you literally just did tho
How the forget is whatever controlling your brain point to the numerous I's in the sentence and say "Hmmm... He's blaming some imaginary being!"
Like, I said I was in a very tired state and that might have affected my thought process, but that's it.
It doesn't even explain how you thought it would get grim and celau off of your ass
Why should it? We've all done stupid stuff at one point in our lives for little to no reason.