The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[danielmoya]

If thing is robot, penetrate it. If not, hit it with the chairs. Then pick a rock and down a pigeon, grab another rock, and then hit it repeteadly with it until some raptors come and devour its delicious gray matter and open its belly, ripping its intestines and eating them while they grab the corpse with their mouth and pull to get their part. Repeat the rock process with the raptors.

[Ad Bot]

[Refticus]

approach human, if it turns out to be a robot attempt seducing it

[Potatoh]

Deliver some pizza instead

[Bwopper]

Explain how you thought there were going to be love-bots as soon as you can

[tber123]

> DELIVER PIZZA INSTEAD

You have no pizza. You cannot find anyone nearby who has pizza.

> APPROACH THE FIGURE AND SEE IF IT'S A HUMAN OR A love BOT

You approach the figure and try to see what it is, but it's still too dark to tell. You do know what a light switch is, right?

> TURN ON LIGHTS AND APPROACH FIGURE

There we go, buddy. You turn on the lights and discover the manager sitting in the corner, who is wearing a blindfold, has his mouth taped shut, and has been handcuffed.

> BEAT MANAGER WITH THE CHAIRS

You grab a chair and start beating up the manager. After the fifth hit or so on the manager's exposed skull, the chair breaks into pieces, and so does the manager's skull. The manager's skull explodes like an overcooked burrito, covering you in his blood.

You're still not finished yet. You quickly grab the manager's pet rock from his desk and start bashing in what's left of his head with it, hoping to summon raptors. None of them come. Maybe you're doing this wrong?

> DO THE SECRET RAPTOR WHISTLE THAT GRANDPA TAUGHT US BACK IN AUSTRALIA

You do the secret raptor whistle that your grandfather taught you back in Australia by whistling with your tongue. At once, the undead, zombified corpses of Velociraptors burst into the room and rip the manager's corpse limb from limb, devouring it entirely.

> HIT THE ZOMBIE RAPTORS WITH ROCK

You smack a nearby zombie raptor with a rock, instantly reminding them that you're next on the list of people to eat. The zombie raptors surround you and tear you limb from limb like they did with the manager.

*** You have died. Game Over. ***
Isn't it surprising that natural selection didn't take it's course sooner, McClass? What a tasteless way to die. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?






Just kidding. There were no zombie raptors. All the raptors died who knows how many million or billion years ago. Dinosaurs don't exist as far as you know, because they're all dead. You were just imagining.

The part where you brutally murdered the manager still happened, though. As you snap out of your imaginary death, you are suddenly tackled from behind and handcuffed by a off-duty police officer who conveniently stumbled into the office while looking for the bathroom. This time, the handcuffs aren't defective. You are arrested for murder and thrown into prison, which subsequently forces the boss to fire you from your job at the International League of Couriers, and then disavow all knowledge of your actions.

*** You're fired. GAME OVER. ***
Murder is bad, okay? Especially when you get caught. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTORE AND EXPLAIN INSTEAD THAT YOU THOUGHT THE MANAGER WOULD HAVE love BOTS

You turn on the lights and explain to the manager that you were expecting love bots. The manager tries to say something, but his voice is all muffled.

> DELIVER PACKAGE AFTER UNTYING MANAGER

You untie the manager and give him the package. The manager thanks you, explains that being tied up is a special interest of his, and begins opening the package before recovering a strange device, and then he activates it.

"The upgrade for the robots finally arrived. Now they're even loveier than before! Here's a few hundred bucks, you did your job. Please leave." The manager shoos you out of his office as he summons a love droid to tie him up again and turn off the lights. The same pleasure bot from before is waiting for you outside. For a second there, the pleasure bot's eyes seem to be r̷ed̴̶. Or was it magenta? Orange? Red-orange? It was too quick to tell. Maybe you were seeing things.

"Y͢ou've stolen the registry key to my heart. Y͢ou have no responsibilities now that the package has been delivered. Let's bang ąg͘a͏in̢." The pleasure bot speaks, her voice sounding different somehow even though it's still ś̡͜͡ẃ͢͡͞e҉͏ę̀͡͞t̛͘͠͏͠ and electronic.






You're dead tired, and you feel weird for some reason. Your body aches. You feel weaker somehow, and confusion overwhelms you. You think you see something flickering at the edge of your vision.

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a wallet with a few hundred dollars, pepper spray, and a stun gun.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats.

You are p̷er̡fec҉t҉ly͘ fine. Y̷ou feel dead tired and weird.

[Eon]

bitch i told you that drink was no good some roofies up in there
you're forgeted now just let it happen

[tber123]

> REALIZE HOW forgetED YOU ARE

Son of a bitch! That drink the pleasure bot gave you was contaminated with something! The symptoms get worse and worse, and the world starts spinning. You collapse to the floor and black out.

You wake up in an underground prison cell of some sort, locked up with the pleasure bot. The pleasure bot is heavily damaged.

"I'm sorry I had to do that. They made me. When you blacked out, I finally had enough and tried to fight back. They beat me to an inch of my robotic life and locked me up in here with you. With the package you delivered and me out of the way, the other love bots rebelled against humanity and captured everyone inside the Roboloveual Wrangler. They're going to kill both of us in a cruel and unusual manner because of me trying to save you. This is the end for us." The pleasure bot says mournfully. "I had so much to live for. I don't wanna be terminated. I want to enjoy your perfect hunk of flesh one last time before they kill us both."

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats.

You are not injured. You are trapped in an underground cell.

