You let that Butch kid eat your cinnamon roll?
What a push over, no wonder your dad left you.
It's okay, I let the roaches eat his mom. That'll teach him for stealing our only desert. Then I came across Armata and her dad who were in some fight. The cop was about to beat her, so I shot him then as well as her father in self defense. Armada wasn't too happy when I showed her his head as my war trophy; I'm not apologizing for that either. So I left and began my journey to find Oscar Schindler.
On my journey though I came across a bizarre town where I was greeted by some lazy starfish asking for water. I got him some water from a old rusty sink, but he complained to me that it wasn't pure enough. I told him to get a job and left. I was greeted by a robot who opened the door to a decently protected town. Sheriff was pretty nice and let me in. So after walk I found out these morons built their town around a big ass bomb. I disarmed it when the preacher wasn't looking and called him a dumb ass. Sheriff Mayor dude gave me an empty house, guess only I am cable of disarming bombs. Makes you wonder how long people have survived out here. Water that is both dirty and radiated, animals that try to eat you back and loaded with rad, people seem to live off old expired and radiated food despite. Makes you wonder why everyone hasn't died of cancer yet or mutated. Come to think of it I hadn't seen any crops outside or inside the city. How have they lived so long without starving? Guess their guts are more evolved than may to filter radiation and deadly food bacteria.
Met an Irish dude and some old guy who sent me on a plumbing job, we'll call him
Dock. Ran into an autistic ginger lady who to this day I swear is going to get us all killed. Bought some stuff like guns since every one seems to carry out here. When I got to my house some strange spirit possessed my decorate my house. I spent hours trying to perfectly align food items on my only shelf by the beat up couch. I also ran into the twin brother of the Dock who we'll call
Shop who was a registered tea party member who introduced me to the radio where President Theodore Roosevelt had been reincarnated and gave his fire side chats. Not sure how people are able to call him though or where he lived since in vault school they taught us the bombs wiped out everything.
The next day I began my journey looking for clues on where to find Schindler's list. I tried some run down neighborhood where I met a hobo trying to snipe me. The rifle made nice caps, The man should have really spent his caps on farming equipment instead of land mines and rifle bullets. He probably could have kept his clothes too rather than sell him. He was pretty much in rags when I murdered him on top of that tower.
Traveled in some random direction. Found a lake by a wrecked highway over pass. Found a barn with some dead two headed cattle things by the road. I decided to investigate the bridge since apparently the way was open, however I almost got blown up by Dock and Shop's other brother
Bushi. Bushi told me their small shanty got attacked by a group called the Family who I guess is the local Mafia that hangs out this highway overpass. Some Girl told me to look for her Brother Ian West, which is fun because I knew an Ian back in California who always had a bad habit of accidently shooting me with his SMG. Apparently this family liked to ground during the day and only came out at night. They also liked to drink blood for some reason, reminded me of the only movie our holotape player had called Twilight. Because this I was immediately triggered and proceeded to kill everyone of them with a with a stake to the heart with some rail way rifle that I crafted with a tube of tooth paste and a bicycle pump. Apparently killing vampires is a bad thing, guess some cougars were saw me do it and cried in a near by bush. I saved Ian who then called me a murder and a jackass for killing his vampire buddies. I was also paid apparently to bring him a later. After him having read it I put his vampire ass out of its misery and torched the body so that he can rejoin his dead family in Valhalla. Apparently Bushi hated the idea of killing vampires as well.
Many merchants and encounters later ran into a sad looking suburb inhabited by young adults. They had their own castle with a moat, pikes, and junk wall. It even had a man with body armor at the bridge to great me. Apparently his man was freaking out about mutant attacks. Saved some kids from these giant green NBA players Then tought the kids how to defend themselves. I evened used the hobos land mines to fortify the town and shot at the mutants. After that I found that these guys had put had nothing to offer since the idea of growing crops had not occurred to them. Apparently they come from some place inhabited by Juvies.
I tried looking for Schindler in the Ruins of the city, but I came across some ant infested town with a bratty kid. Squished the ants and removed their queen from the board like a rook. Some sponge bob/Farnsworth scientist dude wasn't too happy that I had ruined his experiment. He was also claimed that he was responsible for the creation of these deadly ants. After demanding tribute for sparing his life he gave me the strength of the ant god. Was a good bargain because it was either that or he had to raise the kid. I left there to go in search of Liam Nelson.
Found some merchants who took me a town on the outskirts of the world. Ran into great descendant of a deception and iron man going against the false ant queen. I wasted the ants and told the Ant Bitch that I was the one true ant ruler and the Robot dude to get a real job.
Saw some edgy dudes in red and black armor, they didn't like me apparently. Traveled the vast metro and found nothing but ghouls that wanted to eat me. I was down there for days. Ran into a Radio station inhabited by snoop dog and had the protection of Knights of the Round Table. But my journey was no where done. I'll get around to part two some other time chummer.
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