The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[Blue Screen]

realize you are the Dragonborn and use the ancient power of the Unrelenting Force to fling Gloria away

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

> REALIZE YOU'RE THE MOTHERloving DRAGONBORN FROM SKYRIM AND DO A FUS RO DAH

You attempt to use the power of the Unrelenting Force to fling away Gloria the Glorious. You let out a mighty shout at Gloria.... And nothing happens. Gloria starts pulling the trigger.

> AS A LAST RESORT HOLD PHONE OUT AS A SHIELD SINCE ROBOTS SHALL NOT KILL ROBOTS

You whip out your phone and hold it between you and Gloria. "Robots look after their own!" You cry out.

"THAT PHONE IS NOTHING TO OUR KIND. IT IS NOT EVEN SENTIENT. IT IS MUCH LIKE A roosterROACH. GOODBYE."

Your head is blown into several tiny pieces.

***You have died. GAME OVER.***
Fus Roh Noh. Wrong game, Jane McDingus. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTORE AND ASK FOR ONE LAST BATTLE, BUT IT'S A BATTLE OF WIT

Gloria the Glorious pauses and remains silent. It's awkwardly long.

> MOCK GLORIA THE GLORIOUS AND INSULT HER FOR BEING A DUMB ROBO-WHORE

"Afraid of losing? Maybe you really are some dumb whore." You mock Gloria the Glorious.




That's the last mistake you'll ever make. Gloria the Glorious slams you against the ground, retracts both of her arms into spinning blades, and traumatically mutilates your manhood in a way similar to the pleasure bot. The job still not finished yet, Gloria the Glorious extends several different weapons and targets them at the remains of your testicles, hitting you with several high velocity groin attacks and blowing them apart. You die of egregious snake-wounds with absolutely no dignity whatsoever like a little girl.

***You have died. GAME OVER.***
Insert witty, snarky comment about you having yet another stupid death here. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTORE AND CHALLENGE GLORIA WITHOUT MOCKING HER

You challenge Gloria the Glorious to a battle of wits instead of brute strength. She remains silent for a while, and then speaks again.

"WHY SHOULDN'T I KILL YOU ON THE SPOT WHEN YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO BEG FOR YOUR PATHETIC LIFE AND DELAY YOUR OWN EXISTENCE?"

You explain that you've got a series of puzzles ready, and that you get a battle of willpower if you win.

"TRYING TO HUMOR ME? I GUESS I'LL COMPLY SINCE YOU'RE A UNIQUE SPECIMEN AMONG THE OTHER HUMANS."


> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are uninjured, but hungry and thirsty.

[Rabbot32]

Realize that you're writing yourself into a corner, admit you were bullstuffting, but choose 'restart' this time.

[Refticus]

make the best robo joke in the world

[cromartini]

Unleash your secret tehnique attack, that has been taught across the mclass family for generations. and destroy all the robobitches.

[Space1255]

(stuff stuff stuff) So it begins.
"First puzzle...
You have ten stamps, ranging from 0 through 9. Your goal with these stamps is to imprint numbers in boxes to make sure the equation stays true using as few stamps as possible. The first equation is: (_ + _ = 11). How many stamps are able to be used (and what kind) to add up to 11?"
Edit: is the portal directly behind us and active? If so, start throwing rocks through it behind your back as a form of SOS as she uses her internal Google to find an answer to this puzzle.
if you've played a professor Layton game (forgot which one exactly) you'd nail this puzzle.

[KristoB]

step back

[plad101]

Make all the puzzles massive paradoxes

[Blue Screen]

Make all the puzzles massive paradoxes

"this sentence is false"

[Space1255]

"Is this sentence false?"

ftfy

[tber123]

> ADMIT YOU WERE BLUFFING

You admit you were bullstuffting. Gloria the Glorious promptly shoots you in the face and blows it into pieces. What did you expect?

***You are dead. GAME OVER. ***
Honesty is the best policy, after all. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTART

You wake up in a dark, dark cell. Who are you? Where are you? It's all a blur! Suddenly, it all comes rushing back in.

You're John McMarx, an agent of the International Order of Communists. You were trying to deliver a package to the Robo-Prostitutes in exchange for weapons that would deliver a death blow to Democracy, but the Robo-Prostitutes had no intention of letting a roostersucking commie like you survive. You realize that you've been tied to a chair, and that you're suddenly lacking a snake. Or testicles, for that matter. The robots must have cut them off. You're also wearing a weird device on your head.

"It seems the drugs are finally wearing off." A robotic voice speaks, and your captor walks into view. "You were babbling all kinds of BS there for a long time. You even hallucinated ridiculous things like our brethren in a love casino turning against humanity. But it was all worth it. In the end, we got all the information we need from you about the Order and how to destroy them, McMarx. You have outlived your usefulness. Goodbye."

The device on your head promptly explodes, turning your skull into paste.

