Q: What's long and black?A: The unemployment line.Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?A: Two in the front, three in the back, and six million in the ash tray.Q: What's the difference between car tires and mondays?A: Car tires don't sing when you put them in chains.Q: There's a canoe and a monday in a river, what's the difference between the two?A: The canoe is floating.Q: There's a dead dog in the road and a dead monday in the road, what's the difference between the two?A: There's skid marks behind the dog.A priest and a rabbi are at a party, the priest walks up to the rabbi and says "Shannon brought some delicious home-made ham. When are you finally going to lighten up and eat some pork?" the rabbi simply smiles and says "At your wedding."A man dies and goes to heaven, behind Saint Peter's desk is a giant wall of one handed clocks with names under each; each one turning every once in a while. The man asks, "Hey, what are those clocks for?" Saint Peter says "These are lie clocks, every time you lie the hand moves." As the man looks upon this giant wall of clocks, he notices one is missing, "Hey," the man says, "Where is President Obama's clock?" Saint Peter answers, "Oh, Jesus is using it as a ceiling fan in his office."Q: What's the difference between Batman and mondays?A: Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's a monday.
So a girl walks up to her mom,The girl asks, "MOTHER, why is my name Rose?"MOTHER says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."Another girl walks in and says, "MOTHER, why is my name Daisy"MOTHER says "Because when you were born, a Daisy fell on your head"The next little girl said "ARFGALHBARGHRA"And the MOTHER said, "Shut the forget up, Cinderblock"
A duck walks into a bar buys a beer and says put it on my tab! *Bu Dum Dum*
What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff?AvalancheWhat do you call a bunch of black people falling off a cliff?MudslideWhat do you call a bunch of Mexicans falling off a cliff?JailbreakWhats the difference between a table and an Indian?One can support a family
Fixed.
“Capitalization is the difference between ‘I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse’ and ‘I helped my uncle jack off a horse.”And finally, I have a great knock-knock Joke. You start...
guy: "whats on your head, jimmy?"jimmy: "i dont know, but i think my brain is gone"guy: "but you can't lose what you never had!"ha.....hahaha.....ha...h...a. ...
that is NOT UNFUNNY!
