My snake is bleeding!

[Sebster 105]

In the future, use your loving hand. I mean? What the hell? Further more if your pissing blood see a god damn doctor, if you don't want to tell him you were jacking, make up an excuse ahead of time.

"I was sorta... carving... something.... my hand slipped and I dropped the knife on mah snake!

[Ad Bot]

[MrMulch]

That works I would suppose.

But don't be a jackass and try to make a joke out of it.

[IsaacKronenFaust]

In the future, use your loving hand. I mean? What the hell? Further more if your pissing blood see a god damn doctor, if you don't want to tell him you were jacking, make up an excuse ahead of time.

"I took out my richard, and it hit a spike."

{[Guess where that's from]}

[Darkhawk]

Holy stuff, nice job ex lax :D
If you are seriously pissing blood, i would just keep the bandages on, if it happens again then i would suggest going to the hospital.
Also,
After it heals and its all scabby, don't get a boner, that stuff gonna hurt!
Why weren't you using your hand? So much easier, i currently don't have a jar big enough in my house that has a constant shape, so no flesh lights for me, thank god :3

[MrMulch]

Use a carrot

[Frontrox]

Strange..... No troll.jpg yet....

[IsaacKronenFaust]

Use a carrot

Warioware, shove up yo own aiass game.

[SupremeCommander]

If he is uncircumcised, then using the foreskin to avoid chafing with the hand is easy.

[Darkangel]

This topic makes me both cringe and laugh.  I suppose you had this coming though, you just don't masturbate with a tuna jar.

I see what you did there

[SupremeCommander]

I see what you did there

Because someone would have to had taken a potato peeler to your eyes for you to not to.

[Chriz]

Strange..... No troll.jpg yet....

That one?

[ryu hayabusa]

Im going to laugh so hard if someone from your school finds out about this and starts calling you names.

[tails]

If your not trolling, You're a complete handicap.

[Evo Chief]

Well you have it partially cut off, just finish it.

[Deathwishez]

How about instead you go see a loving doctor?

I'd make up some viable excuse as to how I cut my richard with glass.

I'd probably say something like this:

"I ate tuna before taking a shower, and I set the jar up on a shelf. When I got out of the shower, I slipped on something, and my hand hit the jar as I was falling, and it landed on my richard and shattered."

This way, the embarrasment of masturbating is gone.