Dice with 100 Sides: no

[startacker]

kill all your companions
kill all your terrorists
be a one man army

63, You got all of your companions in one place and fired a missle at them! Your terrorist group found a new leader, not much can be done about it now.

stuff out a better version of the puppet

52, Done, He's your new companion.

fart to the point that your ass flies off

26, You attempted to destroy your ass, but you can't do it! Htrae doesn't have anything like beans or something like that.

INVENTORY
iPhone 6
Sawn-off Shotgun (EMPTY)
Laser-Guided RPG-7 (LOADED)
RPG-7 rocket x5
Grenade x1
Dual Wielded Physguns
Desert Eagle (5/9 shots left)
Dual Golden AK-47s (30/30 30/30)
AK-47 Mags x4
Space Laser (30/30 Beams left)
Space Laser Cartridge
$390,970

COMPANIONS
Better Puppet

[Ad Bot]

[DrHitius]

become president

[tber123]

Become president of the universe

[WaterOre]

make better puppet your vice president

[Refticus]

first order as president, nuke north korea

[Afraidanna]

eat stuff and die

[startacker]

become president

86, Congrats, first thing to do is-

Become president of the universe

95, Well stuff, welcome to your 10 year presidential, what to do-

make better puppet your vice president

30, He was immediately rejected, instead they revived and made Mr. Queeba of all people vice president

first order as president, nuke north korea

33, You're on Htrae anyway, the rockets lose propulsion in space.

eat stuff and die

78, GAME OVER BLAH BLAH BLAH

INVENTORY
iPhone 6
Sawn-off Shotgun (EMPTY)
Laser-Guided RPG-7 (LOADED)
RPG-7 rocket x5
Grenade x1
Dual Wielded Physguns
Desert Eagle (5/9 shots left)
Dual Golden AK-47s (30/30 30/30)
AK-47 Mags x4
Space Laser (30/30 Beams left)
Space Laser Cartridge
$390,970

COMPANIONS
Better Puppet
Mr. Queeba

[Mr Queeba]

I BE THE VP OF THE UNIVERSE, BABY
OT: Declare war against the Martians

[WaterOre]

impeach nixon

[Refticus]

realise queeba means someone who sucks farts out of dead seagulls and fire him on the spot for betelgeuse

[Afraidanna]

sacrifice this post to make sure queebas post never happens

[Swampivorous]

kill kido obey weegee

[tber123]

Destroy all the research in the universe

[Seath45]

Bring Shia Lebouf back to life.

[startacker]

I BE THE VP OF THE UNIVERSE, BABY
OT: Declare war against the Martians

70, The martians have waged war against the universe, this will not go well for the martians.

impeach nixon

51, Richard Nixon is dragged out of office while kicking and screaming.

realise queeba means someone who sucks farts out of dead seagulls and fire him on the spot for betelgeuse

81, Queeba is fired for betelgeuse.

sacrifice this post to make sure queebas post never happens

99, The martians never waged war, and have even sent a box of mars cookies to your door, neat.

kill kido obey weegee

34, What is this bleach thing You failed at pinpointing and killing kido.

Destroy all the research in the universe

3, Instead, MORE research appears.

Bring Shia Lebouf back to life.

47, He appears again, but with half of his arm missing.

INVENTORY
iPhone 6
Sawn-off Shotgun (EMPTY)
Laser-Guided RPG-7 (LOADED)
RPG-7 rocket x5
Grenade x1
Dual Wielded Physguns
Desert Eagle (5/9 shots left)
Dual Golden AK-47s (30/30 30/30)
AK-47 Mags x4
Space Laser (30/30 Beams left)
Space Laser Cartridge
$390,970

COMPANIONS
Better Puppet
Betelgeuse
Re-Animated Shia Lebouf