The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[Refticus]

Swim through the lake like a man to see your party

we don't want our clothes to get wet so we'll have to swim naked

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

> SHOVE CLOTHES INTO INVENTORY

You strip naked and shove your clothes into your inventory. Somehow.

> SWIM TO OUR PARTY

You jump into the river and immediately feel shocked. It's ice-cold in here, and you've got no protection from the penetrating daggers of the freezing lake! Your entire body begins to shiver, but you must press on. You eventually make it to the other side of the lake and leap onto the grass, immediately causing a bunch of familiar voices to shout out in surprise.

"Jesus Christ! What the hell happened to your clothes?" The manager shouts.

You take a look around and notice that the gang's all here, sitting around a campfire... Except for Jimmy.

> ASK WHERE JIMMY IS

"Jimmy? That fellow's still inside the retirement home. His grandma is living in there, too. Now, could you please put on some clothes?" Your red-cap wearing companion replies.

> ASK HOW OUR COMPANIONS GOT HERE

"Well uh... We kinda got carried away inside there. We celebrated our victory over peacefully delivering the letters by drinking, partying hard, going out to the golf course, drinking some more, accidentally wrecking a few golf carts, stuff like that. Some weird guy with a moustache, a trenchcoat, and a mysterious tattoo on his neck was also hanging around watching us, but we figured he was a harmless weirdo." The overweight guy responds.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, regular civilian clothes, a Rolex watch, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing absolutely nothing. Since this is America and you aren't anywhere near a nude beach, your presence won't be tolerated until you put some clothes on.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[Notorious B.I.G.]

Play this song and then hit staff with the entrepreneur  cane

[Refticus]

stay naked, this is a free country, i thought this was america.

[Space1255]

Get some underwear on at least

[tber123]

> PUT ON UNDERWEAR BUT REMAIN MOSTLY NAKED BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA

You put on some boxers. You're mostly naked, but it's a free loving country. Ain't nobody gonna tell you to put some more clothes on!

And then the security guard from before walks onto the golf course and instantly spots you.

"You're going to have to leave, you filthy degenerate. Get out of here before I call for reinforcements."

> HIT STAFF MEMBERS WITH entrepreneur  STAFF WHILE BLASTING THE WHAT BIGGIE

You blast rap music from your phone, rush at the security guard, and smash her across the face with your entrepreneur  staff, knocking her unconscious and sending her tumbling backwards into the lake that you just crawled out of, where she disappears into the water.

Almost immediately after dispatching the security guard, a bright red laser dot starts hovering over your heart. It is easily visible in the darkness, and starts flickering rapidly.

That laser dot doesn't look very friendly...

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, regular civilian clothes, a Rolex watch, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

Your party contains the guy with a red baseball cap, the Roboloveual Wrangler's manager, and an overweight guy.

You are wearing absolutely nothing, except for your underwear. Which is perfectly fine, I guess. Better than being naked, but not that much better.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>



[/quote]

[Notorious B.I.G.]

oh stuff he got a red do-
put on your civilian clothes and your rolex watch
AND TAKE COVER!

[Refticus]

realise we just killed the waifu of the story.
my fanfictions stated that the protagonist dates her.

[Space1255]

Fun, a dot. Duck as soon as a shot is heard.

[tber123]

> PUT CLOTHES ON AND ROLEX WATCH QUICKLY

Done. The red dot keeps flickering over your heart. Faster and faster it flickers.

> DUCK AS SOON AS A SHOT IS HEARD

You anxiously wait for a gunshot to be heard. All you can hear is the sound of lightning striking the Earth.

> LOOK FOR COVER

You look around for any sources of cover and spot a golf cart.

> HIDE BEHIND GOLF CART

You sprint to the golf cart and hide behind it. A bullet cracks as it whizzes by over your head, and your companions scatter in all directions.

> REALIZE THAT WE JUST KILLED THE WAIFU

You despair over the death of a future waifu. Meanwhile, you hear the noise of a golf cart engine approaching you, and then it happens.

You spot a mysterious, trenchcoat-wearing figure in the darkness, driving a golf cart directly at you as he raises a golf club high in the air. Lightning flashes again, revealing that the trechcoat-wearing figure has a moustache and a neck tattoo.


> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

Your party contains the guy with a red baseball cap, the Roboloveual Wrangler's manager, and an overweight guy.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>

[Notorious B.I.G.]

Run away

[Refticus]

insult his moustache for a critical emotion hit

[NotBomberguy]

buy a train and engage multi track drifting

[tber123]

> RUN RUN RUN

You continue running. The trenchcoat-weirdo in a golf cart is getting closer.

> INSULT HIS MOUSTACHE FOR AN EMOTIONAL CRITICAL HIT

"You call that a moustache? Clearly, you fell into the hairy ass of a hooker with glue on your lip to make that moustache!" You insult the trenchcoat-guy, causing a great amount of grief to him. He continues chasing after you, still getting closer and closer.

You spot a random old guy driving a customized golf cart called the "Train" in circles as you continue running for your life.

> BUY THE TRAIN

You rush up to the senior citizen, shove some cash in his face, and offer to buy his "Train".

He gladly takes the cash and walks off back into the retirement home.

> ESCAPE WITH MULTI TRACK DRIFTING SKILLS

You apply your multi track drifting skills to the golf course, managing to skid the forget away from the trenchcoat guy and gain a significant lead on him. Your companions are left behind in the dust.

> DRIFT HARDER

You drift even harder across the golf course, managing to lose the trenchcoat guy entirely. For a while, at least. You hear the sound of rocket thrusters being activated, and then you see your assailant coming at you with enough velocity to send a man into space.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing civilian clothes and a Rolex watch.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You've got a cold.


>



[/quote]

[cromartini]

get some distance from the local molester who kinda looks like youre grandfather, then turn towards him, extend your entrepreneur  staff and engage in entrepreneur  staff and golf cart jousting like youre grandfather taught you before he went into the ultimatum war.