Hey guys, decided to use this on someone who I think fits the description of a 12-year-old-AOLer quite well:
COMPLEX STATISTICALY IMPROBABL3 THNGS R BY THERE NATUR3 MORA DIFICULT 2 AXPLANE THAN SIMPLE STATISTICALY PROBABL3 THNGS
FATEH!!!!1 LOL SI DA GR3AT COP-OUT TEH GREAT 3XCUES 2 EVAED TEH NED 2 THINK AND 3VALUAET EVIEDNCE!111!!1 WTF FATEH SI BLEIF IN SPIET OF 3VEN P3RHAPS B/C OF TEH LAK OF AVIEDNC3
FOR!!11! OMG WTF TEH FIRST HALF OF G3OLOGICAL TIEM OUR ANC3S2RS WER3 BACT3RIA!!111 MOST CREATUR3S STIL R BACT3RIA AND EACH ONE OF OUR TRILIONS OF CELS SI A COLONY OF BACTERIM AGANEST RELIGION B/C IT TEACHES US 2 B SATISFEID WIT NOT UNDERSTANDNG TEH WORLD
IT!11!1 OMG WTF LOL HAS BCOMA ALMOST A CLICHE 2 RAMARK TAHT NOBODY BOASTS OF IGNORANCE OF LIETRATURE BUT IT SI SOCIALY ACEPTABL3 2 BOAST IGNORANCA OF SCEINC3 AND PROUDLEY CLAME INCOMP3TANC3 IN MATHEMATIS
TH3!!11!11 LOL FACT TAHT LIEF EVOLVED OUT OF N3ARLEY NOTHNG SOMA 10 BILION YEARS AFTER DA UNIEVRS3 AVOLVED OUT OF LIETRALY NOTHNG SI A FACT SO STAG3RNG TAHT I WUD B MAD 2 ATEMPT WORDS 2 DO IT JUSTIEC!11!111! OMG
TH3 TH3ORY OF EVOLUTION BY CUMULATIEV NATURAL S3LACTION SI DA ONLEY THEORY WA KNOW OF TAHT SI IN PRINCIPLE CAPABLA OF EXPLANENG TEH EXISTANC3 OF ORGANIEZD COMPLEXITY!!!!!!1!1 LOL
THA UNIEVRS3 WE OBSARVE HAS PRACIESLEY DA PROP3RTEIS W3 SHUD EXP3CT IF THEYRE IS AT BOTOM NO D3SIGN NO PURPOSA NO EVIL NO GOD NOTHNG BUT BLIND PITIELS INDIF3RANCA!1!!1!1
I have to say, especially without the translation, this guy certainly does a great job of digging his own grave.