The stuffty Superpower Game v4

[fuzzytoastedcoconut]

But you pee red because you drink so much



I get power of bullying kids

[Ad Bot]

[jackrobbman]

A nerdy man-child picks you up and breaks you in half when he sees you picking on kids. As you spend the rest of your life paralyzed in a hospital bed, you lament thinking that becoming a bully would make you feel better and realize that you were only making the bullies that bullied you into bullying feel justified in their actions. 



The ability to become Chuck Norris

[8hbc]

But you become a 3 year old Chuck Norris

The power to memorize an entire textbook the night before a test

[cromartini]

You can memorize entire textbooks, but in return you completly forget something else

The power to ressurect the dead

[jackrobbman]

You singlehandedly cause a zombie apocalypse.

The power to solve any murder case in seconds.

[failbros2]

when you solve a case, another person gets murdered, leading to a quick chain of murders that only result in more people dying if solved

ability to summon a ghost to play a song for you with any instrument

[jackrobbman]

The ghost loudly plays Never Gonna Give You Up with a kazoo nonstop until you decide to violently rupture your own ear-drums by clapping your ears repeatedly.


The ability to play any instrument perfectly without ever having to learn.

[foulprairiedog]

you can now hear all the imperfections in other people's music and can never enjoy music again.

ability to sleep immediately instead of lying awake in bed for hours

[maxymax13]

you can sleep well, but every matress or sleeping surface will feel like a sack full of moving, vibrating roosterroaches. you will have to endure that feeling

ability to have a spine that is straight instead of Gamer Neck

[8hbc]

you have crooked toes and fingers

the ability to take over anyone's body in the world at will

[maxymax13]

you can, but if you ever stop taking over that body or take over another body, the person whose body you took over will be filled with a sense of hatred and will be given your name and location at all times, every time you take someone over you are adding another enemy with a target on your back

get free wifi anywhere i go

[Goth77]

It's the slowest wifi ever, top notch 1G speeds on a good day. On the plus side, it is free

spontaneously materialize objects

[failbros2]

they will hurtle at you at mach 5 speeds around 10 miles away, you better prepare

pyrokinesis (i can make fire with my mind)

[Metalliku]

you have no control over where the fire will end up and there's a high chance you will burn or explode something even if it wasn't your intention

the power to manipulate tv broadcasts with whatever comes to my mind

[cromartini]

You can manipulate TV broadcasts with whatever comes to your mind. You can't turn this ability off so when you are lying in bed at 1 am remembering something extremely embarassing, that is broadcasted onto live TV.

The ability to become a charismatic leader