do something with good intentions, you should at least acknowledge that and not be so upset.

Your complete lack of any understanding regarding what it's like to have Asperger's syndrome leaves me with no desire to continue this discussion.

Also; just because they're your parents doesn't mean the things they say can't be insulting or hurtful. If you believe otherwise then you have no idea how much a parent's ignorance in regards to your condition can hurt

Perry · January 06, 2017, 08:20:22 PM

Quote from: Tokthree on January 06, 2017, 08:11:59 PM

Your complete lack of any understanding regarding what it's like to have Asperger's syndrome leaves me with no desire to continue this discussion.

Also; just because they're your parents doesn't mean the things they say can't be insulting or hurtful. If you believe otherwise then you have no idea how much a parent's ignorance in regards to your condition can hurt

But... that makes no sense. Because the parents give you something to help cope with your medical condition, they are wrong and are ignorant and want to hurt you? I'm sorry but that makes zero sense

do you ever consider the fact that maybe you and him having aspergers is resulting in you both being so stubborn and him being ungrateful?

Magus · January 06, 2017, 08:47:06 PM

Book title sounds insulting to me too.

Timestamp · January 06, 2017, 08:50:43 PM

Quote from: Perry on January 06, 2017, 08:20:22 PM

do you ever consider the fact that maybe you and him having aspergers is resulting in you both being so stubborn and him being ungrateful?

parents should understand how their son/daughter became who they were and become who they are right now and they should be accepting for that. parents should understand that you are lovely and great just the way you are and what you always were and they will have the will to protect you and your personality. giving them a book of how to live a life is not very accepting. being autistic is being special and different, not bad and a must-change.

everyone here is different, including OP. they shouldn't be judged regardless of who it is, parents don't always give spot-on advices and sometimes they do just as much mistakes as anyone else would do. that is part of a human being. i am not implying that what they did is a mistake but it's not a very wise action to just hold back on your honesty and just give them a book just because they think their son doesn't understand what they will say to him.

what tokthree was trying to say was that autistic people are, well, special and different, and i mean so is everyone else. trying to be passive-aggressive to your son by giving someone of how to live a life normally is not wise at all. that's someone telling you to be different.

if i told you that you can't stop shaking your leg harmlessly, like a soft shake, nothing annoying, and you do it, and someone tells you that's something you must change or stop doing the action, what would you say?

Freek · January 06, 2017, 08:54:33 PM

i agree with perry. i don't really see an issue with his parents giving him the book. if he reads it, good. it probably has some useful information, asperger's or not. if he doesn't, oh well. his parents aren't going to nail him to the cross. if I had autism and my mom bought me a book about my syndrome, i probably wouldn't care because it's not in a malicious manner. if the book were making fun of the disorder or something then sure that's wrong, but this book is DESIGNED for those with asperger's. it's not a new york times best seller, it's a 1 dollar book, get over it

Foxscotch · January 06, 2017, 09:00:25 PM

Quote from: Freek on January 06, 2017, 08:54:33 PM

if I had autism and my mom bought me a book about my syndrome, i probably wouldn't care because it's not in a malicious manner.

what if your mom bought you a book about living as a white person? not as a joke of some kind, but because she genuinely believed there was a problem to be solved?

Perry · January 06, 2017, 09:00:55 PM

Quote from: Timestamp on January 06, 2017, 08:50:43 PM

if i told you that you can't stop shaking your leg harmlessly, like a soft shake, nothing annoying, and you do it, and someone tells you that's something you must change or stop doing the action, what would you say?

what if your parents gave you a book titled "15 ways to stop your leg from shaking & live a better life." would you instantly feel insulted because they bought a book pertaining to an issue you have or would you be grateful that they care enough to help you address the issue

Freek · January 06, 2017, 09:02:28 PM

Quote from: Foxscotch on January 06, 2017, 09:00:25 PM

what if your mom bought you a book about living as a white person? not as a joke of some kind, but because she genuinely believed there was a problem to be solved?

if i didn't really agree with it, I simply wouldn't read it. i was bullied a lot as a kid and my mom bought me several "taking the bully by the horns" books and I would skim through the pages, think it was dumb, and move on. clearly it's not the same as a syndrome, but i never took offense because I knew she was only doing it because she cared about me.

Magus · January 06, 2017, 09:02:43 PM

What if the book were titled "Stop shaking your leg, duh."?

TheABELBOTO · January 06, 2017, 09:03:31 PM

I mean look a the description of the book and the topics it covers;

Quote

Clean Up Your Own Mess (including but not limited to credit card debt, out-of-control collections, and your cesspool of a room)

You Can�t Bail Out the Titanic with a Wine Glass (or change the world of online dating)

Serving as a Role Model to the Next Generation of Asperger's Syndrome

Navigating the challenges of college and the unrelenting storm of transition.

The Road to Catastrophe is Paved with Good Intentions (understanding how others perceive you, even if they�re wrong)

WIN (Work Is Necessary) You are talented enough to maintain employment even if your options are not ideal

Confronting Memories of Bullying and Showing Mercy toward Yourself

Why would your parents NOT give you a book like this? Op is a being a baby because his parents were straightforward that they're concerned about him.

Foxscotch · January 06, 2017, 09:04:53 PM

Quote from: Perry on January 06, 2017, 09:00:55 PM

what if your parents gave you a book titled "15 ways to stop your leg from shaking & live a better life."

you're (intentionally) trivializing it. your leg shaking is not a life altering disorder, and not one that nearly everyone you meet will think is something wrong with you

the problem is not just that his parents bought him a condescending book, but that his parents think he needs fixing
sure they meant well, but you'd think that after ~13 years or so they'd have learned some sensitivity

Whackin · January 06, 2017, 09:05:51 PM

does the book include directions for buying multiple illegal weapons and bringing them over borders