Quest to Save Kompressor[poll is up, vote for something better to do]

[tber123]

Ohhhh, its turned into cocaine shoved into your nipples so you can suck it out and reconstruct it!

Dafuq

[Ad Bot]

[Space1255]

Dafuq

I think I had too much sand soup. Gimme more, pour it on the tinfoil!

[Refticus]

pretty sure our inventory is in our ass

[Space1255]

pretty sure our inventory is in our ass

No, it's in our nipples as dust and needs to be rehydrated with our milk.

[tber123]

Companion/Boss: Agent CRIT.

You keep looking around the farmhouse and discover a group of Blockheads locked in a stasis pod. You release them.

"Greetings! Have you come to receive a blessing from John Madden himself?" The First Blockhead immediately asks you.
"Don't listen to the Infidel! Worship Badspot instead!" The Second Blockhead screams.
"W-Where am I?" A member of the Ghosts asks as he exits the stasis pod.

"Agent Crit? Is that you?"

"Ben Blonde?" Agent Crit asks. "Who are these guys?"

"These are my associates. They're friendly."

"Pleasure to meet you. A ally of the Ghosts is always welcome." Agent Crit gives a handshake.

The fourth Blockhead released is a hostile robot! It immediately launches itself at the Church of Badspot Member and punches him with a Robo-Fist, sending him flying into space!

Hostile Robot (25/25 HP, vulnerable to fire) armed with ROBO-FIST DMG 5-9, high knockback
John Madden Cultist(5/5 HP) armed with Fists DMG 1-3
Area Effect: Warzone(Landscaper Outcasts and Aliens in conflict)

Ben Blonde has 15/15 HP. Small Guns Skill: 7.09/30 Suppressed Pistol, Gas Mask
Agent Crit has 15/15 HP. Explosives Skill: 5.00/30.00  Arm RocketL Gas Mask
Tom O'Flanagan has 13/13 HP, 13/13 STAM, 13/13 MENT, 3/3 Jet Fuel. He is also Piss-Drunk.

WEAPONS(5 QDS): 1)[Explosives]Akimbo RocketL DMG 1-4(BlastRadius) 4-7(DirectHit), fires twice 2)[Explosives]M79 GL DMG 4-6(Blast Radius) 7-12(Direct Hit) 3)[Long Arms]Beam Rifle DMG 3-6(Uncharged) 6-9(Charged) 4)[Small Guns]Magnum DMG 3-5, fires up to 2x 5)[Deflector]Deflector (Reflects projectiles based on Deflector Skill.) [Bladed Weapons]Chainsaw DMG 1-2, hits up to 9x [Long Arms]Remmington 700 DMG 4-9 [Small Guns]Laser SMG DMG 2-3, hits up to 6x [Flamethrowers]Stratofortress M2 Flamethrower DMG 5-10, 2x DMG to robots [Shotgun]DB Shotgun DMG 1-12, can hit multiple body parts [Small Guns]Ladios Alien Blaster DMG 4-6, hits up to 2x [Blunt Weapons]Police Baton DMG/STN 1-3, hits up to 2x [Explosives]Toaster Launcher DMG 1-4, fires up to 2x [Explosives]Firework Launcher DMG 1-2(BlastRadius) 3-4(DirectHit) [Long Arms]Justice Rifle DMG 1-4 [Long Arms]1914 Rifle DMG 2-5, fires up to 2x [Small Guns]Revolver DMG 2-4, fires up to 2x [Music]Guitar [Music]Keytar [Small Guns]American 180 DMG 2-4, hits up to 4x [Small Guns]Alien Blaster DMG 4-6 [Long Arms]Karbini MK 16 DMG 1-3(Normal) 4-6(Grenade Launcher), fires up to 4x [Throwing]Molotov roostertail [Bladed Weapons]Default Sword DMG 1-3, can hit 2x. High skill + dodge allows deflecting bullets.

