The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[cromartini]

kill yourself

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

kill yourself

You shove the entrepreneur  and his prostitutes out of the way before you leap out of the limo, landing directly into the path of a church bus. You are turned into an undertaker's nightmare, and several little kids inside the bus are traumatized.

*** You have died. Game Over. ***
You should probably call a Self Delete prevention hotline before you kill yourself next time. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTORE AND YELL "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME"

You yell that you can't get out if the entrepreneur  and his prostitutes keep attacking you. As the limo driver makes his way onto the freeway, the entrepreneur  and his prostitutes get the message and grab you before moving you next to the side windows, ready to throw you out of the limo. Considering the fact that there are a bunch of other cars on the freeway and it's naturally really dark at night, getting thrown out of the limo is not an option if you wish to be anything other than roadkill.

> _

You are not carrying anything in your inventory, since the police confiscated all of it.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats. Your clothes are pretty soaked from landing into the swimming pool of a limo.

You are heavily injured. Bruises are everywhere, and you generally look like a mess.

[Space1255]

"Can you at least pull over so I can get out safely??"

[Refticus]

ask if you can just be let out like a sensible human being

[Bwopper]

when the entrepreneur  isn't kicking, pull yourself up on his leg and kick in the groins. Then dash to the nearest window, and burst out.

[Potatoh]

Ask for person to ask person spaghetti sausages made of golden honey spontaneous noodles in a helicopter persons virginity and the virginity got to the blue box of spoons made up of wooden potatohs

[tber123]

Ask for person to ask person spaghetti sausages made of golden honey spontaneous noodles in a helicopter persons virginity and the virginity got to the blue box of spoons made up of wooden potatohs

> ASK FOR PERSON TO ASK PERSON SPAGHETTI SAUSAGES MADE OF GOLDEN HONEY SPONTANEOUS NOODLES VIRGINITY VAGINITY BLUE SPOON WAFFLES ASDGFAFSDGSADFGAFDGRAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I don't know how to comprehend that command. English, motherforgeter, do you speak it?

"Can you at least pull over so I can get out safely??"

ask if you can just be let out like a sensible human being

> ASK TO BE LET OUT WITHOUT BEING THROWN OUT

You politely ask for the limo to pull over so that the entrepreneur  can let you out like a sensible human being. The entrepreneur 's driver slams on the brakes(in the middle of the freeway) while the entrepreneur  and his prostitutes let go.

when the entrepreneur  isn't kicking, pull yourself up on his leg and kick in the groins. Then dash to the nearest window, and burst out.

> KICK entrepreneur  IN GROIN AND BURST OUT OF LIMO

Showing your uttermost gratitude for the entrepreneur 's mercy, you kick him in the groin with the force of a sledgehammer. The entrepreneur  lets out a high-pitched shriek of agony as he doubles over, and the male prostitutes glare at you with newfound revenge in their eyes. Before the prostitutes can enact their revenge, you kick the limo doors open and burst out into the freeway.

Suddenly, you see a bright white light. The sheer brilliance of the light blinds you, and you think for a moment that you must have died and gone to the afterlife. That thought is soon proven wrong when you hear a loud HONK, followed by the sound of screeching tires as someone slams on the brakes. You turn to the side and see the headlights of a car heading straight for you. You did remember that you're in the middle of the freeway, right?

> _

You are not carrying anything in your inventory, since the police confiscated all of it.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats. Your clothes are pretty soaked from landing into the swimming pool of a limo.

You are heavily injured. Bruises are everywhere, and you generally look like a mess.

You are in the middle of the freeway at night.

[Bwopper]

Jump on to the biggest car you can find on the freeway passing you. Hold on with all your might until you can start breaking the glass. Hijack the car.

[Refticus]

loving run for the hills

[tber123]

Jump on to the biggest car you can find on the freeway passing you. Hold on with all your might until you can start breaking the glass. Hijack the car.

> DODGE RIGHT

You dive to the right, narrowly avoiding becoming roadkill. Another car approaches you, and this one is huge.

> JUMP ON TO THE CAR AND HANG ON

You avoid becoming roadkill again by jumping onto the car, landing on it's hood. The driver of the car starts swerving wildly and activating the windshield wipers, trying to stop you. You hang on for dear life.

