Tank Busters! That forum game where you destroy tanks. (SOLDIERS OR TANKS?)

[ZeÜberMedic!]

fire a rpg

[Ad Bot]

[TableSalt]

Aggressively lick mini tank 3.

[Bloo Kirby the 2nd]

Throw Seventeen and a Half Grenades at a random mini tank

[Space1255]

Right. I shouldn't've aggressively demanded an update. I apologize.

fire a rpg

Assist by loading in Final Fantasy VI

[Twix]

get a butterfly knife and use jailbreak skills to stab the first tank

[Redconer]

BUILD BUILD BUILD BUILD!

[failbros2]

i am the laziest person in the world. bump for later updates

[Pompmaker2]

i am the laziest person in the world. bump for later updates

it hasn't been 5 days yet so you're still not as bad as me

[lord techno]

I just realized i forgot to update this. And it's a bit late for that.

[failbros2]

Sad to say this everyone, but I may have to drop Tank Busters.
However, there is hope.
If I can get more people to manage, Tank Busters can continue.

[failbros2]

No volunteers?
crap.

[Marios]

If nobody does before evening of the 30th day this month (GMT+2), I'll volunteer to update.

I can't update before then, so if anyone just caught this offer at the last second...

[Marios]

Bump for an announcement:

Yesterday I couldn't update at all to my own disappointment. Later today I will provide the next turn at last, even if I have to shank my own arse to do so.

Stay tuned! Well, for a couple of hours.

[Marios]

Apologies for the triple post.

Well, here I am. New Dungeon Master on the controls. I am likely to mess stuff up but let there be an attempt.

I have studied the situation as hard as possible, and studying any more will likely hurt me more than stabbing my arse.

Speaking of which, my arse is bleeding quick so let's get this show started quickly. Making a few more checks... Rolling with random.org...

Tank Busters is GO!

Attack Results

SubDaWoofer: rolled 3
Your drone locks on Mini Tank 3. It shoots. It misses.

CRITAWAKETS and Redconer: repairing the fortress
You nearly finish repairing CRIT's nuked fortress. Stick to it for this last turn!

JamesH: constructing second autocannon
One cannon isn't enough. You just want more! So you settle down to build another cannon under your command. It will take 5 turns.

Rabbot32: paused field gun construction - aiding JamesH
You pause the construction of your field guns to help JamesH build another autocannon with your supreme architect skills! Construction has been reduced from 5 to 4 turns! As long as you stay with your friend in need.

But caution! To return to construction of your field guns where you left them, you'll need to toss a coin if you don't return in this turn or the next! Otherwise you'll have to start over.

DELL: tried to use a non-existing Free Heal
You tried to use your Free Heal. But you don't have one! You came after the free heals were manufactured and given out.

ZeÜberMedic! and Space1255: rolled 2
You fire an RPG and also Final Fantasy VI for literalism. One of you trips and accidentally turns the launcher downward. Giblets of your favorite game cut you up.

TableSalt: didn't roll
You try to lick Mini Tank #3. But you're dead!

Bloo Kirby the 2nd: rolled 1
You toss seventeen grenades at Mini Tank #3, then chop your eighteenth in half to throw half of a grenade. That was your mistake. The rest of the grenades somehow miss any lifeform or metal completely.

Twix: rolled 5
Jailbreak is a game probably worse than an actual jail. But it toughened you up real good. You grab a butterfly knife and recycle your techniques on blockhead stabbing to use them on the Mini Tank. Deals 174 damage, which gets increased to 261 due to the shield!

Microsoft EDGE: rolled 1
You set up a bomb to try and hurt all three mini tanks at the same time. The bomb is round and you set it up on a ramp. It rolls back at you, and you may finish the story.

Bronson: rolled 4
Bronson fires his triple buckshot at Mini Tank #3. And hits! Dealing 114 damage, and due to the lack of a shield, all of it!

Mini Tank

The mini tank fires its gun at the Mercenary Vault inflicting 1 damage.

HP: 800/800 Armor: 400/400 Shield: 3/500

Such a cool tank!

