GO TO THE BATHROOM
POOP IN THE UNKNOWN ROOM
HOLD POOP FOR SOMEONE IMPORTANT
POOP ON THE CLERK WHO HELPED YOU
request to be delivered to the pope so you can stuff on him.if that doesn't work, the local church
stuff ON THE ALTAR
go to a grocery store and buy two bags of sunflower seeds, a head of lettuce, a rotisserie chicken, a bottle of the hottest sauce you can find, some salt and some olive oil. all of the ingredients you could need for a freak beast monster stuffleave and proceed to eat everything but salt and olive oil, then begin your trip to philly. once we find the pope we will chug the olive oil and salt
stuff in the bathroom like a normal person for once so the cops don't kick us out of the PD and let the protag get brutally murdered by Uncle Terminator
Go stuff in a bathroom and when you wipe the blood,go to a hospital.