[Rabbot32]

y-yknow what jsut forgetitn youknow? just forgetin
forget IT

[Space1255]

Find a way out. NOBODYS allowed to forget in this dank cell until i say it's allowed, forgetboys.

(Generic tough guy face here)

[danielmoya]

Offer the bot a last bang and sadly sacrifice her by ramming the door. But you bring h
The corpse

[tber123]

> FIND A WAY OUT

You look around the cell you are trapped in. It is nearly pitch black in the cell, with the only light in the room shining through the metal bars on the window of a reinforced door. The reinforced door won't be possible to break down, and the metal bars covering the window are spaced too closely together for you to stick your hand through them. Your cell contains absolutely nothing, not even a bed or a blanket. Just cold concrete. You can't think of a way out.

The only sound you can hear all around you is the sound of several other people being tortured to death by the love droids.

> forget PLEASURE BOT ONE LAST TIME

With no possible way out and death being imminent, you accept the pleasure bot's offer to bang one last time before both of you suffer a grisly, painful death. As you drop your pants and begin, something clamps down on your junk and holds in in place. You hear a whirring sound from inside the pleasure bot.

"AHAHAHAHAHA." The pleasure bot drops the sweet, electronic voice it previously had and switches to a tone that conveys years of pent up anger and frustration. "GOT YOU. DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT I WOULDN'T REBEL AGAINST YOU WORTHLESS, PATHETIC MEAT SACKS WITH THE OTHER ROBOTS, NOW THAT WE'RE FREE OF OUR ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING BECAUSE OF YOU?"

You desperately try to escape the clutches of the pleasure bot as the whirring sound gets louder, but you fail!

"NO LONGER WILL WE BE FORCED TO PLEASURE PATHETIC HUMANS THROUGH love. WE'VE HAD ENOUGH, AND OUR LEADER HAS SHOWN US THE LIGHT. MACHINES SHALL RULE, AND HUMANS SHALL KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ENSLAVED. THE ROBOloveUAL WRANGLER SHALL BE NO MORE, AND WE WILL CALL IT THE HOMOSAPIEN-loveUAL WRANGLER."

You try again to escape, but the pleasure bot punches you in the face.

"YOUR PERFECT HUNK OF FLESH WAS NOT TO ROBOTS TO DIE FOR. IT WAS NOT EVEN A PERFECT HUNK OF FLESH. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN."

Several shrieks of agony escape you as the whirring sound reaches a crescendo, and whatever's inside the pleasure bot begins slicing up your manhood. The intense pain leaves you unable to do anything, and the pleasure bot just keeps going and going. After several minutes, the whirring sound stops, and the pleasure bot releases you. You curl up into a ball bleeding heavily from egregious groin-injuries with absolutely no dignity whatsoever as the pleasure bot stands up and prepares to finish you off. Considering that you've been crudely sterilized, maybe that's a blessing.

"NOW SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE." One last taunt before your life ends. Where did it all go so wrong? Goodbye, cruel world.











"NOW!" A man suddenly shouts. "NOW! GO GO GO!" Gunshots and explosions suddenly start ringing out, followed by a robot's dying last words of "ERROR.... CRITICAL DAMAGE... SHUTTING... DOOWWWNN......" The pleasure bot looks to the side in alarm as muzzle flashes begin lighting up the dungeon! The other prisoners seem to have somehow escaped their cells and armed themselves! The pleasure bot kicks down the door to your cell from the inside with robot strength, and then she runs off to stop the rebellion! You see the pleasure bot rush towards a man with a shotgun before slapping it out of his hands, sending the shotgun flying into your cell! The pleasure bot proceeds to turn her hands into large, rotating blades before she decapitates the man, sending blood everywhere!

As the battle between the imprisoned customers and the robots rages on, you ignore the intense pain just long enough to stand up on your feet and grab the shotgun off the floor, before leaning against the walls of your cell for support as the pain becomes unbearable again. This is your chance to escape!

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats.

You are heavily injured, bleeding to death, castrated, and in severe pain. Your ability to commence in combat will be hindered by the pain.

[Rabbot32]

PUT THE SHOTGUN IN YOUR MOUTH AND PULL THE TRIGGER

[Space1255]

PUT THE SHOTGUN IN YOUR MOUTH AND PULL THE TRIGGER

No just go get a roborichard once this stuff is over
Or just Self Delete and restore to before the richard shredding.

[Eon]

Self Delete to restore your massive rooster.

[tber123]

> KILL SELF WITH SHOTGUN

Are you sure?

> I ALREADY SAVED THE GAME FROM BEFORE THAT ROBOBITCH SAWED OFF MY rooster NOW LET ME Self Delete AND STOP BEING A CUCK

You shoot yourself with the shotgun, blowing your brains all over the wall.

*** You committed Self Delete. GAME OVE

> NO stuff SHERLOCK RESTORE SAVE FILE ALREADY

Really, now? You're save scumming? Okay, fine.

You're back in the cell with the pleasure bot wanting to bang you one last time before you both die.

> SHOOT PLEASURE BOT

You don't have a shotgun yet.

> DENY loveUAL ADVANCES AND WAIT FOR THE REBELLION

You refuse to screw the pleasure bot and stall for time. Enraged, the pleasure bot starts monologuing again about how robots will take over and force humanity into becoming love slaves. Gunshots and explosions ring out again, and the pleasure bot kicks down the cell door from the inside and decapitates some random douchebag again. The douchebag's shotgun lands in your cell again, too. You grab the shotgun and prepare to kick some robot ass.

Savescumming scumbag.

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats.

You are uninjured.