STUFF THAT I MISSED LAST TURN
Nix the Glaceon: Rolled
3You reach into your schoolbag and throw something at the tank. It was not a pencil but in fact a pen!
It still does nothing.JamesH: Rolled
5The other half of your supernova comes back via magic and slams into the side of the tank!
73 damage, and Einstein rolls in his grave.Kidplasma: Rolled
3You attempt to create a weaponized backbrace. However, you end up developing an incredibly advanced weight loss device instead. You lose 4 pounds in five minutes,
but otherwise do no damage.
ATTACK RESULTS
Just M2: Rolled
5You get into your howitzer and fire! The shell hits the tank head-on,
doing 78 damage!TableSalt: Rolled
5As you snort the coke, you feel the infernal bubbling of Hell’s lava lakes in your nose. It hurts like a bitch and you channel the pain into a concentrated coke sneeze which
dissolves the tank’s armor for 79 damage!CRITAWAKETS: Rolled
2While building the frame of the megatank, you miss a screw and the whole thing collapses on your head.
Superheavy armor hurts like a bitch when it falls.Space1255: Rolled
2 Clone also rolled
2 (not kidding)
You accidentally equip a raper instead of a rapier and are pierced by his Moonlight Sword, if you get my drift. As he leaves,
your back door screams in pure agony. Your clone shares your pain...
NotBomberGuy: Rolled
3While trying to calculate the speed of the baseball, a cat steps on your keyboard and adds a bunch more zeroes right after the decimal point. You throw the baseball at 0.00000000009c.
It flops to the ground harmlessly.Nix the Glaceon: Rolled
5You throw a jellybean at the tank. A german soldier smells the jellybean and opens up his hatch to catch it in his mouth. You threw so hard it rips his head off and breaks a bunch of stuff inside the tank.
86 damage!Kidplasma: Rolled
2As you hold watermelon seeds in your hand, preparing to throw them, they suddenly mutate and a watermelon grows from your little finger.
The weight of it snaps off your finger. there’s a reason botanists have the shortest life expectancies of any jobTwix: Rolled
3The health gods are too busy snorting each other’s medpacks to notice your pitiful little prayer.
SubDaWoofer: Rolled
5As your plutonium hunger fades, you feel your skin becoming much tougher. You installed dire-rhino skin!
Much tougher, mind you. You gain 3 armor.Crazies alt: Rolled
4Having rested for 2 turns of doing absolutely nothing, you feel strong enough to throw a humongous flaming explosive titanium platinum-rank gold-and-diamond-skinned tomahawk at it from across the globe. You, however, only have a normal tomahawk to throw.
59 damage, though.Notorious B.I.G. Rolled
5You successfully get through to the Department of Defense. They agree that the tank is a threat and turn the keys to launch a nuke at the tank.
A nuke will arrive in 3 turns! Everyone take cover!Redconer: Revived ZeUberMedic
Taking ZeUberMedic’s medigun, you force 200ccs of roughly medicinal liquid down his throat.
It seems to work wonders, if the coughing and violent spasming is any indication.
ZeUberMedic: Rolled
6You feel so good after the spasms and coughing stop that you build a howitzer lickety-split!
It ends up so big that your phallic inferiority causes you to take mental damage.Tber123: Revived Cybertails
The local satanic cult has been overrun by Jehova’s Witnesses. Luckily, they seem to be able to do the same things just fine, and
revive Cybertails for you. what does it all meanShinyarceus4: Rolled
1You poke the tank with a stick. The stick decides it’s had enough of your stuff and
pokes both your eyes out. aaand you’re deadCybertails1998: Rolled
4The Jehova’s Witnesses who revived you help you contact the denizens of hell, and the hell people launch a fireball through dimensions at the tank,
dealing 43 damage!
ADDITIONAL RESULTS
The fishtank grows arms and legs, before transforming back into a body and a head. Cromartini is back, and spits out a goldfish in defiance.
NotBomberGuy proudly finishes rebuilding the Mobile Command Center and CRITAWAKET’s Fortress!! He shows off his handiwork to you guys with a proud brickable smile on his face.
Twix’s Rototank has arrived! Give that adorable thing some ammo.
A nuke will hit the area in 3 turns. Find cover or face ground zero...
Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte (incomplete)
HP: 2000/2000 (Armor: 420/1000)
The thousand-ton monster here to crush your hopes and dreams.
Except it isn’t quite finished yet…
The Ratte fires its battleship cannons at Microsoft Edge! He is instantly eviscerated and the shells bury his face into the earth. seems like it hates that browser just as much as everyone else
PLAYERS:tber123:
4/3Twix:
1/3 [Flak Cannon active] [Shield HP: 3/3]Mr Queeba:
2/3Cybertails1998:
3/3NotBomberGuy:
3/3MoltenKitten:
3/3Space1255:
2/3 Clone health:
2/3Rabbot32:
2/3TristianLuigi:
3/3 cromartini:
2/3kidplasma:
1/3crazies alt:
3/3eboyblue10:
1/3 1/3 [Tactical Vest Equipped] Weaponized UCG's hatred
SubDaWoofer:
3/3 Armor 3/3 (dire-rhino skin) Juncoph:
3/3CRITAWAKETS:
1/3Potatoh:
2/3Notorious B.I.G:
2/3GrapeJellyToastMan:
3/3Man of Greenish:
3/3}]Crazy[{:
3/3 Somemong:
1/3Nix the Glaceon:
2/3Redconer:
2/3JamesH:
1/3 [Supernova Ready]Microsoft EDGE:
battleship cannon'dPngu12970:
3/3Deoxys And One Noob:
4/3Gojira:
3/3crazies alt:
2/3Rigel:
2/3ZeUberMedic:
2/3Malleo100:
3/3TableSalt:
1/3Just M2:
3/3shinyarceus4:
eyes gone, death by stickALLIES:Mark. V Heavy:
3/3Daemon Prince:
3/3M2’s Howitzer:
3/3ZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer:
3/3Twix's Rototank:
3/3KV-2:
Destroyed by the PrecursorBUILDINGS:Amazon Prime TerminalTM:
3/3CRIT's Fortress:
3/3Mobile Command Center: 14/14
GrapeJellyToastMan's Compound: Destroyed by the Precursor
CRITAWAKET's P.S.V: freaking blammed itself
Poll