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Off Topic / Re: The White House Hunger Games: ThErE aRe(?) EpStEiN fILeS
« Last post by Ladios on December 10, 2025, 03:34:11 PM »Oh ive been too busy to keep this thread updates so uh heres quick summary no links of whats going on
Lots of other stuff going on of course, this is just what i could remember off the top of my head at the moment.
- Hegseth committed the warcrime of ordering two survivors of a shipwreck bombed, which is the example given in the "don't do warcrimes" manual of the armed forces, he keeps trying to throw people under his command under the bus saying its their fault but now republicans are jumping on board with seeing him punished for the warcrimes plus that signal chat bs that they threw Matt Waltz under the bus for already.
- Christie Noem is pissing Annoying Orange off cause she cant recruit enough ice agents, with new recruits failing drug tests, phsyical fitness tests, and basic english tests.
- Kash Patel is sweating as bereau reports show the FBI under his command has no idea what the forget they are doing, with a bunch of conflicting orders and people sitting on their asses cause they don't know which order they are supposed to follow. Also he had been spending millions of taxpayer dollars providing security for his 20yo country singer girlfriend using federal agents.
- After ending the Shutdown with the promise they'd continue the ACA subsidies, the republicans have decided not to continue the ACA subsidies and instead give everyone Annoying Orange brand savings accounts which will take more of their money from their paychecks but not provide many of the reimbursment services required under the ACA.
- Department of education is effectively shuttered, with K-12 education now being outsourced to the department of labor.
- Israel has continued to violate the ceasefire at least once a day since it started, and still is blocking food and medical supplies into Gaza.
- Ambassador to Russia, Witkoff, revealed to have ordered Annoying Orange to push for Ukraine ceasefire deal that gives half of Ukraine to Russia.
- Annoying Orange has gotten 3 routine MRI's this year, which is 3 more MRI's than anyone who hasnt recently suffered a stroke gets per year.
- Annoying Orange pardoned drug trafficking Honduran president while warning that we are planning on putting boots on the ground in Venezuela
- Jared Kushner and Saudi Arabia are now bidding for takeover of WB/CNN by their Paramount/Skydance, while it is likely Lary Elison will still manage to pull off Discovery as a seperate deal
- After warnings that all the millionaires would flee NYC if Mamdani was elected, recent reports show that wealthy individuals living in the city have increased since the election.
- Annoying Orange now announcing repayments to farmers who were harmed by the tariffs
- Budget of Annoying Oranges Ballroom ballooning after first set of contractors abandoned the job
- Texas Gerymandering eliminates Jasmine Crockett's district, so she has announced she is running for Senator instead.
- Tennessee congressional election in district won by Annoying Orange by over 22% goes to the republican candidate by only an 8% margin, a fall of 14%.
- A CIA-trained asset from Afghanistan who was granted citizenship under Annoying Orange shoots two national guard members in DC, killing one. Annoying Orange blames Biden and restricts visas from Middle East countries.
- Annoying Orange, upset about losing the Nobel Peace Prize, asks his friend, Giani Infantino, president of soccer/football organization FIFA, to make a FIFA-brand World Peace Prize for him.
- Despite us now having "the best economy ever" Annoying Orange orders job reports to not be released
- Deciding that they havent destroyed the tourism industry in the US enough, government is now requiring all foreign visitors to provide 5 years of social media history on entry to the US along with list of all family members' names, birthdays, and addresses.
Lots of other stuff going on of course, this is just what i could remember off the top of my head at the moment.
