Poll

are phones good

forget you
6 (25%)
no
7 (29.2%)
maybe
6 (25%)
yes
5 (20.8%)

Total Members Voted: 56

Author Topic: off loving sucks  (Read 167252 times)

try soul knight

one of the worst and most repetitive pieces of stuff ive ever seen



10 thousand furcigarettes


giant boulder of death is a boring endless runner where you slide down a mountain increasingly filled with things trying to kill you until you die from a nigh unavoidable spike/bomb due to how little control you have over your boulder. nice graphics though. pass

void pyramid is a loving weird top down rpg where you traverse through a derelict space egypt superprison made of drugs. good writing and style helps the at times tedious and nonobvious mechanics become bearable. got an ouya release. probably a game i should write a full review for cause its very similar to other indie rpgs reviewed. its on pc if you want to check it out

enyo is even more of a hopilite rip than adventurer league and is even worse because of stuffty performance and controls, annoying ads, and a ton of questionable design decCIAions like making the game real time. just play hopilite its so good
« Last Edit: June 07, 2017, 08:55:10 PM by DestroyerOfBlocks »

mm i actually liked playing giant boulder of death while i was on the can

magikarp jump or whatever is a hideously boring pet simulator done better and without microtransactions a decade ago by flash games. definitely avoid

fire emblem heros eschews strategy in favor of grind and self insert anime stuff and has a pay/wait to keep grinding business model. avoid

mario run is a runner where you make mario jump over stuff in his way. not terrible, the best in the genre to my knowledge. toad rally versus speedruns were pretty fun. unfortunately seems malingned because you have to purchase the game to play more than a few levels and cant just grind until you unlock stuff. its ok

soul knight is a rip of nuclear throne but worse. it has a weird adjusting movement pad thing, the music was beyond tedious, and necessary control cuts means aim is entirely automated. seems like there is a good base game under those issues but oh well. avoid

taipan is a port of an old ass 1980s pc game where you play as an east asian merchant aailing between cities in the 1800s. everything about the game is rng and there is nothing to do beyond clicking which city you want to go to and praying its randomized priceswill let you sell for profit, and watching the beyond unnecessarily lengthy automated ship battles. avoid

magic 2015 is a mobile port of magic: the gathering and ran like stuff on my phone so i couldnt tell you

one thousand lies is a visual novel about an anime high school filled 7 hours of unfunny comedy filler and fifteen minutes of philosophising about lies or sone stuff i dont know i accisentally skipped a lot of it and there wasnt a go back feature. pass

militia is a turn based strategy about killing some guys but its woefully easy due to erratic ai and random generation so none of the puzzles are entertaining at all. pass and play hopilite

star tactics is a turn based strategy about plotting the movements of your ships or some stuff and it probably ripped all its mrchanics from another game but it doesnt matter since positioning the ships is beyond tedious and all games can be won by exploiting ai incompetence. pass

vainglory is a phone moba (im not even making stuff up) thats actually very good at doin what it is which is surprising. like its a phone moba and i would describe it as good except its a moba. if you like mobas and have a phone you should consiser this game if your computer explodes because its simpler than an actual moba and i know you people jerk yourselves off to how loving compelx your fucmkng hideous amalgations of warcraft 3 engine limitajons forget you. also people play this competitively
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 01:21:34 AM by DestroyerOfBlocks »



the worst part is the play store recommended this to me
« Last Edit: June 18, 2017, 05:41:21 PM by DestroyerOfBlocks »


you actually whack the spinners against each other to battle im loving dying




what the hell is happening
« Last Edit: June 19, 2017, 12:29:52 AM by DestroyerOfBlocks »

what in the god damn forget

how is this allowed to exist

can the undertale devs take that down please
it'll be the one good thing they do in life