my personal experience is limited to various S&W semi-autos, glocks, the M9, and 1911-type handguns
stick to 9mm or 380; cheap & common ammo. subjective handling feel is more important than objective on-paper stats: if you aren't comfortable using the weapon then you can't really expect to operate it quickly and effectively. for reference i have small girly hands for a 5'11" @ 150 lb guy:
glock 19/23/37 - imho the ergonomics are atrocious-- both holding and shooting. that's all i can really say about them. I heard they're reliable tho idk lol
beretta M9 - at its size and weight the capacity should be more like 17-19 rounds. they shoot straight and reliably but overall it's too big for my hands and too big for eventual cc (not that it can't be carried; my sister's bf carries one daily but he's a freaking bear)
1911-types - my favorite honestly. for me they feel just right in every way (albeit a trigger job usually goes a long way), even the (rare) double-stack .45 variants are more comfortable than the M9 and G37. single-stacks are skinny so they aren't too intrusive when carrying. look into 9mm kimbers
S&W shield .40 - i've put more rounds through this one than any other and it has jammed more consistently than any other in this list, but i have messed with its guts a bit. all-around great pistol otherwise
i've heard a lot of good about canik pistols but never even held one yet
