I see that you said you let things
Build up until you break
. This is not the right idea, you need to let all the thing be vented out of your system every once in aw bit, just don't let everything just build up. Smoke some weed, it really actually does help, AS LONG as you do something you can put your mind to afterwords, because if you do nothing after you smoke, youll think about how you relax your mind by doing an illegal drug, which will lead to more depression. Another thing that can help you is just approach your mom, and have an organized talk with her, just saying to her that you've been seeing her really not care about you anymore. She might not even know that she is being abusive, and you just need to let her know that she doesn't show that she cares about her son. Keep your chin up, just DONT GIVE UP on your life, you can still make such a difference in the world, just don't let all the small stuff get your down, your that master of your own fate. Be happy with what you
do have, and don't look at the bad side of things so much. Remember this quote "I was an unhappy man because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet."