the blockland story!

[Svenne]

Then bob got mad and built a machine that made him into a...
Blockhead!

[Ad Bot]

[chaseyqurt]

lockpls, this story makes pretty much no sense at all.

[MegaScience]

Once upon a time, there were 3 noobs. A daddy noob, a mommy noob, and a baby noob. One day, after a violent fight when daddy noob came back drunk, mommy and baby noob were forced into the car and daddy noob drove off. While they were away, some little blond slut wondered into their home. She was very high and decided to eat the food left on the table, hoping it'd help with her extreme nauseous. After trying the first bowl, she vomited into the other 2 bowls. Then, still delirious, she pooped in the one she ate from and stumbled into the closet, passing out. When the daddy noob came home, the badly beaten mommy noob ran into a small room with baby noob and locked the door. Daddy noob, knowing the food was still on the table, casually dumped the contents of all 3 bowls into one big bowl and gulped it down. It was then that he noticed what he ate. He began to projectile vomit and stumbled, smashing his head into the corner of the counter hard enough to kill him. Mommy noob, hearing this, came out and saw the scene. She then noticed the slightly open closet door and found the slut. Knowing it must have been her who caused this, she gave the slut $50,000 from daddy noobs insurgence. The noob family now lives in piece and the slut used all the money on drugs, ofcourse killing her.

The End.

[DrMobius]

No noobs were harmed in the making.  But the slut really died.

[Ethan]

...Apart from daddy noob.........

[Roland]

(NEW STORY) A Bob was walking across the road, he looks left and sees a hummer about to hit him....

[Shadow86]

...Then he lay down just underneath where the hummer's underparts barely tore off his shirt, thus leaving only his cargo shorts, socks n shoes, and underwear on his body. A few neighbors were staring, then...

[Roland]

... Bob gets up, after the hummer has driven away, and goes on the foot-path, he sees the hummer crushing his best friend, a Marshall guitar Amp.
Bob screams ''NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! my only friend, my purperse in the world life is useless.''
So Bob mounts a random helicopter and flies to the alpine in europe in 10 seconds, somehow. He gets the helicopter at full speed then just before it hits a mountain he jumps out and releases a parashoot, a dog with wings flies to him and gets ready to maul Bob....

[FireMan]

And then bob's parachute fails! is falling towards certain doom, when suddenly...

[Roland]

......a completely random thing happens, a matress apears out of nowhere and Bob falls on it then.....

[Minion]

Bob misses the matress and dies.

[Wedge]

At least, that's what you'd expect. What happened was this:

As everyone knows, when you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. It's basic quantum physics. Given the chance to witness his life replayed in third person, Bob suddenly realized that the passport he picked up in Venice in '86 wasn't his at all- it belonged to the woman behind him in the line. He was so surprised* that he missed the ground entirely, and was now floating about 2 feet above the ground.

*He was rather distraught that he left the woman stranded in a foreign country. What he didn't know, and he was incredibly lucky, was that she was an assassin hired out to kill him. When he picked up her passport, which he had mistaken for his own, she was stopped at customs. Since she didn't have her passport on her, they ran a quick background check, found out she was wanted in several countries for suspected murder, and detained her for questioning. She was later executed somewhere in South America by a firing squad, on a completely unrelated set of charges that she was actually innocent of.

[oromis]

Bob ponders the amazing floating act as he realizes that he felt a small pull in both his shoes, both his pockets, and a larger tug in his head. He then looks down to notice that there must have been a big magnet under the ground, and he had 2 North polarity nail clippers in his shoes, 2 north polarity condoms in his pockets (you never know), and half a north polarity brain (the other half was severely damaged when the same thing happened to him when he was 9. the matress was filled with rocks then though.

[Minion]

What you don't know is that the woman that was "executed" somewhere in south america, wasn't executed at all. She escaped using tons of high tech weapons(to lazy to describe). Shes still alive and she has a sniper rifle aiming at bob right now. So then she fires and the bullet...

[tails]

At least, that's what you'd expect. What happened was this:

As everyone knows, when you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. It's basic quantum physics. Given the chance to witness his life replayed in third person, Bob suddenly realized that the passport he picked up in Venice in '86 wasn't his at all- it belonged to the woman behind him in the line. He was so surprised* that he missed the ground entirely, and was now floating about 2 feet above the ground.

*He was rather distraught that he left the woman stranded in a foreign country. What he didn't know, and he was incredibly lucky, was that she was an assassin hired out to kill him. When he picked up her passport, which he had mistaken for his own, she was stopped at customs. Since she didn't have her passport on her, they ran a quick background check, found out she was wanted in several countries for suspected murder, and detained her for questioning. She was later executed somewhere in South America by a firing squad, on a completely unrelated set of charges that she was actually innocent of.

Sorry to break this topic, but that was awesome :D