ATTACK RESULTS
ZeUberMedic: Rolled
6You get into the howitzer. As you prepare to fire, the shell transforms spontaneously into a KzR shell, causing your shot to be
much more powerful and dealing 102 damage! However, a
fragment of the shell bounces off the tank and hits you.TableSalt: Rolled
2You eat a medkit.
Bandages and alcohol swabs sure taste terrible, don’t they?Clownfish: Rolled
6It turns out that you were an archmagi in your past life. All your previous magical experience returns from the afterlife and floods into your body, causing you to appear magically before the defense forces. You wanted to get them to turn the nuke around, but change your mind. Using your wizard powers, you
enhance the nuke with a magic explosion which will only hit the tanks! The magic overdose
causes you to have a migraine, though.CRITAWAKETS: Rolled
2You would very much like to build a squad of neotanks, but the blueprints for them are still hidden away in a city on an island.
Too bad.Cromartini: Rolled
3Unfortunately, being german, the tank has no interest in English rock. It politely declines your explanation with a wave of its machinegun.
Space1255: Rolled
1 Clone rolled
6You reach in your stash of weapons and equip an
Armorsayer! It causes you to say the word “armor” over and over, until you
run out of breath and suffocate to death.Your clone, however, equips the right sword and casts Sol,
dealing 103 damage! He swings too far and
slices off his foot, though.Crazies alt: Rolled
4Suddenly turning towards your former self, you rip out }]crazy[{‘s heart and eat it,
gaining extra health. Unfortunately, you fail to become all-powerful because }]crazy[{ does not have a soul as you, being an alt, are using it. You attack the tank out of disappointment and
deal 43 damage.Cybertails1998: Rolled
6You put up a ridiculously huge triple-layered quadruple-folded hermetically-sealed rebar-fortified all-encompassing garden-of-babylon-style ziggurat-tiered ruffle-ridged absolute-terror-field red-and-white striped mega umbrella in the hopes of surviving the nuke, and are disappointed to hear that the nuke will not hit you anymore.
You still gain 6 armor, but the weight of the umbrella dislocates your shoulder.
Shinyarceus4: Rolled
4You
revivify yourself, hooray.
Notorious B.I.G.
You
hide in a fallout shelter, radioing people to follow you. Clownfish the wizard speaks directly into your mind. “No need for that”, he says.
SubDaWoofer: Rolled
3You can’t find any cover around, so you pull out an army shovel and try to dig a trench.
The shovelhead snaps off before any digging can be done. Made in Zimbabwe, it says on the back.
Twix: Rolled
5The rototank spins around at high speeds and shoots all of its cannons,
dealing 73 damage! It does not have a face, but seems to be enjoying itself.
Redconer: Revived Microsoft EDGE
After downloading the latest windows 10 update onto your computer,
Microsoft EDGE reappears good as new, because
that damn browser just won’t go awayKidplasma: Rolled
5By concentrating really hard, you flex 47 muscles previously unknown to science and
realign your back. You start to think that things will turn out for the best, and your stump finger agrees with you and
grows back.
how does your body work exactlyNotBomberGuy: Rolled
5 With the power of the home-run bat, you wind up and… throw the baseball normally. It goes fast enough to
deal 82 damage, leaving a dent in the tank’s armor.
why did you think a bat would help with your pitching again?
ADDITIONAL RESULTS
A nuke will impact in 2 turns! Don't worry, it won't hit you guys anymore.
Landkreuzer P.1000 Ratte (incomplete)
HP: 2000/2000 (Armor:
17/1000)
The thousand-ton monster here to crush your hopes and dreams.
Except it isn’t quite finished yet…
The Ratte fires its armor-piercing 12.8 cm gun at SubDaWoofer! The shell pierces right through his rhino skin, dealing 2 damage![/i]
PLAYERS:tber123:
4/3Twix:
1/3 [Flak Cannon active] [Shield HP: 3/3]Mr Queeba:
2/3Cybertails1998:
2/3 Big-ass umbrella
6/6NotBomberGuy:
3/3MoltenKitten:
3/3Space1255:
ran out of breath Clone health:
1/3Rabbot32:
2/3TristianLuigi:
3/3 cromartini:
2/3kidplasma:
3/3crazies alt:
4/3eboyblue10:
1/3 1/3 [Tactical Vest Equipped] Weaponized UCG's hatred
SubDaWoofer:
1/3 Armor 3/3 (dire-rhino skin) Juncoph:
3/3CRITAWAKETS:
1/3Potatoh:
2/3Notorious B.I.G:
2/3 Hiding in a fallout shelter
GrapeJellyToastMan:
3/3Man of Greenish:
3/3}]Crazy[{:
3/3 Somemong:
1/3Nix the Glaceon:
2/3Redconer:
2/3JamesH:
1/3 [Supernova Ready]Microsoft EDGE:
3/3Pngu12970:
3/3Deoxys And One Noob:
4/3Gojira:
3/3crazies alt:
2/3Rigel:
2/3ZeUberMedic:
1/3Malleo100:
3/3TableSalt:
1/3Just M2:
3/3shinyarceus4:
3/3Clownfish:
2/3ALLIES:Mark. V Heavy:
3/3Daemon Prince:
3/3M2’s Howitzer:
3/3ZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer:
3/3Twix's Rototank:
3/3KV-2:
Destroyed by the PrecursorBUILDINGS:Amazon Prime TerminalTM:
3/3CRIT's Fortress:
3/3Mobile Command Center: 14/14
GrapeJellyToastMan's Compound: Destroyed by the Precursor
CRITAWAKET's P.S.V: freaking blammed itself
Poll