i mean dude if you're so fragile that any word will force an emotion into you then what's going on?
i think in reality he probably means more than just words. there are a lot of other subtle ways that people could make you feel like you're different. also keep in mind he's also talking about a situation where someone would be experiencing that consistently throughout their life, not just singular occurrences. you can brush off the odd starfish or two, but it makes sense that if someone is told something enough, or if they get a certain impression enough times, they're probably going to start to believe it
i don't think anyone is saying that nothing has changed since the 60s, but i do think there are some unconscious preconceptions people have that do affect how others are treated. and obviously that isn't just a problem for black people, but they aren't excused from it just because they've had a civil rights movement