Dice with 100 Sides: no

[CypherX]

Summon krishnu to smoke some dank with you

[Ad Bot]

[Refticus]

proceed to realise that santa is an anagram for satan

[Space1255]

Summon God to purge the urge to masterubate in you

Then jack him off and leave

[startacker]

Jack off with Ronald reagan cutout

99, It's not 100, but you had one of the best experiences with a cardboard cutout of Ronald Reagan.

Summon God to purge the urge to masterubate in you

67
NEW EFFECT
Unable to masturbate

Summon krishnu to smoke some dank with you

71, Krishnu appears and smokes some dank weed with you.

proceed to realise that santa is an anagram for satan

26, You have a brain-fart

Then jack him off and leave

66, You would, but you are unable to, you leave to go back to New York City

INVENTORY
IPhone 5s
Sawn-off Shotgun (2/2)
00 Buckshot x2
Kriss Vector Magazine (25/25)
Toupe
Business Clothing
Classy Hat 15ft carrot
Zack Greinke Baseball Bat
Ronald Reagan Cardboard Cutout
Good Luck Clover x500
Nobel Peace Prize
Bloody Hatchet
Glass of Milk
Plate of Cookies
Some dank weed
$2,950,000

COMPANIONS
Santa
Satan

EFFECTS
Immune to Bad Luck!
Unable to Masturbate

[Space1255]

get satan to remove the inability to fap inside you
Then jack off
then go to hell

[Blockchip]

Buy some crisps/potato chips
and then eat them

[Refticus]

realise that the brainfart made you handicapped

[Space1255]

Turn into a 150 foot carrot, fall over.

[startacker]

get satan to remove the inability to fap inside you
Then jack off
then go to hell

77, You can masturbate again!
3, You destroy your snake, and by destroyed I mean it's gone, you can't get it back.
11, You float down, only to fall in a pool of lava

GAME OVER
reloading

Buy some crisps/potato chips
and then eat them

44, You found some potato chips, but you can't get the bag open.
68, You rip a hole in the bag and eat the chips

realise that the brainfart made you handicapped

76, You yell "fook" as you realize you're handicapped

NEW EFFECT
handicapped

Turn into a 150 foot carrot, fall over.

19, You hurt yourself while trying to turn into a 150 foot carrot, you fall over anyway

INVENTORY
IPhone 5s
Sawn-off Shotgun (2/2)
00 Buckshot x2
Kriss Vector Magazine (25/25)
Toupe
Business Clothing
Classy Hat 15ft carrot
Zack Greinke Baseball Bat
Ronald Reagan Cardboard Cutout
Good Luck Clover x500
Nobel Peace Prize
Bloody Hatchet
Glass of Milk
Plate of Cookies
Some dank weed
Empty Bag of Potato Chips
$2,950,000

COMPANIONS
Santa
Satan

EFFECTS
Immune to Bad Luck!
handicapped

[CypherX]

ask Satan to make you un-handicapped

[Refticus]

stuff yourself because you're that handicapped

[Space1255]

Durr hurr hurr du hurr [Don't be handicapped anymore]

[startacker]

ask Satan to make you un-handicapped

66, You're now unhandicapped-

stuff yourself because you're that handicapped

30, You're handicapped again!

Durr hurr hurr du hurr [Don't be handicapped anymore]

57, You're not handicapped anymore!

that was eventful
almost as eventful as this EVENT

HOLY forget AN EVENT
TERRORISTS ARE ATTACKING NEW YORK CITY!
YOU'RE GONNA NEED WEAPONS TO FIGHT THEM

INVENTORY
IPhone 5s
Sawn-off Shotgun (2/2)
00 Buckshot x2
Kriss Vector Magazine (25/25)
Toupe
Business Clothing
Classy Hat 15ft carrot
Zack Greinke Baseball Bat
Ronald Reagan Cardboard Cutout
Good Luck Clover x500
Nobel Peace Prize
Bloody Hatchet
Glass of Milk
Plate of Cookies
Some dank weed
Empty Bag of Potato Chips
$2,950,000

COMPANIONS
Santa
Satan

EFFECTS
Immune to Bad Luck!

[WaterOre]

Summon a sword the size of an airplane and fight terrorists with it

[Space1255]

CALL IN A TACTICAL NUKE
AGAIN
AND AGAIN
AND AGAIN
AND AGAIN
AND AGAIN
AND AGAIN
TWO MORE
OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE TO CALL IN