ITEMS(10 QDS): (1)Empty Vodka Bottle x1 (2)Flashlight x1 (3)$566 (4)Gas Mask (5)BoomBox (6)Fine Wine x20 (7)Mech Part 1/3 (8)Sand Soup x50

AMMO: Bullets x11 Lasers x11 Arrows x5 Grenade Launcher Ammo x3 Shotgun Shells x9 Flamethrower Fuel x5 Rockets x10 Toast x5 High Explosive ammo x6 Incendiary Rounds x3 Stun Rounds x14

SKILLS: Long Arms: 5.65/30.00 Blunt Weapons: 5.57/30.00 Unarmed: 4.20/30.00 Speech: 7.50/30.00 Music: 0.07/30.00 Throwing: 0.05/30.00 Small Guns: 0.18/30.00 Bladed Weapons: 0.05/30.00 Explosives: 0.30/30.00 Deflector: 0.10/30.00 Shotguns: 0.10/30.00 Flamethrowers: 0.00/30.00

PERKS: Limited ESP(See enemy stats) Don't You Die On Me(Second Chance upon dying usually)COOLDOWN-12 Radiation Posioning(-3 Max HP/Stamina/Mental Health)

Gameplay Modifier: Quickdraw Slots is active.
Gameplay Modifier: Deadly Crits(3x DMG) is active.
Gameplay Modifier: Alien Invasion is active.
Death Mode: Slap on the Wrist is active.

[Space1255]

0/10 not agent Clit
Anyways, kill the hostile robot to death.

[lord techno]

Find a source of fire weaponry, a flamethrower will work. Then unleash it, if you cant find any fire, use water. Electricity will short out. Unless its waterproof.

[Nicepoint]

"This sentence is false"

[Space1255]

Find a source of fire weaponry, a flamethrower will work. Then unleash it, if you cant find any fire, use water. Electricity will short out. Unless its waterproof.

If waterproof, use your magic nipples to summon something

[tber123]

If waterproof, use your magic nipples to summon something

FFS its not magic nipples
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hammerspace

0/10 not agent Clit
Anyways, kill the hostile robot to death.

"This sentence is false"

"This sentence is false!" You shout to the robot.
"CORRECT." The Robot responds. Logic bombs can't kill it!

Find a source of fire weaponry, a flamethrower will work Which we do have already. Then unleash it, if you cant find any fire, use water. Electricity will short out. Unless its waterproof.

You spew flames at the robot, and it takes 20 damage! The Robot's circuits are horribly burned, and it begins to malfunction! You then finish off the robot by kicking it into the nearby ocean where it short circuits and explodes!
"John Madden would be proud, Brother!" The John Madden Cultist shouts as he runs off to worship John Madden.



You continue searching through the farmhouse when a mob of seven Outcasts run into you.

"There he is! Its the bastard that's massacred us by the dozens!"

(Too late at night to type up stats and names for these 7 Outcasts, they won't even last long so why bother typing their names)

These people clearly need to take it easy and mellow out. Hint, hint.

Area Effect: Warzone(Landscaper Outcasts and Aliens in conflict)

Ben Blonde has 15/15 HP. Small Guns Skill: 7.09/30 Suppressed Pistol, Gas Mask
Agent Crit has 15/15 HP. Explosives Skill: 5.00/30.00  Arm RocketL Gas Mask
Tom O'Flanagan has 13/13 HP, 13/13 STAM, 13/13 MENT, 3/3 Jet Fuel. He is also Piss-Drunk.