> BREAK GLASS AND HIJACK THE CAR

You continue punching and kicking at the windshield until it breaks into pieces. The driver lets out a scream of horror as you get in, and starts going for the pistol in the glove compartment. You shove the driver out of the car and watch as she tumbles into the path of a semi truck. As you start driving off, you suddenly hear a wail of despair. You look in the back seat and see a teenager with glasses and a laptop bag trembling violently as he points at you.

The teenager says:"No! Please don't hurt me! I'm still a virgin!"

loving run for the hills

> DRIVE FOR THE HILLS

You start driving the car off of the freeway, causing a few traffic jams and multi-car pileups in the process as people slam the brakes trying not to t-bone you. You are now driving a hijacked car up the hills with a teenager stuck screaming in the back seat.

> _

You are not carrying anything in your inventory, since the police confiscated all of it.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats.

You are heavily injured. Bruises are everywhere, and you generally look like a mess.

[cromartini]

leave and go to the guy that gave you this job.

[Bwopper]

You go down the nearest exit, go on the side of the road, ditch the car and creep along the forestline till you get to the next town. Before ditching, ask if hes got any snacks.

[Potatoh]

ask person to open you some blue atomic best buy can made of green wood that is red bees and made up of tiny virginity tickets to purple pink kink stage full of spicy red tomato guns

[tber123]

ask person to open you some blue atomic best buy can made of green wood that is red bees and made up of tiny virginity tickets to purple pink kink stage full of spicy red tomato guns

>ASK PERSON TO OPEN YOU AN ATOMIC BEST BUY CAN MADE OF GREEN WOOD THAT HAS RED BEES AND VIRGINITY TICKETS WITH PURPLE KINK SPICY RED TOMATO GUNS

The text parser can't understand a damn thing you're saying.

You go down the nearest exit, go on the side of the road, ditch the car and creep along the forestline till you get to the next town. Before ditching, ask if hes got any snacks.

> ASK THE TEENAGER IF HE HAS ANY SNACKS

You turn around and ask the teenager if he has any snacks. He only nods his head no and curls up into the fetal position.

> DITCH THE CAR AND CREEP ALONG FORESTLINE

You abandon the safety of the car and creep along the forestline. It is nice and quiet, other than the sound of the teenager calling 911 in the distance and the roar of a bear(also in the distance) attacking the car you just abandoned(which is, you guessed it, also in the distance).

leave and go to the guy that gave you this job.

> GO TO EMPLOYER

You continue creeping in the forest until you get back to the city, where you walk to the headquarters of the International League of Couriers. The ILC Building is a massive, majestic, golden skyscraper, piercing the clouds themselves. Outside the ILC Building is a sculpture of their logo, which happens to be a guy dressed like a mailman holding a package with one hand and a rifle with the other while being lifted into the air by an eagle, who is somehow carrying and firing two machine guns with it's wings.

As you step into the ILC Building, a voice suddenly rings out over the intercom.

"JOHN MCCLASS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE BOSS'S OFFICE. REPEAT, JOHN MCCLASS TO THE BOSS'S OFFICE."

You take a look at the lobby as you walk to the elevator. The lobby is equally majestic, with everything being golden, lots of fountains, a massive hall of fame on one side and an equally massive "Employee of the Month" area on the other, expensive paintings and chairs, and generally expensive everything. You step into the elevator and ride several dozen floors up, where you step into the boss's office. The boss's office is impractically massive. Golden statues and fountains of the boss himself are littered everywhere, there are several paintings of the boss's successors strewn about(all of which look almost exactly like him), a full golf course and race track sit in the corner, there's a hangar full of aircraft in another corner, and you're still not there yet. Before you can get to the boss himself, you have to cross several flights of stairs. After crossing the stairs, you find yourself in a throne room, where the boss sits with his back to you in a platinum chair while he smokes a cigar and looks down upon the city. The boss's desk is also platinum.

The boss says: "I heard about what happened at the warehouse in the stuffty part of town. Mind explaining that whole mess to me, McClass?"

> _

You are not carrying anything in your inventory, since the police confiscated all of it.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy. Except for the bowler hat, though. Not too many civilians in this area wear bowler hats.

You are heavily injured. Bruises are everywhere, and you generally look like a mess.

[cromartini]

Explain him everything. From gary, to the entrepreneur .