Author Topic: Nevermind  (Read 4976 times)

PhantOS is right lol. At the core of a relationship is a compromise between your individuality and your partner's happiness. It's not about being a "good person", it's about having the ability to fulfill someone's unique needs. There's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship, especially as a young adult or teenager. Truthfully speaking, it's most likely healthier for you in the long run.

Don't go into it thinking you're gonna go richard her down on the couch on your first date lol. Just go into it thinking you're going to spend some alone time with her. Getting into the situation where it can actually happen in the first place is like 90% of the battle. In my experience first times are way easier than you'd expect them to be, my first time I didn't even have to try or worry about it because I was just hanging out with someone casually, and then at some point you realize "Oh okay this is happening" and then you just go with it. At that point you don't really have to worry about picking and choosing what you're comfortable with because you'll be figuring it out as you go.
You always give up a bit of individualism and structuralism when you interact with othet people, especially serious stuff. Thats just part of having to deal with other people. You can also choose to be alone but given my past experiences with it, it's not ideal.

And I dont expect to bone her, neither do I want to. This isnt the first time we've done this and back then we spooned n stuff. Wholesome stuff. Also the stuff she said to me through messenger are a pretty clear indicator shes down, unless im being led on. Oh and we gon watch 50 shades too. I mean, even for a dense handicap like me its clear.

TBH I do want to contradict espio because it's espio lol but I guess now that I realize he's 18 for some odd reason I feel less inclined to stuff on him
Wow okay rude.

he was stuff on because his points suck and ultimately bring nothing to the table, you don't have to forget someone to know this
that's cool that you think that and all but im here because darth and everyone else commenting the dismissive one-liners were out of line lmfao
like im wondering if you even read his posts khaz cause literally nothing he said helped anyone lmfao
phantos is both wrong and right or perhaps neither wrong nor right because it's a mindset that has formed through his own experiences. the core of what he was saying was to not worry about love or relationships and focus on yourself and your individuality especially at a younger age before committing to something that isn't just about yourself. why do you think most younger individuals feel so lost and depressed whenever something negative happens in their love life (or the lack of something happening)?

he gave a perfectly reasonable opinion to "im batstuff terrified of being loved".

like im wondering if you even read his posts khaz cause literally nothing he said helped anyone lmfao
By being realistic doesnt mean that you're not helpful.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2018, 02:22:41 AM by espio100 »

phantos is both wrong and right or perhaps neither wrong nor right because it's a mindset that has formed through his own experiences.

my god you're all so full of stuff

nothing he posted came off as something a healthy individual would say - whoever said this was the worst place to come to advice for was a loving genius because going into an incel-tier rant about DAE relationships are evil instantly validated them
« Last Edit: July 12, 2018, 02:49:00 AM by IkeTheGeneric »


literally no one's arguing the point of him being a healthy individual. what are you even going on about at this point

obviously someone "unhealthy" in regards to relationships is going to say something along the lines of "love will most likely forget you up if you dont have your stuff together"

literally no one's arguing the point of him being a healthy individual. what are you even going on about at this point

obviously someone "unhealthy" in regards to relationships is going to say something along the lines of "love will most likely forget you up if you dont have your stuff together"

Oh forget off, you came in here to give darth stuff without reading the thread first, it's pretty obvious. Turns out, stuffting on people's parade because you're a bitter, angry person is a richard move. Shocker!

how to be completely loving handicapped 101

I appreciated PhantOS's posts in this thread. You only ever heard one perspective on this stuff. I've been working through some problems of my own recently and it's refreshing to hear somebody say that love and relationships can be unhealthy for you at times and that it's okay to be single and focused on yourself in the early stages of adulthood. I only ever hear people talk about how great and awesome and epic long term relationships are, it's rare somebody talks about how detrimental they can be. I'd be willing to bet there were at-least a couple people who read through this thread and felt the same way.

You can also choose to be alone but given my past experiences with it, it's not ideal.

It's not really about being alone, but building meaningful non-romantic relationships with the people in your life. Isolation is dangerous and I'd never recommend it to anybody. Realistically, a network of dependable people is more constructive than a long-term romantic relationship.

how to be completely loving handicapped 101
Guess we're at the rope's end of that one lmfao


I appreciated PhantOS's posts in this thread. You only ever heard one perspective on this stuff. I've been working through some problems of my own recently and it's refreshing to hear somebody say that love and relationships can be unhealthy for you at times and that it's okay to be single and focused on yourself in the early stages of adulthood. I only ever hear people talk about how great and awesome and epic long term relationships are, it's rare somebody talks about how detrimental they can be. I'd be willing to bet there were at-least a couple people who read through this thread and felt the same way.

I can get this point, I've been through some pretty awful relationships and sometimes the whole lovey-dovey "relationships fix everything" stuff just strikes a nerve. I don't know if it was just a mixture of him prefacing him being serious with stuffposting at the start of the thread or what but if he was trying to do real talk he forgeted it up pretty hard.

Telling someone to be careful and not to look for all the answers and set themselves up for failure is alright, but stuffting on their parade because you're a bitter jerk just really isn't a great thing to do. That's how PhantOS came off like to me and that's why people "ganged up" on him.

I appreciated PhantOS's posts in this thread. You only ever heard one perspective on this stuff. I've been working through some problems of my own recently and it's refreshing to hear somebody say that love and relationships can be unhealthy for you at times and that it's okay to be single and focused on yourself in the early stages of adulthood. I only ever hear people talk about how great and awesome and epic long term relationships are, it's rare somebody talks about how detrimental they can be. I'd be willing to bet there were at-least a couple people who read through this thread and felt the same way.
yes this. sorry not sorry but the strong animosity towards phantos loving behooves me and darth butting in when we all know he doesn't have a loving clue about any of it was just the stuff icing on the dirt cake.

I can get this point, I've been through some pretty awful relationships and sometimes the whole lovey-dovey "relationships fix everything" stuff just strikes a nerve. I don't know if it was just a mixture of him prefacing him being serious with stuffposting at the start of the thread or what but if he was trying to do real talk he forgeted it up pretty hard.

Telling someone to be careful and not to look for all the answers and set themselves up for failure is alright, but stuffting on their parade because you're a bitter jerk just really isn't a great thing to do. That's how PhantOS came off like to me and that's why people "ganged up" on him.
lmfao. totally not like I was saying something similar to what Rally said before you went nuclear. try reading the thread next time

lmfao. totally not like I was saying something similar to what Rally said before you went nuclear

I'm going to be 100% honest, all you had interest in was shutting everyone down. I'm not going to talk to you like you're being reasonable when you're not. Implying I went "Nuclear" only further proves this point.

itt incredibly unhealthy people coach socially awkward dude how to recluse back into feeling like a loser because they forgeted up their own life already and are bitter about it
Im going to be 100% honest, all you had interest in was shutting everyone down.

take several seats sweetie

Im going to be 100% honest, all you had interest in was shutting everyone down.

take several seats sweetie

I shut him down because on the off chance OP took his dumb advice seriously he could have ended up worse for wear. He obviously digs this chick and doesn't have that push to feel comfortable enough to go on a small date with her. You're shutting me down because I gave your buddy stuff. World of difference.

If you don't like that, maybe try a change of tone. Trying to get people to gang up on darth yet again was loving pathetic.

If you don't like that, maybe try a change of tone. Trying to get people to gang up on darth yet again was loving pathetic.
if you honestly think that im that type of forumer then I dont know what else to tell you. perhaps my aversion was because darth's response was entirely out of left field.

darth barely bothers me in the first place so this whole notion that im out to get him is grasping at straws and you know it lmfao.