WEAPONS(5 QDS): 1)[Explosives]Akimbo RocketL DMG 1-4(BlastRadius) 4-7(DirectHit), fires twice 2)[Explosives]M79 GL DMG 4-6(Blast Radius) 7-12(Direct Hit) 3)[Long Arms]Beam Rifle DMG 3-6(Uncharged) 6-9(Charged) 4)[Small Guns]Magnum DMG 3-5, fires up to 2x 5)[Deflector]Deflector (Reflects projectiles based on Deflector Skill.) [Bladed Weapons]Chainsaw DMG 1-2, hits up to 9x [Long Arms]Remmington 700 DMG 4-9 [Small Guns]Laser SMG DMG 2-3, hits up to 6x [Flamethrowers]Stratofortress M2 Flamethrower DMG 5-10, 2x DMG to robots [Shotgun]DB Shotgun DMG 1-12, can hit multiple body parts [Small Guns]Ladios Alien Blaster DMG 4-6, hits up to 2x [Blunt Weapons]Police Baton DMG/STN 1-3, hits up to 2x [Explosives]Toaster Launcher DMG 1-4, fires up to 2x [Explosives]Firework Launcher DMG 1-2(BlastRadius) 3-4(DirectHit) [Long Arms]Justice Rifle DMG 1-4 [Long Arms]1914 Rifle DMG 2-5, fires up to 2x [Small Guns]Revolver DMG 2-4, fires up to 2x [Music]Guitar [Music]Keytar [Small Guns]American 180 DMG 2-4, hits up to 4x [Small Guns]Alien Blaster DMG 4-6 [Long Arms]Karbini MK 16 DMG 1-3(Normal) 4-6(Grenade Launcher), fires up to 4x [Throwing]Molotov roostertail [Bladed Weapons]Default Sword DMG 1-3, can hit 2x. High skill + dodge allows deflecting bullets.

ITEMS(10 QDS): (1)Empty Vodka Bottle x1 (2)Flashlight x1 (3)$566 (4)Gas Mask (5)BoomBox (6)Fine Wine x20 (7)Mech Part 1/3 (8)Sand Soup x50

AMMO: Bullets x11 Lasers x11 Arrows x5 Grenade Launcher Ammo x3 Shotgun Shells x9 Flamethrower Fuel x4 Rockets x10 Toast x5 High Explosive ammo x6 Incendiary Rounds x3 Stun Rounds x14

SKILLS: Long Arms: 5.65/30.00 Blunt Weapons: 5.57/30.00 Unarmed: 4.30/30.00 Speech: 7.50/30.00 Music: 0.07/30.00 Throwing: 0.05/30.00 Small Guns: 0.18/30.00 Bladed Weapons: 0.05/30.00 Explosives: 0.30/30.00 Deflector: 0.10/30.00 Shotguns: 0.10/30.00 Flamethrowers: 0.10/30.00

PERKS: Limited ESP(See enemy stats) Don't You Die On Me(Second Chance upon dying usually)COOLDOWN-12 Radiation Posioning(-3 Max HP/Stamina/Mental Health)

Gameplay Modifier: Quickdraw Slots is active.
Gameplay Modifier: Deadly Crits(3x DMG) is active.
Gameplay Modifier: Alien Invasion is active.
Death Mode: Slap on the Wrist is active.

[Space1255]

Dramatic pause, zoom in, "May I take your order?" In a badass way, start serving Sand Soup.

[Refticus]

Dramatic pause, zoom in, "May I take your order?" In a badass way, start serving Sand Soup.

soup kitchen time

[tber123]

Dramatic pause, zoom in, "May I take your order?" In a badass way, start serving Sand Soup.

soup kitchen time

The Outcasts get piss-drunk like you are and don't feel like fighting. One of them drunkenly hugs you.

Tom O'Flanagan spots a MASSIVE UFO at the edge of his draw distance as the conflict between the Outcasts and Aliens rages on in the city across the island he's in.

Area Effect: Warzone(Landscaper Outcasts and Aliens in conflict)

Ben Blonde has 15/15 HP. Small Guns Skill: 7.09/30 Suppressed Pistol, Gas Mask
Agent Crit has 15/15 HP. Explosives Skill: 5.00/30.00  Arm RocketL Gas Mask
Tom O'Flanagan has 13/13 HP, 13/13 STAM, 13/13 MENT, 3/3 Jet Fuel. He is also Piss-Drunk.

