dude if i get enough i could (possibly) just buy it for you
ZEALOT YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOIN HEARE
I was visiting a friend at his college apartment. After a long night of partying I had to get up early to drive home (2 hours) for another friends wedding. During the night, while I was wasted one of the household roommates had borrowed my keys to move my car and never returned them.
While the sun rose on the horizon, I was sifting through my memory of where my keys might be. Then it occurred to me that I had given them to the roommate. I headed to his room. Knock once. Knock twice. Knock thrice. No response. So I peak inside and he's asleep on the bed. I yell his name. He doesn't wake up. One more time. Still no response. So I realize that I have to search his room, otherwise I'm never going to make it to the wedding.
As I enter the room, I hear him breathing so I know he's not dead, just out cold. I look around his room. Check his desk, his dresser, around the floor. I see his pants in a ball at the end of the bed. I check the pockets ... Alas, no keys. So I realize I have to wake him up. I am enlightened to the humor of my situation as I take full stock of the scene.
The roommate is passed out on the bed, cradling a bottle of hand lotion with his left arm, and his right hand is still wrapped around his package. Apparently, he never made it through his spank session before passing out.
So I'm left with this question ... How the hell do I get my keys back, without touching him, or letting him know I've seen the situation.
I look around the room, and find a blanket on a chair. In my best matador style, I fling the blanket across him and exit the room as quickly as possible. As I shut the door, I start banging on the door as loud as possible, and yelling his name, telling him I'm coming in whether he likes it or not.
As I open the door, he curls himself up in the blanket and looks at me. "What!?!?" he yells, more embarrassed than angry.
"I need my keys, you have them."
"Give me a minute"
I shut the door. A few seconds later the door opens up, his right hand pops out holding the keys.
^ clickable ^