Mini Tank #2

The mini tank fires its gun at TristanLuigi inflicting 1 damage.

HP: 800/800 Armor: 400/400 Shield: 22/500

Totally not a clone of Mini Tank #1.

Mini Tank #3

The mini tank fires its gun at Clownfish inflicting 1 damage.

HP: 800/800 Armor: 267/400 Shield: 0/500

I still wonder how someone would fit in this...?

The tank's shields are Protector Shields. They reduce ranged attacks by 1/2 of their damage and increase melee damage by 50%. Get your knives out!

PLAYERS:
tber123: 1/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Twix: 3/3
Mr Queeba: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Cybertails1998: 1/3 [+Free Heal Available]
NotBomberGuy: 2/3 MAD: 2 TURNS LEFT (50% more dmg) [+Free Heal Available]
MoltenKitten: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Space1255: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Rabbot32: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available] Helping JamesH construct second autocannon - 4 turns left
TristianLuigi: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
cromartini: look before you dab [+Free Heal Available]
kidplasma: 3/3
eboyblue10: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
SubDaWoofer: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Juncoph: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
CRITAWAKETS: | 3/3 Bandos Defense active [+Free Heal Available] Transformed into Black Ace: lasts until battle ends
Potatoh: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Notorious B.I.G: ate some buckshot [+Free Heal Available]
GrapeJellyToastMan: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Man of Greenish: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Somemong: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Nix the Glaceon: Drank his laundry detergent [+Free Heal Available]
Redconer: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available] Helping CRIT rebuild his fortress - 1 turns left
JamesH: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available] Constructing second autocannon - 4 turns left (Assisted by Rabbot32)
Microsoft EDGE: he saw it rolling, he hated it [+Free Heal Available]
Pngu12970: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Deoxys And One Noob: kablammo [+Free Heal Available]
Gojira: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
crazies alt: 2/3 Built up speed: lasts until end of battle
Rigel: 3/3 [+Free Heal Available]
ZeUberMedic: 1/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Malleo100: tank shell up the butt [+Free Heal Available]
TableSalt: got shocked real bad [+Free Heal Available]
Just M2: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
shinyarceus4: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Clownfish: 2/3 [+Free Heal Available]
Bloo Kirby the 2nd: fruit ninja with grenades is unhealthy
DELL: he PICKed a bad fate

ALLIES:
SubDaWoofers Combat Drone: 2/3
}]Crazy[{‘s skeleton with Churchill’s soul: NUKED
Tiger II: NUKED
Engineer: 2/3
Bronson: 6/6 3/3
TOG II: 1/4
Daemon Prince: NUKED
M2’s Howitzer: NUKED
ZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer: NUKED
Twix's Rototank: NUKED
KV-2: Destroyed by the Precursor

BUILDINGS:
Defensive Fortification: 10/10
Defensive Line: 7/10
JamesH's 400mm Autocannon: 5/5
JamesH's Second 400mm Autocannon: Built in 4 turns
Rabbot32's Field Guns: Construction paused, 3 turns to build, 2 turns until potential progress loss
Amazon Prime Terminal^TM: 14/15
CRIT's Fortress: Undergoing repairs, one more turn
Mercenary Vault: 14/15
Mobile Command Center: NUKED
Fallout Shelter / Superbunker: Took too much abuse
GrapeJellyToastMan's Compound: Destroyed by the Precursor
CRITAWAKET's P.S.V: freaking blammed itself

The defensive fortification has a 50% chance to divert enemy attacks to itself. While the defensive line will make any players who move behind it immune to damage, at the cost of itself taking damage every time one of those players is attacked.

Free heals may be used to fully restore yourself. They are one-time use only, so be wise. Using a free heal while dead will revive you with guaranteed success.

Finally, this hell of an update is done.
However, I have more likely than not made mistakes.
You want this game to go on? Help me help you - fix my mistakes, if any.
Jokes are not accepted unless they are funny.

[NotBomberguy]

flip the tank with most health and armor