WEAPONS(5 QDS): 1)[Explosives]Akimbo RocketL DMG 1-4(BlastRadius) 4-7(DirectHit), fires twice 2)[Explosives]M79 GL DMG 4-6(Blast Radius) 7-12(Direct Hit) 3)[Long Arms]Beam Rifle DMG 3-6(Uncharged) 6-9(Charged) 4)[Small Guns]Magnum DMG 3-5, fires up to 2x 5)[Deflector]Deflector (Reflects projectiles based on Deflector Skill.) [Bladed Weapons]Chainsaw DMG 1-2, hits up to 9x [Long Arms]Remmington 700 DMG 4-9 [Small Guns]Laser SMG DMG 2-3, hits up to 6x [Flamethrowers]Stratofortress M2 Flamethrower DMG 5-10, 2x DMG to robots [Shotgun]DB Shotgun DMG 1-12, can hit multiple body parts [Small Guns]Ladios Alien Blaster DMG 4-6, hits up to 2x [Blunt Weapons]Police Baton DMG/STN 1-3, hits up to 2x [Explosives]Toaster Launcher DMG 1-4, fires up to 2x [Explosives]Firework Launcher DMG 1-2(BlastRadius) 3-4(DirectHit) [Long Arms]Justice Rifle DMG 1-4 [Long Arms]1914 Rifle DMG 2-5, fires up to 2x [Small Guns]Revolver DMG 2-4, fires up to 2x [Music]Guitar [Music]Keytar [Small Guns]American 180 DMG 2-4, hits up to 4x [Small Guns]Alien Blaster DMG 4-6 [Long Arms]Karbini MK 16 DMG 1-3(Normal) 4-6(Grenade Launcher), fires up to 4x [Throwing]Molotov roostertail [Bladed Weapons]Default Sword DMG 1-3, can hit 2x. High skill + dodge allows deflecting bullets.

ITEMS(10 QDS): (1)Empty Vodka Bottle x1 (2)Flashlight x1 (3)$566 (4)Gas Mask (5)BoomBox (6)Fine Wine x20 (7)Mech Part 1/3 (8)Sand Soup x43

AMMO: Bullets x11 Lasers x11 Arrows x5 Grenade Launcher Ammo x3 Shotgun Shells x9 Flamethrower Fuel x4 Rockets x10 Toast x5 High Explosive ammo x6 Incendiary Rounds x3 Stun Rounds x14

SKILLS: Long Arms: 5.65/30.00 Blunt Weapons: 5.57/30.00 Unarmed: 4.30/30.00 Speech: 7.50/30.00 Music: 0.07/30.00 Throwing: 0.05/30.00 Small Guns: 0.18/30.00 Bladed Weapons: 0.05/30.00 Explosives: 0.30/30.00 Deflector: 0.10/30.00 Shotguns: 0.10/30.00 Flamethrowers: 0.10/30.00

PERKS: Limited ESP(See enemy stats) Don't You Die On Me(Second Chance upon dying usually)COOLDOWN-10 (Why the hell do I keep forgetting to update the countdown) Radiation Posioning(-3 Max HP/Stamina/Mental Health)

Gameplay Modifier: Quickdraw Slots is active.
Gameplay Modifier: Deadly Crits(3x DMG) is active.
Gameplay Modifier: Alien Invasion is active.
Death Mode: Slap on the Wrist is active.

[Space1255]

Take the mech parts, and get everyone to run the forget away

[tber123]

Take the mech parts

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HyperspaceArsenal

Video game characters, particularly in First Person Shooters and Adventure Games, have a seemingly superhuman ability to carry incredible amounts of stuff at one time, usually an array of weapons along with a couple hundred pounds of ammunition for each one. It doesn't limit their ability to run and jump and crawl through small spaces at all. What's more, when you see them during cutscenes in first-person games and third-person games, you can't see where they've stowed these things, even when they're wearing clothes that are more or less form-fitting. It seems they've put them away in the same realm where Hyperspace Mallets are kept.

Like a regular videogame protagonist, Tom O'Flanagan stores all his stuff in Hammerspace/Hyperspace. He is already sorta carrying the mech parts.

Update when I get home