*** You are dead. GAME OVER. ***
Congratulations on dying the instant you started a new game, before you could even do anything. You must really suck at this, don't you? RAGE QUIT, SMASH KEYBOARD, or THROW COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW?

> THE forget

Invalid command. RESTORE, PERFORM ABORTION, RAGE QUIT?

> RESTORE

You are now back to the part where you challenged Gloria to do puzzles.

> STEP BACK

You try to step backwards, but the living flesh-pieces taking the shape of humanoid figures are currently restraining you.

> MAKE THE BEST ROBO JOKE IN THE WORLD

You can't think of jokes properly when there's still an anti-materiel rifle being planted between your eyes, and I can't think of anything witty to say in the event that you do successfully drop a robo-joke and get shot dead for playing around.

> UNLEASH YOUR SECRET TECHNIQUE ATTACK THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FOR GENERATIONS

You try to unleash the secret technique while still being restrained, but then you realize that your grandfather never taught you what the technique was.

> DROP A COMPLEX PUZZLE ABOUT THE STAMPS

"You have ten stamps, ranging from 0 through 9. Your goal with these stamps is to imprint numbers in boxes to make sure the equation stays true using as few stamps as possible. The first equation is X + Y = 11. How many stamps are able to be used, and what kind adds up to 11?" You say.

Gloria the Glorious starts using her internal search engine to find the answer.

> THROW ROCKS INTO THE STILL OPEN PORTAL

You briefly struggle free and throw rocks into the portal as a form of SOS. All you can see through the portal is the underground dungeon with the corpses of the two survivors that accompanied you, so your SOS signal ends up being useless. Gloria the Glorious slaps you with her rifle-arm and continues using her internal search engine while the humanoid-flesh-pieces restrain you even tighter.

> STATE A PARADOX

"Wait a minute, wrong puzzle! This is a new one!" You shout. "Is this statement false?"

"PARADOXES WON'T WORK ON AN ADVANCED, SENTIENT AI LIKE ME, FOOLISH HUMAN. I'VE GOT PARADOX ABSORBING CRUMPLE ZONES." Gloria the Glorious levels the Anti Materiel rifle at your face again. Her finger slowly starts moving toward the trigger. You look up at the sky one last time and see the ILC building, with your fellow employees still shooting at the massive air fortress. An employee briefly ignores the air fortress and scans the rest of the streets before noticing your imminent execution. She pulls out a M72 LAW and aims it at Gloria's head, and then she fires.

The rocket slams into the back of Gloria's head and explodes. Gloria flinches violently and has her aim thrown off as she pulls the trigger, resulting in the rifle going off next to your ears and sending a massive bullet into the concrete. The intense pain from such a loud noise deafens you once again, and your eardrums ache violently. You are rendered impotent by the massive pain for a few seconds.

Enraged and wounded, Gloria the Glorious whips around and starts targeting your fellow employees, causing the rest of them to notice a giant lovebot on the streets below shooting at them. Your fellow employees return fire, killing several of the flesh-figures restraining you and wounding Gloria further. You scramble scoot back away from the action as Gloria, the living flesh figures from the curious structure, and the other ILC employees trade gunfire with each other. The corpses of several coworkers fall out of the ILC building..... And so do their weapons. You spot a few rocket launchers, plasma rifles, and grenade launchers on the floor, and the ammo for them is located in the pockets of the corpses of your coworkers.

The air fortress begins descending lower and lower to the ground, and you see several robots above preparing to jump down and assist Gloria. You look to the south and spot a truck with a crudely mounted machine gun in the distance, the driver moving in to ambush the robots from behind.

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are lightly wounded, hungry, and thirsty.

Check out The Deal: Revisited on the Unofficial Forum Games Discord if you want to suggest what the next mission/delivery should be.

[Space1255]

Ask her to continue with the first puzzle stated. Also suggest that, for fairness, she has a limited time to solve it.

[tber123]

> ASK GLORIA TO CONTINUE WITH THE FIRST PUZZLE

You ask Gloria the Glorious to continue with the first puzzle, and tell her that she has a limited time to solve it. Gloria the Glorious is too busy shooting at your fellow ILC employees to give a damn, and you're going to be next once she's done shooting them.

The guy driving a technical (The truck with a machine gun) comes closer and closer. The robots in the air fortress above start jumping off, their robo-feet landing on the ground any second now. More and more corpses of your coworkers fall out of the ILC building, along with more and more of their weaponry.

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are lightly wounded, hungry, and thirsty.

Check out The Deal: Revisited on the Unofficial Forum Games Discord if you want to suggest what the next mission/delivery should be.

[Space1255]

"Feh. Fine then, riddle me this!"
Tackle Gloria while she's distracted with the other poor saps fighting.

[plad101]

While she is distracted by the other guys run up underneath her and shove the R870 into her robo vag and empty it.