Author Topic: Help! My parents won't stay out of my business! (Read 5592 times)

foulprairiedog · May 29, 2017, 11:47:15 PM

Quote from: PhantOS on May 29, 2017, 11:38:37 PM

Monitoring an adolescent's online activity isn't being overprotective. Anything less than that is essentially negligence. You can literally google 'gore' right now and find pages upon pages of obscene content. if my daughter were to come across that stuff at 13 or 14 years old i would freak the forget out

any teen on the internet should already be jaded enough to not freak the forget out. constantly monitoring your kid to keep them "safe" from the horrors of the internet is bullstuff. it's not like they're gonna be traumatized for life by seeing a gif of somebody dying, or a picture of some meat. if anything, seeing gore makes you grow a thicker skin; maybe even make you want to become a doctor or nurse.

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Khaz · May 29, 2017, 11:48:35 PM

your parents own the house and own the internet you use, and are therefore allowed and have the right to do anything so much as it's not abusive or significantly detrimental to one's well-being. in this case it's a little over the top.

that being said, knocking wouldn't hurt too much. and the amount of monitoring or whatever they're doing on your accounts is beyond extra

otto-san · May 29, 2017, 11:48:59 PM

Quote from: PhantOS on May 29, 2017, 11:38:37 PM

children are not property but the internet you pay $50 a month for and their $400+ computer is definitely your property.

but their personal life is not. any extension of your child's life belongs to them, and regardless of who you are, nobody has business taking that away.

what OP's parents are doing is abusive. it insists that their child's feelings about what they are and aren't comfortable sharing are irrelevant, that the parents deserve to control and police their life. it shows that they completely lack trust and respect for them, and have no faith in their child's ability to act on their own. and these are things will have, and are having, a very direct negative impact on their child's life. because people don't willingly surrender their life over to authoritarian figures. they find ways to hide their life and guard it, learning not trusting anyone else with that information. children with parents that do these things ultimately fall victim to the same complexes that bring parents to do these things in the first place.

Quote from: PhantOS on May 29, 2017, 11:45:40 PM

the internet is a privilege and you should be grateful that you're even allowed to use it so liberally.

this is a poor way to view these sorts of things. you can't excuse abusive action by saying it could be worse. that's how abusers excuse their behavior and it is incredibly unhealthy.

foulprairiedog · May 29, 2017, 11:50:56 PM

Quote from: otto-san on May 29, 2017, 11:48:59 PM

what OP's parents are doing is abusive. it insists that their child's feelings about what they are and aren't comfortable sharing are irrelevant, that the parents deserve to control and police their life. it shows that they completely lack trust and respect for them, and have no faith in their child's ability to act on their own. and these are things will have, and are having, a very direct negative impact on their child's life. because people don't willingly surrender their life over to authoritarian figures. they find ways to hide their life and guard it, learning not trusting anyone else with that information. children with parents that do these things ultimately fall victim to the same complexes that bring parents to do these things in the first place.
this is a poor way to view these sorts of things. you can't excuse abusive action by saying it could be worse. that's how abusers excuse their behavior and it is incredibly unhealthy.

exactly. it's like reading your kid's diary, or reading their texts. it's a blatant invasion of privacy that will eventually lead to further trust issues later in life.

PhantOS · May 29, 2017, 11:52:14 PM

Quote from: otto-san on May 29, 2017, 11:48:59 PM

but their personal life is not. any extension of your child's life belongs to them, and regardless of who you are, nobody has business taking that away.

what OP's parents are doing is abusive. it insists that their child's feelings about what they are and aren't comfortable sharing are irrelevant, that the parents deserve to control and police their life. it shows that they completely lack trust and respect for them, and have no faith in their child's ability to act on their own. and these are things will have, and are having, a very direct negative impact on their child's life. because people don't willingly surrender their life over to authoritarian figures. they find ways to hide their life and guard it, learning not trusting anyone else with that information. children with parents that do these things ultimately fall victim to the same complexes that bring parents to do these things in the first place.
this is a poor way to view these sorts of things. you can't excuse abusive action by saying it could be worse. that's how abusers excuse their behavior and it is incredibly unhealthy.

alright after reading this i see what you're saying. i can't say i'd change the way i parent from this paragraph, but it can definitely be viewed as abuse or overprotection

Insert Name Here� · May 29, 2017, 11:53:07 PM

Path believes constantly invading and creeping on your kids pirvacy 24/7 is okay apparently

Nonnel · May 29, 2017, 11:55:45 PM

Quote from: foulprairiedog on May 29, 2017, 11:50:56 PM

exactly. it's like reading your kid's diary, or reading their texts. it's a blatant invasion of privacy that will eventually lead to further trust issues later in life.

this is also true. invading your child's privacy is just going to make them not trust you, as well as make them a better liar.

Khaz · May 29, 2017, 11:55:58 PM

Quote from: Insert Name Here� on May 29, 2017, 11:53:07 PM

Path believes constantly invading and creeping on your kids pirvacy 24/7 is okay apparently

No, he believes that as a parent he has the right to make sure that his children are in a correct state of mind especially on the internet. Which can involve routine monitoring of internet/other activities.

PhantOS · May 29, 2017, 11:57:49 PM

Quote from: Insert Name Here� on May 29, 2017, 11:53:07 PM

Path believes constantly invading and creeping on your kids pirvacy 24/7 is okay apparently

INH comes out of the woodwork to strawman and provide nothing of value to the conversation

Insert Name Here� · May 30, 2017, 12:10:06 AM

Quote from: PhantOS on May 29, 2017, 11:57:49 PM

INH comes out of the woodwork to strawman and provide nothing of value to the conversation

fallacy fallacy

otto-san · May 30, 2017, 12:12:06 AM

i don't tend to agree with sheltered parenting practices, cus the ends to me don't justify the means. if you mystify something so much, you're just going to create a fascination for it. i can't protect my kids forever, and i don't want to try to. tracking what they do online doesn't help them in that regard anyways. all it does is leave evidence. then again, i have no interest in making sure my kids think ~~research~~ love (edited to broaden this since this is more accurate) and swears are immoral, so long as they understand that they aren't socially accepted (which is very very easy for people to pick up on, especially kids, even with just one social experience that gives them that impression), and trying to enforce a moral system onto your children is one of the more major reasons this monitoring is done

IkeTheGeneric · May 30, 2017, 12:12:48 AM

I feel for you on point two. My dad somehow found my forum username, I think. If you're reading this dad, forget off mate, let a brother post in peace ya dig?

Shift Kitty · May 30, 2017, 03:15:17 AM

Quote from: Insert Name Here� on May 30, 2017, 12:10:06 AM

fallacy fallacy

The 'fallacy fallacy' is also a fallacy in itself. Doing nothing but saying just that is a useless post.
If you however, made any point within the correct context to any point in his post, then there would've been some use.

Nonnel · May 30, 2017, 03:19:56 AM

explaining the fallacy fallacy is a fallacy

Shift Kitty · May 30, 2017, 03:23:31 AM

Quote from: Nonnel on May 30, 2017, 03:19:56 AM

explaining the fallacy fallacy is a fallacy

Is it though? It's an actual point being made rather than just tossing '_____ fallacy!' in and calling it a day.