there are two lovees. gender is not love.
Since gender is a social construct, thinking there are only 2 genders is socially constructing it. That's how society works, people as a whole express their views on how they see other people's identity and those people respond either positively or negatively.
When you go over to someone who identifies as a woman but is male and say "you're a man!" you're going to be inciting a negative reaction from them. This is exactly the same thing as addressing a 30 year old woman as 'kid' instead of 'maam' and obviously the only person at fault is you, since you intentionally decided to be rude. However, if you want to live your life as a rude individual, you do you. Just don't blame other people for their reaction