Since lego lad seems pretty genuine about this I'll try to break down all your concerns as best as possible and ignore the other stupidity flying around this thread.
one side of me says that if a guy is feminine or a girl masiculine, thats fine. they can just be a feminine guy/masculine girl and thats that, no need for a surgery or anything serious.
Plenty of trans people are actually just fine this way. How much a trans person wants to move their gender presentation in one direction or another and the means by which they want to achieve it is unique to them.
Another part of me however remembers reading that going though with the switch is the healthiest treatment for being trans, so i guess thats that?
Correct, transitioning is statistically the safest and most effective treatment of gender identity issues. How that person decides to transition is of course all up to them, so it may or may not include surgical intervention or even hormones.
but if it causes them to go into insta sad mode anytime someone brings up the truth, maybe it isnt so great?
The end goal of transitioning usually is that they 'pass' and nobody questions their gender anymore and it becomes a complete non-issue. Also, this is why it's often necessary for newly transitioning trans people to cut people out of their lives who refuse to acknowledge them as the gender they feel comfortable as. If needed they build a new social circle that only knows them as their new gender. Additionally, many trans people aren't actually bothered by this enough to need any action.
like maybe its better to just accept the love u were born as and grow from it, but maybe trans ppl just cant?
Relatives of trans people often think this way too, but the truth is that doing nothing just causes self loathing and other feelings of unease to build up over time. It's not safe to leave untreated. Transitioning almost always relieves those feelings.
another thought i had about it was that it kinda reminds me of ppl who spend tons of money on plastic surgery, chasing some perfect image they imagine themselves as, unable to accept they way they look instead. they damage their natural, valuable, healthy and functioning body to look and feel better about themselves, but if they just learned to accept reality then they'd be better off is that im getting at. just seems kinda... wrong? unhealthy?
Self image issues are definitely an epidemic among trans people. Gender therapists will usually help guide trans people through these and help them realize that they don't need to look like supermodels to 'pass'. That said though, there are plenty of things that are completely reasonable to modify in order to adjust essential gender-defining traits. Hormone therapy is extremely effective and far safer than the risks of self harm that come from leaving themselves untreated. Surgeries are expensive but also extremely safe and very effective at what they do, though they're a lot less common than just hormone therapy. Many trans people never feel the need to have surgery to feel satisfied with their transition.
but in my own opinion, a life where u accept what u are and keep it that way sounds a lot more enjoyable than changing it and sacrificing the valuables that it came with.
Again, all trans people have unique experiences, expectations, and desires. For most, the downsides of what they must sacrifice from their current life and rebuilding to transition are insignificant to the overall happiness they gain from being transitioned.